So I Was Thinking...

   Are you one of those women who think their vagina is special? No, really. Do you think that your Ms. Kitty is so good that you have your man in check? I've never been that girl. Probably because I always felt like I could be replaced anyway. We won't dive into my issues but insight to my mother's past has made me into the bitter young woman I am today.
   Now I remember- I was reading a book (She Ain't The One by my two fave authors- Carl Weber and Mary B Morrison) in which the main character puts up with this chick who thought her sex was the bomb. She was mistaken. And that made me wonder how many times has that happened? How many times have you (whether you're a girl or guy) thought you had the best sex in your life? I'm talking about afterwards you're all sweaty, joints a little achy, breathing is kinda shallow, and you're slowly slipping into a comatose state but it's okay because you just KNOW that you Put.It.Down. But what if your partner disagrees? What if they think there was nothing spectacular about the episode? How would you feel?
   Yes there is a difference between making love and having sex. Sex is such a selfish act. You're doing what makes you feel good. Doing whatever helps you achieve euphoria. Now I know that there are some people who are selfless lovers, they get a rush from having their partners climb walls and break beds. What if it was a show?
   I'm asking these questions because they've been on my mind. Like I wrote earlier- I've never been the one to brag about my sexual prowess just because- people lie. I mean, giving oral sex is my gift to my partner but when it comes down to actual vaginal intercourse- I concentrate on my personal satisfaction.  Have I had a partner who thought they dicked me down to the point of paralysis when it was far from the truth? Yes. Fortunately I can count on one hand how many times that has happened. Well come to think of it, that was only D's crazy ass always with a damn point to prove. SMH. Anywho, just thinking, I know it's random.

Drake- Brand New. Perfect Song for the post. I even picked the video version with the lyrics flashing across the screen so you can have clarification! Yes, you are welcome. lol
 

Loves and Likes Ya=> hope the feeling is reciprocated

You're Single?

Love Shay. Love Shara. Their situations are a little different, yet so similar.

Shay=> Been with baby's father, Kenta, on and off for 5 years. Baby's father is a great provider but fidelity isn't high on his list of priorities. She calls herself gaining some independence by getting her own place yet she drops everything she is doing to be at his beck and call. She does things to get his approval.
Shara=> Been with high school sweetheart, Seth, on and off for 7 years. He's a great guy, being there for her mentally and physically while she went through chemotherapy and radiation. He broke things off not because he wants to fool around, he is one of the faithful few, but because he feels he doesn't deserve her, and is trying to do something better with his life to earn her. She doesn't want to be there for him all the time, but she is. She doesn't want to care about what he may or may not like, but she does.

They both call themselves single. Physically they may be, but mentally? No, not at all. Shay's been talking to this guy from out of town. He asked to spend the night with her at her place. I expected her to say no because she has a son who is young and impressionable. She said no because "What would Kenta think, finding out I had some guy sleeping over?" Umm. He would think you have a f*ckin life for once?! He wasn't concerned about her feelings while he's impregnating all these other girls, so why is she concerned about his thoughts and feelings? Shara, hooking up with T and while with T, picks up Seth's phone calls, lies to him and pisses off T, because otherwise he will keep calling and it will get aggravating? It's called an IGNORE button, and they put that option there for a reason! Hell, it's called PUSHING THE POWER BUTTON.
See, THAT'S the kind of thing I'm talking about. How are you going to say you are single to the guys who approach you, but your actions say that you are in a relationship? I guess that's why I am single in every sense of the word, because I don't believe in that double talk nonsense.
It's funny because Shay and Shara get upset when other guys don't act the way they want him to. They say, "He knew what the deal was when we first go together." Naw dawg, YOU knew what the deal was. They thought the deal was- you are single so you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. Just saying.

Loves and Likes Ya=> but keep it real, you ain't single if you checkin to make sure he ain't at the same club you're at.

Going Natural

And I don't mean that kind of natural- get your mind out of the gutter! (Although it's likely I just put it there, lol) I've been toying with the idea of going natural for a while now. I think it's this damn heat we've been having, sweatin a sista gurl's perm out.

For those who are unaware, "going natural" is a term used for women who stop relying on relaxers (perms) to get their hair straight. The whole thing seems to be a bit taboo for some reason, but starting to get more recognition thanks to Chris Rock's film "Good Hair"  A good bit of people in my life are already natural. Trina has dreads. Anjail sports a funky fro mohawk. Shara never had a perm in her life and lives off of pressing combs. Ms. Crazy (my stepmother) rocks the teeny weeny fro. Even my dad wears the Steve Hightower (you know, Steve Harvey's character?) But when I told my mom, her response was...

"Well it's a good thing we have mixed ancestry in our family. (insert laugh) You can rock it and still look cute."

