Celebration and A Tragedy Pt III

     Carmen left work early, planning on packing up the rest of her stuff so by the time I got off, we can just pack up my car and take her to Joyce. Once I got off, I went home to change and swung by Carmen's where she was sitting outside with Joyce and Terrell. All three of them drinking beers and smoking ciggies and talking shit. You really have no choice but to talk shit with Terrell because the words that come out of his mouth is pure ignorance. Like he's impressing me- ChileBOO! Carmen's like, "She ain't thinkin bout chu boy. She too good for you anyways." That kinda hurt his feelings, but he's a big boy. So Carmen and Terrell are arguing because Bruchon is Terrell's buddy as well and he can't wanna believe that his boy is changing postions.

"It's one thing if it was just assumptions but why is my jar of vaseline open? And why does it have a big ol hole in it from someone digging the hell out of it?" Mmhmm. Case Closed.

     We drop the things off at Joyce and Carmen doesn't want to sit around depressed to we go to WW where we meet this character of a man who keeps us in stitches the whole night. He's reading people right to left and clowning people left to right. I'm not sure when it was that I noticed Carmen was drunk (I promise that I only had 2 drinks myself and had juice the rest of the night) but she was. And Terrell was finally talking sense when he pulled me to the side and said, "Babygirl being drunk and feeling depressed ain't good at all. She doesn't need to be by herself." We went on ahead and bounced her out of there. She was begging to go back to her place but none of us wanted her to be alone. Especially since she said something about ending the pain.
     Terrell got his car from Joyce's and I tried to get Carmen out of the car but she wasn't budging. I told her she was either gonna be at Joyce's or she was gonna be at my house. She HATED the idea of going to my house because she didn't want my parents to see her like this. I told her I can careless what she WANTED to do because she didn't NEED to be by herself. Then she said she didn't want to stay at Joyce's because she has rats. Rats? Joyce's place is spic and flippin span. I just chalked that up to her being drunk and making excuses. Finally I suggested she go to her place but have somebody spend the night. Since she had a court date in the morning that Joyce was going to accompany her, I made the call and asked Joyce if she wanted to stay at Carmen's. She basically said no. Her exact words were, "Well, Chelle, I don't feel like leaving my house right now. Carmen will be okay. She just needs to..."and I blocked out the rest of her simple ass response. The chick lives WALKING DISTANCE from Carmen. I knew she wasn't THAT damn comfortable yet. I knew what I had to do so I got her up off the phone and told Carmen I'll be right back. I live 5 minutes aways from her so I was just gonna go home, grab some clothes and a toothbrush, then go get some food since I was hungry. It didn't work out like that once Joyce called me.

"Uh, Chelle, Carmen, uh, she just called me and uh told me that she uh took 15 Benedryl."
"WHAT?!"
"I asked uh, I asked if she was sure and uh, she said uh she said she took the rest of the uh bottle. Where are you? You think you can check on her?"

    I promise I wanted to reach through that phone and smack her. It took her entirely too long to tell me what happened and once she did tell me what happened, she kept repeating it. I think I hung up on her. I was very upset. First: because I ignored my gut feeling. I should've NEVER left her alone. But I did, because I can empathize. We've all been in situations where it's good to be with friends but sometimes you just want to cry in the dark by yourself while listening to the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack -whoops, personal experience, lol - so I figured that me getting my stuff and getting something to eat will give her enough personal time before I invaded her place. And she promised me not to do anything stupid. Second: she has no family down here. Hardly no friends. Me, Joyce, and Terrell. And see how that worked out? Joyce is too comfortable at home to check on her "best friend"? If this wasn't the saddest thing... I was in tears. Because nobody deserves anything like that. I got there and she was walking around. We went outside where she lit a cigarette and I asked her what the hell was on her mind. She doesn't like to depend on anybody. She hates him for doing this to her. She hates him for lying to her. She might as well die because she has nothing to live for. I told her that she needs to stop talking crazy and that GOD didn't cure her from her cancer just so she can throw her life away. Then I tried to get her in my car so we can go to the ER but she wasn't having it. I called her mom and let her try to talk some sense into Carmen. I don't think that was the best idea, because I heard the mom call Carmen 'loca' and 'estupida' repeatedly. I took the phone and promised to call the mom if anything happens. By the time I got off with the mom, Carmen was back inside and she was laying on the bed. I called the paramedics and got her in the hospital. A couple of hours later, she's fine. Yeah- I freaked out- but I'm the first to admit that in a crisis, you gonna have to give me a minute to get my thoughts together.

Loves and Likes Ya=> Really. I do.

