My Last Post

Hey y'all! Sorry to just abandon y'all like Halle abandoned her crack baby in Losing Isaiah. I PROMISE I've been doing constructive things while in your absence. Lemme check real quick the last blog post I did.....OCTOBER!! SHEEEEEIT! Well in my defense- it was the end of October so TECHNICALLY we can say November. No? Eh- I tried. WARNING! This post will be extremely long so just get comfortable.
So what has been up with Chelle? I'll break it down in sections: Family/Friends and Lovers.

Family/ Friends:

     WELL. Thanksgiving I went to Maryland. I hadn't planned on taking the trip but the family guilted it on me saying, "It'll be the first time Granddad will have all his grandchildren at the same time." And since two of Granddad's sisters and a brother-in-law passed within a span of two months, a ray of sunshine was warranted in his life. I had fun- like I always do whenever I come home to visit. Of course there was drama. It started with my Uncle Jr's wife Trinette- but chile that is TOO much to go into. My mom was living with my 23 yr old cousin Tony in his apartment- again- too much to go into.
    For Shara's bday, me, her, Shay, Lamuriel, Kesha, and her twin sister Tasha, all went to the mountains for a weekend. It was soooooo beautiful y'all. Of course we went shopping at the outlet stores but we also went tubing which was the BEESKNEES! Do people still say that? No? Just checking.
    Carmen is still my road dawg. We don't go out during the work week as much as we used to, most of the time we're just chilling at her place. We went and got piercings and tattoos. Correction- I just got my nose pierced. She got her lip pierced and 2 tattoos. We're (me, Carmen, and Shara) planning a trip to Myrtle Beach in a couple of months for a Girls Gone Wild weekend. I know we'll be trouble. Y'all just start saving up the bond money and mailing it me now :)
   Shay and I are enrolled as full-time students at JCSU. Her major is criminology and mine, secondary education/English. The first term went very well with me getting A's in all of my classes. This term may be a bit different seeing as I have math and an online Spanish class. My brain hurts constantly. I'll be lucky to pass those two with a B and I'll settle for a C. I'm lying. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want an A.
    Shara is still looking for her full-time job. Her temp job has ended but they hired her on as part time. As extreme part-time.
    On December 31st I lost one of my fave cousins, Lynette Copper. She was the reason why I would have so much fun whenever I came home. One time I was over at my aunt's house sitting and it was my birthday. Lynette came over with her friend Sharky that I had a crush on, and two other guys and we had FUUUUUUN. Never a dull moment with her. I knew she was really popular- being a star basketball player and all- but I wasn't expecting the funeral to be held at the high school auditorium. And I was pleasantly surprised to see 2/3 of the auditorium filled with people expressing their condolences.
    When I went for Thanksgiving, my mom was living with my cousin Tony at his apartment and made it up in her mind she was divorcing Lamont, going as far as putting "single" as her facebook status. When I came back for the funeral, she was back with Lamont. A month after that her facebook status changed to "married" CHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!!! If that woman ain't too damn much!
    My Grandma Emilie just came for a very- too- brief visit. She wasn't happy with the condition of my dad. She knew he wasn't taking care of himself and she can tell that he is unhappy with his life. She's extremely worried, especially since she lost my Uncle Chuck almost 10 years ago and my dad has survived 2 brain aneurysms. She doesn't want to bury another child. Soooo, I need to think of a plan to help the man because I don't want to bury a father.
   

LOVERS:

