So I Was Thinking...

   Are you one of those women who think their vagina is special? No, really. Do you think that your Ms. Kitty is so good that you have your man in check? I've never been that girl. Probably because I always felt like I could be replaced anyway. We won't dive into my issues but insight to my mother's past has made me into the bitter young woman I am today.
   Now I remember- I was reading a book (She Ain't The One by my two fave authors- Carl Weber and Mary B Morrison) in which the main character puts up with this chick who thought her sex was the bomb. She was mistaken. And that made me wonder how many times has that happened? How many times have you (whether you're a girl or guy) thought you had the best sex in your life? I'm talking about afterwards you're all sweaty, joints a little achy, breathing is kinda shallow, and you're slowly slipping into a comatose state but it's okay because you just KNOW that you Put.It.Down. But what if your partner disagrees? What if they think there was nothing spectacular about the episode? How would you feel?
   Yes there is a difference between making love and having sex. Sex is such a selfish act. You're doing what makes you feel good. Doing whatever helps you achieve euphoria. Now I know that there are some people who are selfless lovers, they get a rush from having their partners climb walls and break beds. What if it was a show?
   I'm asking these questions because they've been on my mind. Like I wrote earlier- I've never been the one to brag about my sexual prowess just because- people lie. I mean, giving oral sex is my gift to my partner but when it comes down to actual vaginal intercourse- I concentrate on my personal satisfaction.  Have I had a partner who thought they dicked me down to the point of paralysis when it was far from the truth? Yes. Fortunately I can count on one hand how many times that has happened. Well come to think of it, that was only D's crazy ass always with a damn point to prove. SMH. Anywho, just thinking, I know it's random.

Drake- Brand New. Perfect Song for the post. I even picked the video version with the lyrics flashing across the screen so you can have clarification! Yes, you are welcome. lol
 

Loves and Likes Ya=> hope the feeling is reciprocated

Celebration and A Tragedy Pt III

     Carmen left work early, planning on packing up the rest of her stuff so by the time I got off, we can just pack up my car and take her to Joyce. Once I got off, I went home to change and swung by Carmen's where she was sitting outside with Joyce and Terrell. All three of them drinking beers and smoking ciggies and talking shit. You really have no choice but to talk shit with Terrell because the words that come out of his mouth is pure ignorance. Like he's impressing me- ChileBOO! Carmen's like, "She ain't thinkin bout chu boy. She too good for you anyways." That kinda hurt his feelings, but he's a big boy. So Carmen and Terrell are arguing because Bruchon is Terrell's buddy as well and he can't wanna believe that his boy is changing postions.

"It's one thing if it was just assumptions but why is my jar of vaseline open? And why does it have a big ol hole in it from someone digging the hell out of it?" Mmhmm. Case Closed.

     We drop the things off at Joyce and Carmen doesn't want to sit around depressed to we go to WW where we meet this character of a man who keeps us in stitches the whole night. He's reading people right to left and clowning people left to right. I'm not sure when it was that I noticed Carmen was drunk (I promise that I only had 2 drinks myself and had juice the rest of the night) but she was. And Terrell was finally talking sense when he pulled me to the side and said, "Babygirl being drunk and feeling depressed ain't good at all. She doesn't need to be by herself." We went on ahead and bounced her out of there. She was begging to go back to her place but none of us wanted her to be alone. Especially since she said something about ending the pain.
     Terrell got his car from Joyce's and I tried to get Carmen out of the car but she wasn't budging. I told her she was either gonna be at Joyce's or she was gonna be at my house. She HATED the idea of going to my house because she didn't want my parents to see her like this. I told her I can careless what she WANTED to do because she didn't NEED to be by herself. Then she said she didn't want to stay at Joyce's because she has rats. Rats? Joyce's place is spic and flippin span. I just chalked that up to her being drunk and making excuses. Finally I suggested she go to her place but have somebody spend the night. Since she had a court date in the morning that Joyce was going to accompany her, I made the call and asked Joyce if she wanted to stay at Carmen's. She basically said no. Her exact words were, "Well, Chelle, I don't feel like leaving my house right now. Carmen will be okay. She just needs to..."and I blocked out the rest of her simple ass response. The chick lives WALKING DISTANCE from Carmen. I knew she wasn't THAT damn comfortable yet. I knew what I had to do so I got her up off the phone and told Carmen I'll be right back. I live 5 minutes aways from her so I was just gonna go home, grab some clothes and a toothbrush, then go get some food since I was hungry. It didn't work out like that once Joyce called me.