And Now...The Undramatic Conclusion

There's a good chance that the hacker isn't D. How can I have anti-virus software that don't do shit? I don't understand!! The message popped up that I have tracking cookies but it didn't have an option to remove it. After a frustrating couple of days, I went to the PC wizard- known as my dad- and told him to get rid of this black magic on my computer. He says I probably got the tracking cookies from going to those crazy websites I go to. Let that be read as: You got those cookies from going to those porn sites. WHOOPS! lmao. If that wasn't the most awkward thing for me. At least he put it in a nice way.

Loves and Likes Ya

GASP! I'm a...MUSIC SNOB?!

 I try not to discriminate when it comes to music, Lord knows my musical tastes have always been a bit questionable. I mean really- how many 12 year old black girls you know that loved to listen to Prince and Aerosmith? But the face I made when my cousin from up north asked why I don't have more Wacka and OJ and Gucci in my iPod? That shit was PRICELESS!

Looking back at it now though, why did I respond the way I did? Is it because even though I get hype off of a little Gucci, in the back of my mind I know that this is straight coon music? And by coon music, I mean music with lyrics that degrade our community and don't contribute with a story. Am I any better just because I have some Common, Malik Yusef, Lupe and Wale in my Pod? You know, Wacka and 'em, somebody is vibing with their music because they're making more money than I am and the radio is playing it in rotation. They're making their music and having their dreams come true, so who am I to shoot them down just because it may not, particularly, be my cup of tea. I'm all for shaking my ass and wanting to start a fight in the club off a song, not mad at it at all. So let me bring my nose down from the clouds.

Loves and Likes Ya => no matter who you listen to

Being Prepared for Business: The Post Formerly Known As- Are Black People Less Prepared For The Business World Than White People?

So I told you about JoyKILL? Well, I've been observing her habits and mannerisms (since I'm stuck with the broad once a week and I have to relieve her twice a week) And I began to wonder...Are we (black people) less prepared for the business world than white people?

Joy is actually Hispanic, but doesn't look it. Her first name is Consuella but she goes by Joy to eliminate any discrimination. She once said she can speak Spanish fluently- but she can't tell anyone. She loves office supplies, carries around a day planner in which she diligently writes reminders for appointments and keeps track of her hours, she once confessed that she spent days agonizing over her signature because her mother told her it was important...blah blah blah, sorry, I have the tendency to just tune her out after a while.

I just kinda looked at these characteristics as...well, trying to keep it nice, as little things that make Joy so "special" but after my interviews with that other hotel, I had some more time to think. I'm not quite sure where I acquired my skills for job interviews and workplace conduct. I'm thinking it was school, but not once do I remember my parents sitting me down and giving me tips for a successful interview and how to succeed in the business world. I mean, the only thing I can remember is my Dad drilling the need to be on time into my head, but that's about it. Trina talks all the time about appearances when it comes to professionalism.  She fussed at her daughter when she dyed her dreads some bright red and got her lip pierced and got a tattoo on her wrist. Her exact words to her child was: "What kind of job are you expecting to have besides McDonald's?"  I've never had that talk about professionalism with my parents either. Probably because on the outside I'm kinda boring. No flashy clothing, I prefer to keep it classy, and the most drastic thing I've ever done with my hair was when I got highlights. Imagine my horror when the deep mahogany color the stylist mixed became a bright red once applied on my head. The more I washed it though, the more the color came out, leaving it a pretty nice color:

When I first came to work, with the bright red color, I got a lot of compliments. My general manager, wanting to see what the hoopla was, came out of her office and though she tried, couldn't conceal the initial shock. She covered it up by smiling and saying, "That's very different on you." I expressed to her that the color turned out to be waaay brighter than what I intended and I saw her facial muscles begin to relax as she realized that I didn't do it on purpose. Trina told me the color was nice and although she didn't approve when Shay wanted the same color, my demeanor was able to carry the color without it appearing too "ghetto"  

Doubletree didn't seem to have the same opinion however, and asked if I minded dying my hair a more "natural" color if I were hired for the job. My feelings weren't hurt because, once again, the color wasn't really what I wanted anyway. But the more I started looking at my hair, I realized that wasn't a damn thing wrong with it. By the time I went on that interview, it was the color of the above picture, which wasn't that crazy. I did get hired and kept the "If they don't say nothing- I ain't gon' say nothing" policy. Worked fine, considering I resigned from the position anyway. 9 damn 50. Are they hitting the pipe?

And maybe there is a gross generalization with my title, maybe it's just that MY PARENTS weren't actively preparing me for the business world, but looking at some of my coworkers, it does make me wonder if they had any preparation themselves. I mean, just look at Christine. So the more I type, the more I realize that this post, well the original title isn't all that. I do wonder if good judgment and good upbringing replace the lessons that should be taught when it comes to the business world? Maybe that's why my parents never really mentioned anything. I have a good head on my shoulders and, for the most part, my parents see that so maybe that's why they didn't deem it necessary? *shrugs shoulders* What do you think?