     Malachi is out the picture. I saw him at Wild Wing one night, like 2 or 3 months ago when Carmen and I took some guests there. He was in love with my hair and couldn't keep his hands out of it.
     Sauce moved to Cali so he can have a better chance with his music. I do miss hanging out with him but at least we get to chat on Fb occasionally.
     Steve, I kicked him to the curb. He still sends me random texts- like the one he sent me 5 in the flippin morning stating "i miss ur head game" but DAYUM. You miss it so bad that you sending those kind of messages at 5am bruh bruh? Shara's response: Where they do that at? His texts always goes unanswered. Ain't nobody stuntin that fool.
    David is back in Michigan. His divorce is final, or so I think, but I haven't heard anything from him. Twice his company came down and twice he didn't come down with them.
   Remember Loon? Thought so. I didn't either until I read some past blog posts, lol. After that crazy night, he did invite me and Shara over there for a small cookout. It was nice. It was also the last time I heard anything from him.
   So I know what question is on every one's mind: Who actually stood around? Will. SMH. Dangerous I tell ya. We still hookup, like almost every other week. It was more til Sammy came into the picture. So I'm over Will's the other night. He's high and drunk. And he's professing all kinds of things to me. How he thinks about me sometimes. How cool I am. How we're in a "special place"...and he never finished that sentence. Well actually he finished the sentence with a kiss on my thigh but he never fully processed the thought. Shara is ready for Will and I to be a couple. I am not. I am truly happy with where I am now with Will and Sammy. 
  Now before you go browsing through the blog history- thinking that I forgot to link a name on the blogroll- NO I have not mentioned Sammy before. He is a new victim and one you may not approve of. ***DEEP BREATH***  He lives in Atlanta but his job brings him to Charlotte every week. Of course we met when I checked him into the hotel. He stayed there a couple of times but his face was always in "mean mug formation" so I never initiated any flirting. One time he came up to the desk and asked about things to do in Charlotte. I told him there wasn't much, but gave him some suggestions. He actually had to check out early the next day but he called back and said: "I forgot something" "Oh brother, you shouldn't have left in such a hurry." He laughs and says,  "I forgot to get your number." WOOOOW!!! That was cute though. So of course I gave him the number. We went out to Wild Wings one night. Went to Applebee's and a movie the other night. And went to his room another night. Oh. It is sad y'all. He has a chubby wubby, lol, but his head game is definitely on point, so I contemplated keeping him around. I cemented the thought of keeping him around when he paid for my $90 hubcap without me asking him. He started taking me to the Cheesecake Factory, Maggiano's, Harper's, blah blah blah, paid for my tire when it blew out one night on 77. He's a true gentleman. He's married y'all! SMDH. I really need to start checking for wedding rings, because he says he never removes his. And I'm inclined to believe it, being how he never removes it, even while we're on 'dates' in public places, and I am quite self-involved- so I don't notice details like that.
   Buuuuuttttt...we still see each other. HEY- did I NOT just say I am selfish? And he's the sweetest guy, really. Like a couple of weeks ago I was having a bad day. You know, when you're feeling kinda down not just emotionally, but physically and spiritually as well? I told him that I wasn't going to go to class and he, of course, was all in my shit about skipping class. After I explained that if I were to go to class, I wouldn't be paying attention anyway, he offered two choices. 1: Get a hotel room where I can go and be by myself and catch up on my schoolwork and relax. or 2: Wait another hour or so for him to get off of work and we'll get a hotel on the beach and can take a nice stroll on the water. You don't even have to ASK which one I chose. No looking back every since. I know my role. I don't expect any proclamations of love or divorce and he doesn't give them. It is what it is. But I still can't help but to feel guilty. And I can't help but to wonder why. Why cheat on his wife? From the little bit he's told me (I've never asked him about his wife) we do have a lot in common. So why me? I don't know how her attitude is, but often when people cheat, they choose to do so with someone who's the complete opposite of their partner. It is a mystery, but one I don't really look forward to solving.
   As for Will, whatever happens, happens. I tried twice to hook something up, a Tuesday and a Wednesday. First time he had a valid excuse. Second time he did not. The next day he texts me asking me what I'm doing. I'm with my people, having a good ass time. I told him I was chillin. Saturday night- 2am- I get this bullshit ass text from him that reads: "Aww, u tryin 2 b mad at me? Im sorry. C thats why i dont have a girlfriend. My video games get in the way" Really? I wish I didn't text so much so I can type you guys my exact response. Instead you guys are gonna have to rely on my sometimes shoddy memory. I replied: "LMAO. Don't feel as if you have to tell me everything you're doing. It's not like we're exclusive. I just had a really busy weekend" And in all honesty I did. It started with that Thursday with the impromptu party at Carmen's. Followed by working from 3-11 and going to the club after work with Shara. (That was sooooo much fun. But why did the fugly guys all dance up on me? Ah well. Fugly guys need love too, lol) Saturday I hung out with my younger cousin Brandon and once Shara got off of work, we had a Girl's Night In, complete with pizza, wings, sweetiegoods, and LifeTime movies. Sunday I had dinner at Carmen's and went to the movies with my Ter-Bear. It was a great weekend and how DARE he try to think I was playing some kind of game! Once he makes it up in his mind that I'm obviously different from those other girls he has been with- well I don't care to think what will happen, because I've already determined that he is not boyfriend material. The boy is obviously confused because late Tuesday night (while I was passed out on my bed with a stomach virus and a fever) he calls me asking me about my whereabouts. I could barely comprehend him. (Me and Shara talk about this all the time) Have you ever been sleep and when the phone rings, just pick it up like you were wide-ass awake? It happens to me all the time. I think I just picked up because the phone was loud as hell in my ear. (Don't act like I'm the only one who doesn't sleep with her phone by her pillow) I was in the bed HURT y'all! Then he said something like- "Are you sure you're just sleeping? It sounds like you're doing something else." to which I so eloquently replied: "Fuck you talkin bout?" (again, HURT)
"You ain't with somebody are you?" "No" "Oh. I've been busy. My daughter's in town. blahblahblahblah I'm off tomorrow blahblahblahblah if you wanna get up blahblahblahblah" "Ok"   I have no idea what he said to get off the phone, or what I said in return. You know, looking back at that- that was really weird. And awkward.  But those two words best define my lackluster love life.