"Uh, Chelle, Carmen, uh, she just called me and uh told me that she uh took 15 Benedryl."
"WHAT?!"
"I asked uh, I asked if she was sure and uh, she said uh she said she took the rest of the uh bottle. Where are you? You think you can check on her?"

    I promise I wanted to reach through that phone and smack her. It took her entirely too long to tell me what happened and once she did tell me what happened, she kept repeating it. I think I hung up on her. I was very upset. First: because I ignored my gut feeling. I should've NEVER left her alone. But I did, because I can empathize. We've all been in situations where it's good to be with friends but sometimes you just want to cry in the dark by yourself while listening to the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack -whoops, personal experience, lol - so I figured that me getting my stuff and getting something to eat will give her enough personal time before I invaded her place. And she promised me not to do anything stupid. Second: she has no family down here. Hardly no friends. Me, Joyce, and Terrell. And see how that worked out? Joyce is too comfortable at home to check on her "best friend"? If this wasn't the saddest thing... I was in tears. Because nobody deserves anything like that. I got there and she was walking around. We went outside where she lit a cigarette and I asked her what the hell was on her mind. She doesn't like to depend on anybody. She hates him for doing this to her. She hates him for lying to her. She might as well die because she has nothing to live for. I told her that she needs to stop talking crazy and that GOD didn't cure her from her cancer just so she can throw her life away. Then I tried to get her in my car so we can go to the ER but she wasn't having it. I called her mom and let her try to talk some sense into Carmen. I don't think that was the best idea, because I heard the mom call Carmen 'loca' and 'estupida' repeatedly. I took the phone and promised to call the mom if anything happens. By the time I got off with the mom, Carmen was back inside and she was laying on the bed. I called the paramedics and got her in the hospital. A couple of hours later, she's fine. Yeah- I freaked out- but I'm the first to admit that in a crisis, you gonna have to give me a minute to get my thoughts together.

Loves and Likes Ya=> Really. I do.

Celebration and a Tragedy Pt II

     Still riding high from my FABULOUS Tuesday night, Wednesday came and went. Thursday started off better as I got my lazy bones up early and handled a lot of business before my shift. I picked Carmen up and was chattering away, not even noticing her one word responses. It wasn't until she wearily asked, "Chelle, if I tell you something, can you promise not to tell?" that I realized something was wrong. I was about to give her the, "Now YOU KNOW" look but one quick glance at her red eyes and I hurried up and parked the car in a parking lot.
   "What is it?" I asked, as the worst automatically came across my mind. But I know she didn't have her checkup yet, so the possibility of the news being cancer was small. "Did something happen to your mom? Is it Bruchon?"
   "Yes girl." And as she told me the events, I couldn't possibly have guessed it in a million years. The story seemed to have come out of the latest Zane book I read (The Hot Box. GREAT read by the way) and I handed her plenty of tissues as she poured out her disbelief.
     In short: Carmen told her boyfriend the night before that she was gonna stay at the job since she did breakfast and has to turn around and do the sundowner later. She decided to come on home anyway since the beds weren't that comfortable for her. When she got to her apartment building, she noticed a strange car parked in front of her door. She knocked on the door as she looked for her keys but no one answered. She finally found her keys and walked inside to find Bruchon sitting on the couch .
   "You ain't hear me knock?" She asked him. He had a dumb look on his face as he shook his head no. She asked what he was doing and he said nothing. She went to the bedroom and he followed her, she noticed the bathroom door was closed. She walked around to the other entrance of the bathroom, with Bruchon still on her heels. She tried to open the door but someone was holding the doorknob from the other side.
   "Who the fuck is in the bathroom?" She asked as she tried to get in. "Nobody" Bruchon responded, watching her get upset. She finally got the door open and what did she see? A man dressed only in boxers. She looked from one man to another and wheels began to turn in her head, taking in the wet shower curtain, the open jar of Vaseline on the counter, and both men in boxers. "What the fuck is goin on?" She asked, looking at the other guy putting on his clothes. "Nothin man. He was sick." Bruchon answered. "No nigga, YOU sick. I can't believe you a fuckin faggot! 7 fuckin years and you wanna be a fuckin fag!?" And that's when all hell broke loose. Bruchon flew out the door with his pants in his hands, diving into the guy's car. Carmen got a couple of licks in on the other guy before he left.