Loves and Likes Ya

How You Can Lose A Friend

This topic had been on my mind since I wrote y'all about me and Anjail cyberstalking E.G.F. (BTW: They checked out of the hotel at the end of February and are in LA now, getting their contracts and things in order. I wish them soo much luck!) I'm pretty sure y'all ain't on stalker status, but remember when I told y'all sbout me being snowed in and how something else happened? Well this is it, and it took me a hot lil minute to think of what I should call it but after a conversation with my Grandma, I decided to name it How You Can Lose A Friend- seeing as how APPROPRIATE it is.

My girl Shay. *shakes head and sighs* Is in love. Not that "Will and Jada" love. More like that "Jody and Yvette" love. Well hell- not even that. She's in that "stupid love" where all logical reasoning goes out the window. We're talking about a girl who has sooo much common sense coupled with a good amount of book smarts. And she just can't let it go. THAT kind of love? I just can't want y'all.

She's been with this guy for like 5 or 6 years. She's the father of her only son, who's 4. His career isn't all the way legal, but he's kept up a lifestyle that she's grown accustomed to. He's good looking- can be sexy if you like the tall dread-head look. Eh- he ain't got enough meat on his bones for me though. But he's a ho y'all. Like STRAIGHT UP. He has at least 3 kids outside of their relationship. He's cheated on her with numerous friends and cousins and...there's suspicion that he also cheated on her with her twin sister. I'll pause while you digest that tidbit.

So, on the phone with Grandma- she asked me how her other granddaughter was doing. At that time she (Shay) was going through some things with the boyfriend and I told Grandma about it. That's when she told me:

"I know her relationship is bad, but don't you say anything about it. You listen when she talks to you- but don't give her any advice. The quickest way to lose a girlfriend is talking about her relationship, because at the end- you guys won't be talking but she'll still be with that no-good man."

Sad but true. I've never really said anything about her relationship anyways because I know she gets it enough from our honorary mother Trina. But soo many emotions go through me when she tells me about the next thing he did. It's like I'm mad at him, mad at her, sad for her...chile *rolls eyes* She's a good person and she continues to let this guy walk over her time and time and time again. I don't get it. Maybe because I've never been in love. Or maybe because I've never seen any female in my family be stupid in love like that. Either way, it's not a good look.

So now she's moved out from the house. Got her own lil place and getting her Miss Independent on. I was proud of her. At first. Then I found out that she told him he has 6 months to get his stuff together. REALLY?!?!? He's had 6 YEARS to get his shit together. The guy is pushin 30. If he ain't worked it out by now? It ain't gonna get worked out boo-boo! Leopards don't change their spots and he ain't gon' change his cheating ways. Now how can I tell her all of that and still keep our friendship? Yea, thought so!

Loves and Likes Ya

"Yo- You're A Christian?"

   Wooooow! I knew he was kidding because I've told him about my going to church, but it still stung a little bit. Because my days off pretty much always fall on Sunday and Monday, I spend Sunday morning at church praying about the sins I'm about to commit Sunday night and maybe Monday. SMH. It's a damn shame. Being raised in the church with strong religious values, I've always been a little conflicted. I have accepted Christ as my Savior. I know right from wrong. Where my problem lies is the fact that I'm a very sexual being. I tried praying but it doesn't work as well.

I'm pretty good about resisting temptation. How I do that is remove myself from any situation that I know will lead me to be alone with an attractive male. (J/K, Gosh- I'm not THAT horny!) but you know what kind of situations I'm talking about- late night (well, it doesn't have to be late nights) an intimate group of friends (well, it doesn't have to be that intimate) maybe a couple of drinks (well, drinks may or may not be involved) Scratch that- I have to remove myself from any situation that I know will lead me to be alone with an attractive male. Case in point- Ol' buddy with the study session.

I was doing just fine with my celibacy. I haven't had any since the day after Christmas and I wasn't sliding down any banisters so I think all was good. HOWEVER- ol' buddy woken up SOMETHING someone inside of me that hasn't been out in a while. HELLO LOLA!

With the arrival of Lola, came the beginnings of my spiritual battle. How can I be up in church, and not just up in church- but pretty INVOLVED in the church, and act like this heathen? At one point I was holding on to my virginity with an iron-clad grip that my ex hated me for. I was 19 and still figuring out my direction in life. I don't know when it was that I realized, "Uh Chelle- you're still calling yourself a virgin but you're doing everything but having vaginal intercourse. Fantastic." And another thing my ex hated me for. Needless to say- my ex didn't pop the cherry, instead it was this guy I worked with and only knew for about 2 weeks? Yeah- no idea where my head was. Again- I was 19.