   Well. The reason why I spent the time typing up this lengthy post is...as you can guess from the title, this is my last post to this blog. I'm going to create another blog that's going to get more in-depth (as if this blog wasn't already pretty open) with the person who I am and who I want to be. Truth is, I'm about to be 25 and I still feel as if I'm just lost in the world sometimes, ya know? Anyway. I would like to take the time to thank all 1.75 of my devoted readers. If you are interested about reading my new blog, just email me at yumm24u@gmail.com Don't worry- that isn't the email address I put on my resume.

Loves and Like Ya! And I really do mean it.

Another Case Against Marriage

   I meant to blog about this a while ago. Before that whole drama happened with the pills, Carmen was talking about taking me to this reggae spot and Terrell was all excited at the possibility of having me tipsy and windin up on him. SMDH. We were going to go on a Friday but I had to switch my plans up to save my vacay hours for the trips I have coming up. So the following Thursday, Carmen calls Terrell to see if he can lend her $20. He said he was broke. So tell me why he comes up to the job- fresh haircut, fresh outfit, and- the icing on the cake- a rented Dodge Challenger. Carmen and I are looking at each other like- WTF?

   Carmen asks him, "Whatchu got the car for?" He replies, "Just wanted to get it." Carmen says, "Oh, now I see why you ain't got 20 dollars to give me." He answers, "My wife got the car for me." Upon further conversation, I deducted that he got the car so we all can have something nice to roll up in when we go to the car. Let that be read as: he got the car to show off. Chile PUHLEEZE! Not impressed!

   How in the world you get your WIFE to pay for a rental car that you're using to pull OTHER CHICKS? Where they do that at?! Apparently, Charlotte. LOL. If this guy isn't a straight up dawg....

Loves and Likes Ya!

Umm Chelle...

Shay: What are you listening to?
Me: You don't know nothin bout this girl.
Shay: Clearly not.
Me: Wait for it....
(Bass Drops)
Shay: Aww shit now!



Doing that final stretch of the drive home, I needed something to keep me up. I turned to 3OH!3- one of my guilty pleasure albums. I love them because they're like the love child of Lil Jon and Fred Durst. Shay called to see how far along I was from home and how I was doing when she heard the beginnings of the song. Of course she wanted to know who in the sam hill I was listening to and I knew she would fall in love with it once the bass dropped- and I was right! lol. It does knock quite nicely in the car.
**This is just a fan made video by the way**

Loves and Likes Ya

Thelma and Louise Strikes Again!

Playing on the car stereo: I'm a tiger in the bedroom ask your baby boo

Shara: I can't really see Gucci being ANYBODY'S tiger in ANYBODY'S bedroom.
Me: Get out of my head! I was JUST thinking the same thing!
Shara: I wonder what kind of animal WOULD he be?
Me: Probably Smokey the Bear.
Shara: Who's Smokey the Beal?
Me: You know, only you can prevent forest fires.

Ice Cold

Busted!

Todd: Uh-oh, what's wrong Lala?
Me: Nothing, just here.
Todd: I know what's up. You got a midnight LOVA! (me thinking to myself: WHAA??? Who did I tell?) I know you get off of work, hop in that white dodge *****, thinkin' to yourself, "Shooot, I'm finna get me some. I'mma find me somethin to do in this boring ass city" (insert my silent giggle here) Be creepin home 4:45 in the morning (more like 5:13, but hey close enough) I know you La. You got one persona you use for church and work, but then you got your other persona, that's why I call you Lala from around the way.
Me: I have no idea what you're talkin about
Todd (giving me the nigga please look):Umm-Hmm. Just remember to get your rest before you come into work. (walks away laughing to himself)

So I Was Thinking...

   Are you one of those women who think their vagina is special? No, really. Do you think that your Ms. Kitty is so good that you have your man in check? I've never been that girl. Probably because I always felt like I could be replaced anyway. We won't dive into my issues but insight to my mother's past has made me into the bitter young woman I am today.
   Now I remember- I was reading a book (She Ain't The One by my two fave authors- Carl Weber and Mary B Morrison) in which the main character puts up with this chick who thought her sex was the bomb. She was mistaken. And that made me wonder how many times has that happened? How many times have you (whether you're a girl or guy) thought you had the best sex in your life? I'm talking about afterwards you're all sweaty, joints a little achy, breathing is kinda shallow, and you're slowly slipping into a comatose state but it's okay because you just KNOW that you Put.It.Down. But what if your partner disagrees? What if they think there was nothing spectacular about the episode? How would you feel?
   Yes there is a difference between making love and having sex. Sex is such a selfish act. You're doing what makes you feel good. Doing whatever helps you achieve euphoria. Now I know that there are some people who are selfless lovers, they get a rush from having their partners climb walls and break beds. What if it was a show?
   I'm asking these questions because they've been on my mind. Like I wrote earlier- I've never been the one to brag about my sexual prowess just because- people lie. I mean, giving oral sex is my gift to my partner but when it comes down to actual vaginal intercourse- I concentrate on my personal satisfaction.  Have I had a partner who thought they dicked me down to the point of paralysis when it was far from the truth? Yes. Fortunately I can count on one hand how many times that has happened. Well come to think of it, that was only D's crazy ass always with a damn point to prove. SMH. Anywho, just thinking, I know it's random.