     "I'm gonna be okay though Chelle. It just hurts. We've been together for 8 years. We've been down here together for 7. We all we got down here and he does this shit? We're not just boyfriend, girlfriend, we're best friends. It makes me wonder if he was always like this. You know what I'm thinkin now? I wonder if the first time he cheated on me, if it was with another man. Huh. A fuckin faggot. I packed all my stuff up though. I'm gonna live with Joyce. I can't be in the same house with him. I gotta a good check comin up. If I work some more hours, the check after that should be good and I can have my own place in a month."
    
     And just like that, I thought she was good to go. I mean- not TOTALLY good to go, because that is a traumatic experience- but she seemed to be a woman with a plan and that's good right? Or so I would've thought.

"Actually, I Did Get The Blue Light Special...

Me: ...but they didn't give me a ticket. It was crazy too, because I wasn't even sporting cleavage.
Malachi: Man I bet you never had to pay for a ticket in your life. Just flash a cop a tig ol bittie and nigga- you straight. I can't do that shit. I can't flash shit but a smile.

I knew I needed some drinks in me because it's been a rough day. Someone has been hacking into my e-mail and then subsequently hacking into my facebook. The culprit I suspected, the ex- D, called me at work- telling me his problems like I'm Dr. Phil. Too many guests needing too much stuff. Add that to the fact that no one wants to hire me, I can't take as many classes as I want to this semester because they didn't approve me for financial aid, and I desperately need to move out my parent's place. I'm feeling a bit down. Agitated and snappy are responses that come quick. I fb chat with Sauce about the hacking and ask him to have a drink with me. He's all responsible and whatnot, stating that he has work in the morning. BLAH BLEH BLUH. I get off chat with him and my phone is singing, "I'm addicted to you..you're my addiction" MALACHI! Perfect timing or WHAT?! I need a distraction. We go to -where else?- Wild Wing and I buy the first 2 rounds. We're talking about religion, work, tattoos, and other stupid stuff. Just what I needed, pleasant company and strong drinks. :)

Loves and Likes Ya!=> and I may love you even more if buy the next round (;P)

S.O.S. Part II

finally, part II

 We're leaving the gas station and it's obvious this fool, Loon, is drunk. He misjudges his u-turn and proceeds to hop a curb and maim a bush. Then he gets on the highway doing 85. Any bit of buzz I may have had was killed trying to focus on Speed Racer's drunk Asian cousin! After a maze of turns once we exited the highway, we finally turn into this beautiful community of town homes. Parking is pretty nonexistent so we park our cars at the community center and walk to the house. We go in and the first words out of Loon's mouth were,

"We ain't got no drinks or nothing but we can just chill."

Now me and Shara are looking at each other with the "WTF" faces. 

"So how y'all gon' invite us over for drinks when y'all ain't got none?" Shara asks. I co-sign the statement.

 "I'm saying though, we can just chill and whateva." Loon is saying, trying to get us to stay.