I'm off subject. Lola got introduced to the ex. The ex who hated my iron-clad grip and "Don't put it in" sayings. The ex I've been hanging out with lately. Yeah. Dammit my sister was right. But not in the "relationship" capacity because I don't need that drama- remember, I still have goals to achieve- but in the stereotypical "FB" capacity that seems to haunt so many ex-relationships. I mean, it seems perfect! I have a monkey on my back that needs to get the hell off (yes that pun was intended) and he's the perfect guy. Real laid back- doesn't seem to be prone to stalker status (cuz YOU KNOW *heh heh heh*. Lemme stop chile) and we're already familar with one another so no awkward moments. And yeah- it was him that said that slick comment in the title of this post. Gotta love him though.

So I'm talking to my sister Monday during our dinner date and I ask her if she ever feel guilty about having premarital sex, especially since we seem to be getting so involved with our church and church family lately.

"What like DURING sex?"
"Not really, just like anytime. Do you ever think, 'This is wrong?'"
"I mean, it's more like a fleeting thought but it's much much MUCH later. Depends on how good he put it down. I may not be in my right mind yet!"

I felt her on that one. Because Sunday night with the ex was....DAMN. Everytime I think about it, I just shake my head and blush. Yeah- it was like that. Makes me kinda glad that I didn't go to church that morning.

Loves and Likes Ya

Things I've Learned...

So Anjail (my coworker) and I were snowed in at work last weekend. (I'll blog about that later because you know something happened)  We were cutting up and acting a plum fool in the great room area. In comes these two extended stay guests- both pieces of mancandy- and we hit em with the:

I know, I'm a mess! lol.

"Who are they?" Anjail asks me.

"Girl, they're a singing group. They call themselves- Every Gyrlz Fantasy."

"They sure are. When did they check in?"

"They've been here for a hot lil minute, I have NO idea when they're gonna check out though."

"Did they sing for you?"

"Girl, no. But they're good. Hold up, lemme pull up their page."

And I whip out my laptop and we do a little cyber-stalking (do not roll your eyes because you know you've done it before! lol)

There was once a time when I would attract nothing but people who were in the "music biz" You know, those guys who had notebooks with rhymes in it. Guys who have a keyboard and a PC and they call it their home studio.  Singers, rappers, DJ's, producers, and even a "talent manager" (Notice I am using quotations. That's because these guys liked to think of themselves of great self- import. I, on the other hand, did not) So while Anjail is daydreaming about her next BD*  (*Bad Decision- a guy who will have you saying to your bestie, "He's a no good jiggaboo. Why am I wasting my time? Tell me I'm wasting my time!") I'm thinking about the various:

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE DATING SOMEONE IN THE "MUSIC BIZ"

• 
  
  An idea can pop into their head at any moment. Be it a lyric or a beat. So while you're droning on an on about the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy- he ain't payin attention to you! He's too busy being inspired.
• 
  
  Nothing is sacred. Most musicians draw from real life experiences, be it good or bad.
• 
  
  Be honest. If the lyric is wack, or the beat is wack- don't let them walk around with the big head- shoot that shit down! Because if you tell 'em that it's good but other people tell 'em it's wack- he's not gonna respect your opinion anymore and he'll question your taste.
• 
  
  There will be times when you don't hear from him for long period of times. He's not ignoring you or playing you to the left (at least not really on purpose 95% of the time) He's in the zone. And he'll appreciate it if you stop calling and/or texting him every 5 minutes, tryna do a body check.
• 
  
  There will be groupies. And that song he sung/rapped/produced with you in mind after a late night session- the groupie will think is for her. If that helps her sleep at night, go on ahead and let her think that. Set some guidelines early in your relationship about groupie behavior. Example:

"Lemme find out you were humpin' or slurpin' down some groupie ho. You and that trick will be lookin for y'all teeth on the side of the road with my size 8 shoe in yo' asses!" Something kinda like that will do, lol

• 
  
  There will be times when he doesn't want you to come with him to certain music events. I know how some of us women think, "Aww, he doesn't want me to come in case he embarasses himself. I'll still go to show him support." Yeah, that may be the case some of time but most of the time when he says he doesn't want you to come- you don't go!

Just a couple of things to keep into consideration if you happen to date a "rapper" "singer" "producer" or WHATEVA.

Loves and Likes Ya!


***As a bonus, I've included some good music. Take a listen to and thank me later!***









The Other Side- Let Me Show You: My favorite track off of their debut album. One of my exes (who I'm still good friends with) produced the album. Excuse my unabashed plug-in but if you like what you hear- download some free mixtapes at their website http://www.otherside.bandcamp.com/! Enjoy



Every Gyrlz Fantasy- In A While: These are the guests who are staying at our hotel now. And they are the coolest and some of the nicest guys I know. I hope they stay that way.



Eric Roberson- Couldn't Hear Me. The perfect song for a woman to listen to before she gets involved with a musician, so she can know what she's getting herself into.