Drake- Brand New. Perfect Song for the post. I even picked the video version with the lyrics flashing across the screen so you can have clarification! Yes, you are welcome. lol
 

Loves and Likes Ya=> hope the feeling is reciprocated

Night of Quotables

   Tonight was best described as the most hilarious and disfunctional game night I've had in a while. Carmen, David, Jamie, and I played the new edition Monopoly with the electronic banker. FUN. I'll just do some highlights:

Jamie (picking up the boomerang piece): What the f*ck is this? A big dick? F*ck it- call me Big Dick PLAYAAAA!

Carmen (pointing to a tattoo on her upper arm): This is my ex fiancee. He passed away. I farted in his mouth

David: My motto is- In my world, the girl comes 3 or 4 times before I do.
Jamie: Well my motto is- if I can't knock the bottom, I'll bang the hell out of the sides

Jamie: I got it all planned out. I'm going to be fresh out the shower with water running from my chest pubes to my ball fro and she's gonna grab me by the weiner...because she wants me

   Gosh, I know there's more but I just can't remember. I'm a bit distracted, I had some Boone's Farm and Will is calling me now. SMH. I get a text from David- trying to get me to come back over there. Then Will texts me wanting to know what I'm doing and Steve texts me asking the same damn thing. I'm blogging this shit then I'm going to bed while watching King of the Hill. SHIT. I'm good for the night. I'm not replying or answering SHIT.

Loves and Likes Ya!

Something For Your Ears

I've been vibing with some songs lately. Let's start with:

Big Boi ft George Clinton & Too Short- For Yo Sorrows. Can I confess and say that I haven't even listened to the verses like that but the chorus is sooo sick! "...As I sit back in my chair, and smile from ear to ear with a fistful of your girlfriend's hair, yes she'll blow one tonight, for your sorrows."


Next is Ms. Teairra Mari. You couldn't tell me that she wasn't gonna kill it. So how did Rihannia get to this status while Ms. Mari is left on the curb? Dunno, but this mixtape is hot and this is one of my fave frivolous tracks. Teairra Mari ft Movado: Coins


Next on the club tip is Shanell from Young Money. Her stuff makes you want to dance and her mixtape is fire as well. Here goes Work Dat ft Mika Means! FYI: Please know that I am pouting because my top choice for this album, Me N My ft Eve, is nowhere to be found on YouTube so I can't share :(


Hey. Do you remember Jin? Won 106 & Park's Freestyle Friday a couple of years ago? Asian dude? Didn't think you'd remember. Well he released a mixtape that was pretty damn decent. Here goes a good one. Hard.


And while we're on rappers with different ethnicities, let's go to my fave group The Otherside. Fave tracks: (3)Let Me Show You, (6)Good Lookin' Ugly Girl and (7) the OOHLA=>This track is a beast. So poetic with it as he describes the song as if it's a lover. Niiiiice!



If you enjoy Dwele and Musiq and Jill, you will enjoy my boy Eric Roberson. Indie artist with a biiiiiig following. He wrote one of my fave Musiq tracks called Previouscats. This song, Only For You, is so sweet. It makes me smile everytime I listen to it.

 
And for the final one. Let's cross some genres. Plasticines- B.I.T.C.H. Song is TKA- Totally Kick Ass! lol

 
Loves and Likes Ya!

Sorry. I know I said it was the last one, but after mentioning this song, I HAD to post it! Musiq Soulchild- Previouscats. LISTEN to this song. It's on some serious grown man sh*t and I know plenty of people who can relate. Roberson lyrics are genius and hear him doing the background vocals. HEEEEY! Okay. I'm gone for real this time. ♥

Umm, Excuse Me? Are We Hating?!