At this point, my stomach is feeling a little tight. Idk, it's a nervous thing I get whenever I know I'm going to be alone with a guy. It's been happening to me every since my first date with my first real boyfriend. So somehow we're on this small ass love seat, Shara and Eddie with me on the armrest, and we have the TV on. Loon is trying to get me up to his room. Shara is trying to get me to stay down in the living room. Eddie is trying to shoo me off to Loon so he can be with Shara alone. At this point, I'm just like- EFF IT, whatever happens, happens.
   I go upstairs and I sit on the bed, he follows. And we talk. And when I say we, I mean HE. Obviously he's one of those people who turn into talkers when they get drunk. He'll talk, I'll make a face, he'll get distracted and stop, I'd look at him, and he keeps talking. He's talking in circles. Telling me his life story but at the same time, not going into details- leaving me as lost as Paris Hilton in a Wal-Mart. Finally he takes a break and goes to the bathroom. During this silence I hear Shara fiercely whispering my name up the steps. I get up off the bed and see her halfway leaning up the stairs. She starts to ask me if I'm ready to go yet. I tell her yeah and just give me a little time to say goodbye to this nut. I go back to the room and he's getting out of the bathroom. I tell him I'm about to go and he's looking a little sad. He's making sure that he has my number in his phone (after about 4 failed attempts, he finally saves it under L lashel. Damn shame.) and he's inviting me to come back anytime so we can chill. He's placing sweet little kisses on my neck and on my cheek and I hear the fierce whisper of my name again. I ignore it and right when we go for the kiss on the lips, I hear my name being called again. But this time I stop, because the tone of this voice don't sound too good. Call it that sister intuition, but I knew something wasn't right. So I grab Loon and tell him to walk me to my car. The look on Shara's face is priceless. The look of a pissed-off sistagurl.
   When we get back into the car, Shara begins to relay the events that happened once Loon and I left the living room:

"Once y'all left, he turned into this HORNDOG! He began to rub his hands on my body and I'm like- You need to slow your roll and he's like- I can't help it, you're so sexy. And then he tries to kiss me. But he kisses like a big, slobbery, St. Bernard. I mean Kaycee (our miniature Schnauzer) can kiss better than him. So I'm steady pushing him off me and I get up from the sofa and head to the kitchen to get some air and a glass of water. He follows me to the kitchen and then proceeds to back me up and pick me up and put me on the counter top. And he's at it again. If it was anybody else, I would've been turned on but he's like too pushy and his skills are wack. And worst- he unzipped my pants and tried to eat me out. I'm like- What are you doing?! and he's like- I just gotta taste you. And I say- No you don't. Because I already knew that if he can't kiss my lips, he can't lick MY lips! So I just tell him that I gotta go to the bathroom and then that's when I start whispering your name and asked if you were ready to go. I mean, I didn't know what was going on up there with you two so I didn't want to cut any good times short."

"Girl, the only thing he was doing was telling me his life story like I was watching VH1 Behind the Music or something"

"You're a trip. So then after we talk, I go back to the living room and sit back on the couch and he's acting normal. And in the middle of our conversation, he's trying to stretch me out on the couch and he WHIPS HIS DICK OUT and that's when you heard me call your name again, I was scared that he was so drunk that he was gonna try to take it or something! I guess he realized my fears and got a grip of himself because he started apologizing."

"Wooooooow. I can't believe it! Eddie? Maaan. " PAUSE  "How big was he?"

"Gurrl, it was weak just like him!"

Gotta hear those S.O.S signals!

Loves and Likes Ya

S.O.S

Do I need to make a new label called Thirsty Thursdays? Because Wild Wing Wednesdays ain't even poppin' like that anymore. After I get off of work, Shara and I go to this pool hall called Yellow Rose. Talkin bout some thug nasty, nasty thugs? And some hoodrats? Maaaan.The playoff game was on and everyone was all extra hype after the Lakers won. Call us snobs, but we decided to leave after some local cat was spitting some crazy rhymes. And by crazy I mean crazy dumb. And what's worse? The chorus is stuck in my head:

"What you talkin is irrelavent, keep on talkin and Ima end up at your residence. Aww naww, you done messed up. Dippin in the mustard but you can't ketchup"