   I've been trying to get my overtime hours like CRAZY! It seems as if the planets are aligning. After looking at apartment after apartment after apartment, Shara and I found a community that we both really really like and the price is looking right. Shara just got a dream job with this major health care system and me? Well, no new jobs for me but maybe a job possibility. Trina just accepted a position at her college, if all goes well with her training, she's going to quit. Shay will be bumped up to housekeeping manager and I will be assistant. Trina thinks it will be a good idea. Shay doesn't. I wasn't expecting that at all. I thought she would've been like, "Yeah gurl, C'mon to tha back of da house!"
   Talking with Trina, I found out that Shay has been on some other stuff as of late.Trina is housekeeping manager and Shay and Anjail are her assistants. Anjail is fully involved with her school schedule and can't commit to the job as much as she could during the summer. I remembered Shay saying something to me a couple of months ago about why Anjail can't come to the job during breaks in her schedule like Trina did. I had to explain it to her as nicely as possible (because she's on the sensitive side. She'll dish it, but can't take it) 1st: Trina is a manager, this is her career. That means she will have to make certain sacrifices. Anjail doesn't want to be in the hospitality industry. Chick is tryna be a doctor. Why stress over the unnecessary? 2nd: Trina's school is only 15 minutes away. Anjail's school is a good 25 mins away- and that's on a good day. Who will waste gas and bust ass for an hour break? Makes no sense!
   So anyway- like I was saying- Trina and I were talking, and she was telling me about Shay's complaining about Anjail. Trina told her to stop it. Then Shay was upset because Anjail went to DC with some of her old college roomates and didn't invite her. She was upset because she felt as if Anjail thought that she's not "educated" or "refined" enough to be around her college friends. NEWS FLASH: She didn't invite me EITHER! My feelings weren't hurt. Anjail hasn't seen her friends in a while and wanted to do something before the semester started. What we look like busting up in their reunion? Chile BOO!
   But again, Shay has always been sensitive like that. When I started going out with Carmen, she was upset that I didn't invite her. Carmen and Shay are cordial to one another- but that's about it. Why would I make the situation uncomfortable for the both of them? I thought she was kidding or something at first but she was SERIOUSLY mad about it! Let's see if this makes sense: 1st: Carmen and Shay don't get along like that. 2nd: They wouldn't be able to be themselves and have fun. 3rd: Shay has to be at work like 6 and 7 in the morning. 4th: She needs a babysitter for her baby. Me and Carmen don't really plan our happenings. It's more like: Me: I can go for a drink, you down? Carmen: Yeah girl. Let me wash my ass first though.
   But where is the love?  Going back to the subject of why black women can't be friends. One of the reasons, jealousy. It's ugly y'all! Shay may just be going through some things now or something. I'm sure everything will be okay once she's okay.

Loves and Like Ya!=> but don't you dare try to bring me down.

While At Work

Carmen: Don't nobody wanna be here. If I can find a way to sell some ass, I'd do it.

Celebration and A Tragedy Pt III

     Carmen left work early, planning on packing up the rest of her stuff so by the time I got off, we can just pack up my car and take her to Joyce. Once I got off, I went home to change and swung by Carmen's where she was sitting outside with Joyce and Terrell. All three of them drinking beers and smoking ciggies and talking shit. You really have no choice but to talk shit with Terrell because the words that come out of his mouth is pure ignorance. Like he's impressing me- ChileBOO! Carmen's like, "She ain't thinkin bout chu boy. She too good for you anyways." That kinda hurt his feelings, but he's a big boy. So Carmen and Terrell are arguing because Bruchon is Terrell's buddy as well and he can't wanna believe that his boy is changing postions.

"It's one thing if it was just assumptions but why is my jar of vaseline open? And why does it have a big ol hole in it from someone digging the hell out of it?" Mmhmm. Case Closed.

     We drop the things off at Joyce and Carmen doesn't want to sit around depressed to we go to WW where we meet this character of a man who keeps us in stitches the whole night. He's reading people right to left and clowning people left to right. I'm not sure when it was that I noticed Carmen was drunk (I promise that I only had 2 drinks myself and had juice the rest of the night) but she was. And Terrell was finally talking sense when he pulled me to the side and said, "Babygirl being drunk and feeling depressed ain't good at all. She doesn't need to be by herself." We went on ahead and bounced her out of there. She was begging to go back to her place but none of us wanted her to be alone. Especially since she said something about ending the pain.
     Terrell got his car from Joyce's and I tried to get Carmen out of the car but she wasn't budging. I told her she was either gonna be at Joyce's or she was gonna be at my house. She HATED the idea of going to my house because she didn't want my parents to see her like this. I told her I can careless what she WANTED to do because she didn't NEED to be by herself. Then she said she didn't want to stay at Joyce's because she has rats. Rats? Joyce's place is spic and flippin span. I just chalked that up to her being drunk and making excuses. Finally I suggested she go to her place but have somebody spend the night. Since she had a court date in the morning that Joyce was going to accompany her, I made the call and asked Joyce if she wanted to stay at Carmen's. She basically said no. Her exact words were, "Well, Chelle, I don't feel like leaving my house right now. Carmen will be okay. She just needs to..."and I blocked out the rest of her simple ass response. The chick lives WALKING DISTANCE from Carmen. I knew she wasn't THAT damn comfortable yet. I knew what I had to do so I got her up off the phone and told Carmen I'll be right back. I live 5 minutes aways from her so I was just gonna go home, grab some clothes and a toothbrush, then go get some food since I was hungry. It didn't work out like that once Joyce called me.

"Uh, Chelle, Carmen, uh, she just called me and uh told me that she uh took 15 Benedryl."
"WHAT?!"
"I asked uh, I asked if she was sure and uh, she said uh she said she took the rest of the uh bottle. Where are you? You think you can check on her?"

    I promise I wanted to reach through that phone and smack her. It took her entirely too long to tell me what happened and once she did tell me what happened, she kept repeating it. I think I hung up on her. I was very upset. First: because I ignored my gut feeling. I should've NEVER left her alone. But I did, because I can empathize. We've all been in situations where it's good to be with friends but sometimes you just want to cry in the dark by yourself while listening to the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack -whoops, personal experience, lol - so I figured that me getting my stuff and getting something to eat will give her enough personal time before I invaded her place. And she promised me not to do anything stupid. Second: she has no family down here. Hardly no friends. Me, Joyce, and Terrell. And see how that worked out? Joyce is too comfortable at home to check on her "best friend"? If this wasn't the saddest thing... I was in tears. Because nobody deserves anything like that. I got there and she was walking around. We went outside where she lit a cigarette and I asked her what the hell was on her mind. She doesn't like to depend on anybody. She hates him for doing this to her. She hates him for lying to her. She might as well die because she has nothing to live for. I told her that she needs to stop talking crazy and that GOD didn't cure her from her cancer just so she can throw her life away. Then I tried to get her in my car so we can go to the ER but she wasn't having it. I called her mom and let her try to talk some sense into Carmen. I don't think that was the best idea, because I heard the mom call Carmen 'loca' and 'estupida' repeatedly. I took the phone and promised to call the mom if anything happens. By the time I got off with the mom, Carmen was back inside and she was laying on the bed. I called the paramedics and got her in the hospital. A couple of hours later, she's fine. Yeah- I freaked out- but I'm the first to admit that in a crisis, you gonna have to give me a minute to get my thoughts together.

Loves and Likes Ya=> Really. I do.

Celebration and a Tragedy Pt II

     Still riding high from my FABULOUS Tuesday night, Wednesday came and went. Thursday started off better as I got my lazy bones up early and handled a lot of business before my shift. I picked Carmen up and was chattering away, not even noticing her one word responses. It wasn't until she wearily asked, "Chelle, if I tell you something, can you promise not to tell?" that I realized something was wrong. I was about to give her the, "Now YOU KNOW" look but one quick glance at her red eyes and I hurried up and parked the car in a parking lot.
   "What is it?" I asked, as the worst automatically came across my mind. But I know she didn't have her checkup yet, so the possibility of the news being cancer was small. "Did something happen to your mom? Is it Bruchon?"
   "Yes girl." And as she told me the events, I couldn't possibly have guessed it in a million years. The story seemed to have come out of the latest Zane book I read (The Hot Box. GREAT read by the way) and I handed her plenty of tissues as she poured out her disbelief.
     In short: Carmen told her boyfriend the night before that she was gonna stay at the job since she did breakfast and has to turn around and do the sundowner later. She decided to come on home anyway since the beds weren't that comfortable for her. When she got to her apartment building, she noticed a strange car parked in front of her door. She knocked on the door as she looked for her keys but no one answered. She finally found her keys and walked inside to find Bruchon sitting on the couch .
   "You ain't hear me knock?" She asked him. He had a dumb look on his face as he shook his head no. She asked what he was doing and he said nothing. She went to the bedroom and he followed her, she noticed the bathroom door was closed. She walked around to the other entrance of the bathroom, with Bruchon still on her heels. She tried to open the door but someone was holding the doorknob from the other side.
   "Who the fuck is in the bathroom?" She asked as she tried to get in. "Nobody" Bruchon responded, watching her get upset. She finally got the door open and what did she see? A man dressed only in boxers. She looked from one man to another and wheels began to turn in her head, taking in the wet shower curtain, the open jar of Vaseline on the counter, and both men in boxers. "What the fuck is goin on?" She asked, looking at the other guy putting on his clothes. "Nothin man. He was sick." Bruchon answered. "No nigga, YOU sick. I can't believe you a fuckin faggot! 7 fuckin years and you wanna be a fuckin fag!?" And that's when all hell broke loose. Bruchon flew out the door with his pants in his hands, diving into the guy's car. Carmen got a couple of licks in on the other guy before he left.

     "I'm gonna be okay though Chelle. It just hurts. We've been together for 8 years. We've been down here together for 7. We all we got down here and he does this shit? We're not just boyfriend, girlfriend, we're best friends. It makes me wonder if he was always like this. You know what I'm thinkin now? I wonder if the first time he cheated on me, if it was with another man. Huh. A fuckin faggot. I packed all my stuff up though. I'm gonna live with Joyce. I can't be in the same house with him. I gotta a good check comin up. If I work some more hours, the check after that should be good and I can have my own place in a month."
    
     And just like that, I thought she was good to go. I mean- not TOTALLY good to go, because that is a traumatic experience- but she seemed to be a woman with a plan and that's good right? Or so I would've thought.