   I know right? Damn. So where do we go? Of course. Wild Wing. We sit at the bar and a couple of minutes later this cute dude bumps into the chair next to me. I asked him if he was alright because he was rubbing his chest. And he was like, "Yeah. I'm not even gonna lie, that shit hurts likes a bitch." And we both laugh. Shara is bumping my leg and giving me the green light to continue talking to dude. At first glance I couldn't really guess his nationality. Either Asian or Hispanic, hard to tell because the only accent he had was a northern one.  He nods at my vodka and cranberry and tells me that I should get the bartender to mix it with some pineapple juice, otherwise I'll wake up with a killer headache. I take his advice and it does taste a little smoother. Then he starts to ask why we came so late and I told him about us going to the Yellow Rose after I got off of work. I then ask where he's from and he's thinking I mean what's his nationality. But I tell him - yeah I would like to know your nationality, but I would also like to know if you stayed up north because I hear an accent (and even though I didn't tell him, the way he talks so animatedly with his hands is almost a dead giveaway of being a northerner). Turns out he was born in Vietnam and moved to the US with his aunt when he was 5. They lived in New York for a while then moved to Greensboro NC and finally Charlotte.
    Actually, it wasn't as plain cut as I've just stated. Homeboy almost gave me a full autobiography. He disappears for a minute and I get to turn to Shara where we squeal about how cute he is. I know, I know. We're such girls sometimes! lol. So she's wondering  what's taking me so long to get the number and find out if he has any friends that he can introduce to her. He comes back after a while and try to tab out. I tab out and tell him that we (Shara and I) are gonna sit on the patio and ask if he wants to come to come with. He says he'll join us in a lil bit.
   Much to Shara's delight, he brought a friend along, introduced himself as Eddie, and sits down at the table. It was then that I realized that I didn't even know homeboy's name. Loon. LOON! What kind of crazy name is that? The only thing I kept thinking about was that sexy rapper Loon from Bad Boy. You know..."How you want that? Tell me how you want that, daddy how you wanna give it to me? A bad boy is what I need" I know you remember that! We all chat for a while. It's quite obvious that Loon is faded. He asks me what we're getting into tonight. At this time it's about 2am and I'm thinking to myself, "What am I getting into tonight? Hell, I'm trying to get into my damn bed." It was a hard day at work y'all. But instead I tell him nothing and he invites me to his place for more drinks and just to "chill". I just kinda brushed it off. Maybe 10 minutes later I hear Eddie asking Shara the same thing. She tells him that she rode with me so it's really up to me. Oh Brother. Bathroom break.

Shara: Girl. What are we gonna do?
Me:  I dunno. They seem kinda harmless. What kinda name is Loon?
Shara: A sexy name, just like him. I mean, I do kinda want to go, ain't like I got anything else to do.
Me: What was up with Eddie studying your feet like a damn science project?
Shara: I know right? I knew you were kidding when you said it, but I think he DOES have a foot fetish. Girl. That man is 34 years old. Did Looney Tunes tell you how old HE was?
Me: Right. Along with his social security number and blood type. NO. He was all like "age ain't nothin but a number." Hell, he's probably 45 girl!
Shara: So we're going?
Me: What the hell. You got notches?
Shara: It's fully charged girl.
Me: Alright then.

   We all rendezvous at the gas station. Shara and I are still in my car, Loon goes inside the store. Eddie goes inside the store. Minutes are going by and we're trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Me: Maybe they're getting more drinks or something?
Shara: Yeah. Or maybe they're getting condoms.

Eddie leaves the store with nothing in his hand. Loon leaves the store with a bag of pork rinds.

Me and Shara: They got condoms.

This post is seeming long as hell y'all! And there's still more to the story. I'll conclude it tomorrow.