I Can't Believe You Work Next Door

     After work Tuesday night, I was gonna drop by the grocery store and buy a bottle of moscato to drink while watching The Golden Girls. (don't laugh, that show is the business) The closer I got to the store though, the more pathetic the idea seemed. Then I remembered that Royal Flush shots were on special at the WW so I swung by. The bar was kinda crowded but I found a seat next to this white guy. All I saw was a head of thick black hair. He spun around and HOT DAMN- if it wasn't a guest from the hotel. I shook my head and said aloud, "Dammit! I just can't leave my work at WORK!" He gave me a flirtatious grin and said- "Well, what're the odds?" Don't worry, you guys aren't missing any back story. He was just one of many guests who I exchanged inappropriate remarks with. So we did some small talk and I found out that he's not actually at my hotel this go-round but he crashed our Sundowner anyway. Sitting beside him was the front desk clerk from the hotel beside mine. I knew he looked vaguely familiar and he confirmed my suspicions when he reminded me that I went over there a couple of weeks ago to ask for change. He's a cutie, but I guess since he's like RIDICULOUSLY clap on/clap off bright, he didn't register in my memory bank. It was a good night as we chatted and drank and drank and chatted. The whole time Will, from the hotel next door, kept saying- "You're cool as shit. I can't believe you work next door." Like there was some doubt that I'm cool? Pssshaaaaw.
     Somehow, I wound up giving him a ride home and...he wound up giving ME a ride home! LMAO. It really isn't funny. I'm such a flippin slut, it's ridiculous. But I tell ya what- that was some Grade A+++. And the funny part was as he worked his stroke game- he kept saying, "I can't believe you work next door."

Loves and Likes Ya=> especially if you work next door, lmfao!

The Day After...

Me: U kno what I was thinkn? & i kno its hella random, but i wonder if we did karaoke to bia bia, would the crowd have gotten hype?
Shara: Yeah, that is random. Im not even gonna ask what made u think that. but i dunno, they mightve rocked wit it a lil

Celebration and A Tragedy PT I

     Carmen celebrated her last day of radiation therapy Thursday before last with a shindig at The Sandtrap. She did it up with a long jet black wig, silver lipstick to match her silver shirt and shoes, and a mole colored on the upper left side of her lip. Me, Shara, David, Jamie, Dre, and Carmen's man Bruchon were all there helping her celebrate with rounds of Apple Pie shots and playing pool and darts. After 2 shots of Apple Pie and 3 shots of Pixie Stixx, I summoned up enough courage to do karaoke to Naughty Girl by Beyonce and dedicate the performance to Carmen. We all had fun. Shara and I with our seemingly never ending game of pool (since neither one of us can be qualified as pool sharks, we were ridiculousy taunted by the others saying, "is this STILL the same game?") Carmen, Dre, David and Jamie were playing darts, and Bruchon stayed mute while watching the game on the big screen.
     We took the festivities outside and tried to play cornhole. That game is SOOO not the business. But I know I'm biased since I can't play the game worth-a-shit. We went back inside to dance to some of the music from the funky fresh DJ and encourage the other people doing karaoke. I went back up to the stage for round 2, dragging Shara with me so she can accompany. I told the overweight, bald, biker looking, white guy that I wanted to sing Fergalicious. He rolls his eyes and say, "OmiGOD!" "What?" I ask him, thinking that he was making fun of my selection. "That's only my most FAVORITE song!" He exclaimed. I still thought he was making fun of me, until the beat came on and he transformed into Will.I.Am.  TOO. FUNNY. He was rocking it y'all! We all danced, and danced, and DANCED! I woke up the next morning, thighs feeling stronger than a mug- heels are so not the business. I say the funniest part of the night was when Carmen was backing it up on Jamie. Somehow Jamie lost his balance, going down to the ground with Carmen following. Do you know this chick had a beer bottle in each hand and didn't spill a single sip as she proceeded to fall on her ass. ONE BEER BOTTLE IN EACH HAND and she DID NOT spill a SINGLE SIP! We had a great time for sure. I would've never guessed that the very next week, we would be crying instead of dancing...

Hey Carmen,

Me:...You ever had sex with a white man before?
Carmen: Yeah. Can't do it no more.
Me: Why? How was it?
Carmen: It was alright. They have small ding dongs though.
Me: What?
Carmen: You like Vienna sausages?

LMAOOOOOOOOO. Boy Carmen has a way with words.

Loves and Likes Ya

YAY! My Baby Is Back!

After all the virus hoopla, my poor Dell just wasn't performing the same. Yeah, she went through the motions, but her performance was lagging and little by little- she broke down on me. It got to the point when I just tossed it on the bed in front of my dad and said, "Please fix this before I BREAK this." A whole 2 weeks later (yeah my dad be on that CP time with fixing my stuff. I don't care all that much though since if I was anyone else, I'd have to pay out the ass for this kind of service.) she's back! Updated with Windows 7 and purring like a kitten with a tummy full of milk. New posts coming this weekend.

Loves and Likes Ya=> just like I LOVES and LIKES my new & improved Dell!

SMH

You know what? Reading some of my past posts? LMFAO! Helps me realize just how CRAZY I am! I mean, I now understand why some most of my friends say that I have no sense. Because I don't! And moving on...

So, it's a Thursday night and I'm back at the ol' watering hole. Feeling good off a vodka/cranberry/orange juice and one malibu and coke. From across the bar a guy winks at me and motions to buy me a drink. I nod my head yes (because who in their right mind will turn down a free drink?) and he makes his way to the empty seat beside me. Sitting down, he introduces himself to me as Steve, and shakes my hand. I tell him my real name (lol) and we talk some.

Steve: So is your boyfriend a big man?
Me: Yeah. He's 7'4" and 400 lbs.
Steve:Well, it was nice talking to ya. (gets up and leave)

I admit, that threw me off guard. He's just gonna LEAVE? I don't even HAVE a boyfriend! I chuckled to myself and finished drinking my free malibu and coke. Steve catches my eye again and makes a "come hither" motion with his hands. I shake my head no just as Mr. Married Man came up to me. Me and him (MMM) walked outside for a bit so he can smoke his ciggie and we can catch up. Things weren't awkward, which was good. He asked where Carmen was and told me he saw her at the train station with her man. Then he asked how I was doing, because apparently it looks like I'm going through it?

MMM: So what's up Chelle? You lookin kinda...
Me: Well damn, and here I was thinking I looked kinda cute. I mean, I wouldn't necessarily kick myself out of the bed.
MMM (laughs then takes a drag): Nah ma, you know you're sexy as hell. I'm lookin in your eyes though. I know it ain't men problems. (I give him the- "NOW YOU KNOW" look) 99 problems but a nigga ain't one, hunh?
Me: Exactly.

MMM's phone goes off and I go back inside before any plans can be made. Steve is still at the bar and nodding his head at me. I tab out and make my way towards him.

Steve: Your boyfriend won't get jealous that I'm talking to you, will he?
Me: Yes.
Steve: Let him get jealous. I know dude ain't hittin it right anyway. How old are you?
Me: 24. How old are you?
Steve: Old enough. (let that be read as over 30 definitely)
Me: I don't have a boyfriend
Steve: You ain't got no boyfriend? (I shake my head no) Well I know you got boy toys then
Me: And what makes you think that?
Steve: Cuz I know. (He gives me a long lingering look) But after we hook up, you can't be stalking me. I got a job and shit.
Me: Is that right?
Steve: Girl don't you know? I'm a Scorpio. You know what that means?
Me: No. Please enlighten me (of course I know. Scorpi-HO)
Steve: That means I'm a FREAK. I'll lick you EVERYWHERE. Girl, I'll lick your EYEBROWS....TWICE!
(Sorry, tried to hold it, but exploded with a loud laugh that caught everyone at the bar's attention) And I love to eat pussy. These young guys out here (he has to be at least 10 yrs older than me with that statement) do it because they feel they have to. I do it because I love it. Choke me with your thighs. Smother me until I can't breathe. Let me up for air for 5 seconds then push my head back down. I love that shit.

Have I mentioned that I've been drinking?! Numbers where exchanged.

Loves and Likes Ya!

I Have A Date?

I KNOOOOOW!!! Stop rolling your eyes. It just came as a surprise. It happened Thursday night. I was going to get some drinks since I got off of work early. What was supposed to be me, Carmen, Shara, David, and Kevin turned out to be just me and David. Kinda. Awkward. We started off at Wild Wing where I ran into Mr. Married Man and Mr. Last Thursday Night (YIKES) We stayed out there for maybe 30 minutes before we went to this hole in the wall pool hall with really good, really strong drinks. There were some curious glances in our direction, as I imagined they probably thought he paid for my company for the night, lol. Just kidding. Kinda. I had on a black v-neck t-shirt with a sequined rock n roll design, jeans, and black wedge heels. I managed to stuff my hair into a black newsboy cap and topped the look off with big silver hoops and a silver necklace. I don't THINK I looked like paid company *shrugs shoulders* but since he is an older white man who actually looks like an older white man not like- Paul Wall or something- we did look an odd couple. We still had some fun though. He let me get away with some cheating moves on the pool table, and applauded me with gusto when I did karaoke to "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood (damn I love a song where a girl gets revenge on a cheating asshole boyfriend) I was dropping him off and parked right beside this monster of a truck. Come to find out- it belongs to him! Oh I LOVE a big ol' diesel looking pickup truck. I just want to get behind the wheel and run people off of the road with it or something. I expressed my feelings about his truck and he says- wait for it- "Well, maybe I can take you for a ride in it. We'll go to dinner."

GASP!

Was that a dinner invitation? I mean, I know it's a dinner invitation- but is it a date DATE? Because I really don't know what to wear. There's only one thing I know for sure, I'm leaving the F*ck Me Pumps at home.

Loves and Likes Ya!

***UPDATE***
I just found out he wants to take me to this Cajun place that's like 20 minutes from our side of town. I'm adding up the minutes and...that's a whole bunch of conversation I'm gonna have to make from out my ass. DAMN.