Loves and Likes Ya

Trouble, TROUBLE

   So it's Thursday and Joyce and Carmen and I wanted to get some drinks after work. Wild Wing here we come. $2 vodka drinks? Say word! Carmen gets the first two rounds and we take it outside to the patio, choosing to sit at a table with a black couple. Carmen is talking to the guy because the guy recognizes her and by default, recognizes me as well. Chile, I couldn't place his face to save my life but as he describes what happened that night of the initial meeting, I'm putting the pieces together. I laughed my ass off remembering how toasted Carmen was and how she violated his poor cousin. My good ol' buddy Antoine comes outside and sits down beside me, lighting up his cigarette and putting his beer down on the table. We exchanged pleasantries and I go to the bar to buy the next round of drinks. When I come back, Carmen is talking to the girl about how she just found out she has cervical cancer and her impending surgery. Yeah. Carmen has cancer, but luckily she caught it during the early stages so all she needs is a quick surgery. Thank God for small favors. Anyways, Carmen has everyone at the table in stitches as she talks about her dysfunctional relationship with her man. Girl is crazy y'all! She talks straight up shit to that man and he puts up with it. She's not as bad as Ms. Crazy with it though, but she still got him in check. So on the subject of men, Antoine asks me if I heard from D. I told him yeah- WAIT! Did I tell y'all though? Lemme check real quick...Nope. Sure didn't.
Well one night D called me while I was at work reading a good book at a good part. So he's talking but I'm not picking up on the voice, trying to figure out which guest this is and what the hell they want. I couldn't hide it anymore though so I was just like- "I'm sorry, who is this?" and in typical dramatic D fashion he says, "Well damn. I guess it's a good thing I didn't call you in an emergency, I would've been dead!" I knew who it was then and I'm 85% sure he heard my eyes roll to the back of my head. He started asking questions and I deaded them pretty quickly so he told me to write down his number and call him later. Right. THAT didn't happen. First of all, I told him repeatedly how much I hate getting personal phone calls on my work line, so that just annoyed the hell out of me. Second of all, you know- when it's over, it's over. And maybe we can be good friends like Sauce and I but I just don't see that happening. D is the kind of guy who gets attached easily and I don't need him getting any mixed signals.
   Antoine is clearly amused by this story and says something to the effect of everything has their season. I ask him how his family is doing and he proceeds to show me pics of his two adorable children. Time really does fly, because I remember them being so young but now they're developing personalities, it's really cute to see how much pride he shows with all the pics in the wallet. But at the same time- he's sending me these looks that are sending signals straight to Lola. It didn't help that the table conversation got turned to sex somehow. I think Carmen was talking about how she refuses to give her man head and she doesn't want him doing that to her either. Of course everyone is weighing in on the subject. Next thing you know the guys are talking about their oral skills and positions. Antoine turns to me asks if D was hitting it right. I answered truthfully and he just kinda looked at me and nodded his head. Then he said something like he can get me loose and he's looking at me again. I just kinda look back at him. Carmen notices the private conversation and she tells us that we look like a cute couple. I choose that moment to get up to go to the bathroom. Joyce hands me some money so I can get another round of drinks for us.
   When I come back to the table, Antoine is telling Carmen how me and him "get it in" all the time. Carmen is just looking all bug-eyed and slack-jawed, saying "Nuh-Unh" and "Oooh". And he starts to describe in detail everything we do. At this point, it's just messing with me because the most contact we've ever had was one of those "church hugs" you know- one arm, no real body contact. But I know what he's doing. He's trying to get me to imagine how it WOULD be if I were to get with him. He's winning for a minute but after Carmen lets out a long "oooooh" I squash it by telling her how we know each other. Of course she knows who D is, everyone at my damn job knew him and when I tell her how pretty his wife and kids are, she has to see the pics. She's Black and Puerto Rican but Carmen says she looks more Dominican than anything. Then the two of them start talking about Spanish foods and I felt like the conversation was finally on safe ground.
   I was losing my damn mind out there. I mean, I can't deny that there has always been an attraction between the two of us since D first introduced us, but I knew that was his boy. And he's married. AND his chick can really scrap. I'm sure when it comes down to the nitty gritty I can hold my own, but I don't want to test that out anytime soon. But still...it's nearing the end of the night and we exchange numbers. He's asking if I was okay to drive because I was in straight chill mode, but I told him I was good and he said he hoped so. That was definitely a double entendre. So we're all in the parking lot and he's giving me instructions- I think for when to call him- and how I BETTER call him. I'm not even gonna lie, I was toying with the idea for sure. I mean, damn. Just Damn.
   After passing out once I got home, I woke up and erased his number from my contact list. I don't need that trouble. I may want it A LITTLE a lot, but I don't need it.

Loves and Likes Ya!

Is It Bad...

...that last night I got a call from Malachi and I felt a little excited? He called while I was putting the finishing touches on my blog post last night. We chatted a bit. I told him about my recent  new job possibility. He asked if I ever thought of him, and he thought about me the other day in class and...heh heh heh- let's just say ya girl got skills! Excuse me while I POP MY COLLAR! Na, lemme stop. This darn work schedule always jack me up though :( while most people are partying it up, I'm working. Oh wells- guess it's better to earn $$$$ than to spend it.

The funny thing is Shara is waiting. She says she can't wait for me to meet a guy who would change my perspective on relationships and guys. YEA- I'm pretty sure that won't happen anytime soon. A guy is a guy,a dick is a dick, and a relationship is too much of a headache.

Loves and Likes Ya!

I May Be Crazy But...

After class Monday, I could've sworn I saw Ced's car following me. I was taking the back way so there was NO REASON for him to follow, seeing as he lives on the complete opposite side of town. I first noticed his car when I was pulling out of the parking lot. Now usually, I don't look in no one's rearview mirror (which is how I got my 2 speeding tickets), but something told me to last night and I noticed his car- keeping a respectful distance as to not get spotted.

I was thinking that ol' buddy has finally flipped his lid. I mean, he's never gotten the chance to see where I lived so maybe he was curious? IDK? All I know, is that I lost him when I went to the Dairy Queen. LMAO. You read right. Like the true fat girl I am, I was wanting a Blizzard. So I get in the left turn lane and when I saw the car approaching (in the right lane) I got a good look. I bet dollars to donuts that was him!

Loves and Likes Ya => but that doesn't mean you should stalk me

Sooooo...Uhhhhh...Yea....

That pretty much sums it up. No it doesn't. Y'all, I gotta vent.

So yesterday I had a study session with C. Do NOT roll your eyes or suck your teeth! We had a MAJOR exam today and when I say that boy needs help- well- the boy needs help. I honestly try to help him but he seems to have ADD or something and has a hard time focusing. I spend half the time chewing his behind out for not paying attention. I told him that if he doesn't start paying attention and actually doing what I tell him to do- then I'm not gonna waste anymore of my time by helping him. I don't care HOW cute the damn boy is. Remember- I walk that talk!

Anyways- so after about the 3rd ass-chewing of the night, I decide to let him take a break. I was still studying though- did you not read that it was a major exam? I'm sayin! So during his break- he's all like, "How's your sister, how's your dog, when am I going to meet her?" and I'm all like "She's good, she's good, I dunno- she doesn't really like guys" and so he's like- "What do you mean she doesn't really like guys?" and I'm like, "I dunno, the only guys she likes is my dad and my papa. Any other guy she just barks at the whole time." And he's like- "I'm talkin bout your sister. Not your dog." And that's so sweet that he wants to meet my sister. Especially since she already threatened me about him. What did she say?

"Now my party is coming up You didn't run off Ced did you, cuz I don't need you to be by yourself Its gonna be me and Seth, Sean and Kisha, Mimi and Jonathon, and I don't need you and Justin (Seth's younger brother who is too cute to be single) to be the 5th and 6th wheel like y'all always are (and we ALWAYS are) So whatever weird twisted thing you got goin on with Sauce gotta stop because I want it to be you and Ced."

Yes I am aware that there wasn't any punctuation in that paragraph, but that was how she told it to me, no pauses and no time for objections that she knew was coming.  So him commenting about my sister was kinda eerie. But honestly he is a stand-up kind of guy. Yeah he's nosey as hell and can get worked up about things- but all in all, he's cool. But y'all...smh, there's something else.

It happened again!

I mean, at least this time he tried to make it last by keeping distracted with other things, but if he can't last that long when I'm just giving him head- how's it gonna be when (or IF) we have sex? Is he gonna get up and excuse himself when it's starting to feel good? And if that's the case- how am I supposed to get MY jollies off?

Maybe it's just me?

Because- and I'm not even saying this to sound cocky- but I've been told that my head game is quite serious, but my ex D was able to keep his cool. Sauce doesn't do a bad job either. I can think of 2 other guys who busted kinda quick- but their quick wasn't as quick as Ced's.

I know that sex isn't everything in a relationship but IT IS TO ME! it is an important factor. I mean, we're all looking for that homie/lover/friend. So will it be wrong if Ced is the homie/friend while Sauce is the lover? Too much y'all- too much

Loves and Likes Ya