Sheer ignorance with that first comment. I look like every other black girl out here. So what if we have White and Irish and Indian in our family? EVERYBODY'S family has something mixed up in there. Boy I tell ya. I can compare her sense of family pride with the sense of pride Hitler had for his nation. Born a Potter, Die a Potter. SMH. Her comment coupled with Shay's son's comment:

"Why do you wear your hair like that?"
"What? You don't like it?"
Shakes head no. "You should wear it like that-" Points to his mom's relaxed hair.

It's enough to give a girl a complex! It's a shame how much pressure is put on women and this invisible standard of beauty. And it's even worse that some women judge each other on this invisible standard. I'm not trying to break down barriers or anything like that, I'm just trying to keep it real and simple for me. NahMean?

Loves and Likes Ya=>No matter how your hair may look.

Role Model Of The Year

So, I'm taking my cousin to the mall for back to school shopping. He's a junior, 17, and a cutie pie. We have serious talks all the time, mostly about sex because he has a lot of questions and I have a lot of honest answers. Well, I tell him to hold my wallet for me while I pump gas. I'm not thinking he's paying attention because he's on his cell with his girl. All of a sudden I hear,

"Aww shit. I know this isn't what the FUCK I think it is!?"

I turn my head and- dum dum DUM- he found the two condoms in the back pocket of my wallet. SMH. First off, let me tell you that my wallet is a leopard print sequined montrosity of a thing, so how he felt the condom is beyond me. Secondly, I was mildly embarassed, but not embarassed enough to say,

"Yea it's condoms. I hope you have one in your wallet too!"

To which he replied how he got straps on deck. The whole thing is funny as hell though. The condom was leftover from the night before- from an event I will rather not talk about, seeing as how it isn't the most righteous thing to do, even though it felt too damn good. Let a sista girl breathe for a minute....and...we're pressing play.

I'm sitting here getting admonished from this 17 year old boy because apparently it's the wrong type of condom to get since they break easily. WTF? It was the first time I ever bought condoms, and the only reason why I did buy that type was because the variety isn't there at a bootleg gas station at 2:35 am. I bought a 3 pack and didn't know what to do with the leftover condoms. He (the aggressor of the night before) couldn't use them because it would look very suspicious and I didn't know what to do- all I knew was SOMEBODY was gonna use them damn things!

After the cousin found the stash, I hid it in my glove compartment. Not in plain sight- please give me a little more credit than that- but buried in my file folder. Of course I used this situation to talk to cousin a little more about STD's and that kind of thing, but I know that it kinda threw him off seeing me with the condoms like that.

Loves and Likes Ya=> and I loves and likes my protection as well. Hope you do too!

I'm Good...

Me: Most of the time, whenever I drink I either get sleepy of horny.
Paul: So either way you're heading to the bed.
Me (laughing): Never thought of it like that, but yeah.

Girl Talk

Carmen: Was he packin'?
Shara: Umm, I dunno, I think it wa-
Carmen: What color was the condom? Did you get to see the condom?
Shara: Yeah. It was green.
Carmen: Hmph. Eenie Meenie.

Really Carmen? LMAO

Boy I Tell Ya...

You just don't find good ol' fashioned ignorance like this anymore!

Me: I just need to see your ID and method of payment please.
Guest: There you go again with that. You know if you guys keep asking me that, I'm gonna have to find somewhere else to stay. (I give a polite chuckle) I'm serious. Asking for ID and credit cards leads to identity theft.
Me: Well I guess you're gonna have to find someplace else to stay because that's corporate policy.
Guest: Well is there a comment card I can fill out? Management really needs to do something about that.
Me: The comment card is in your room, but honestly filling it out will do no good. It is a corporate policy to verify identification with credit cards.
Guest: You know, the Nazis had a policy of exterminating Jews but that doesn't make it right.
Me: I'm not sure how you can compare the two. Our policy is to help PREVENT identity theft by verifying that the person in front of me and the name and picture on the ID matches the information on the credit card. I've had many guests actually thank me for asking  for their ID because identity theft has happened to them before. Which may be the same reason why many people write "See ID" on the back of their credit cards. I know it would give me a sense of security to have someone verify my information.
Guest: I'll have to give it you, you sure do know how to argue a point well.

Sorry. Normally I'm not so combative with my guests. Usually a guest would say something like that and it rolls off my shoulders like- Yeah, Whateva- but he caught me on the wrong day. And even though I told him that, you can visually TELL that it was like talking to a brick wall. Case in point: The next day I came into work, I saw the comment card. "Drop so-called need to verify photo identity at check-in. Leads to identity theft." For his last name to be Wright, he sho is WRONG!

Ultimate Teamwork FAIL

We've talked about my views on marriage. Just call me the eternal bachelorette until I find a guy who can make me change my mind. What about my parent's marriage? My mom and dad married when I was 3 or 4 and was divorced by the time I turned 6. They were young and dumb though. Mom being 17 when she had me, stuck in the most suburban town in Jersey, while dad was 18 and traveling with his band. My mom's next husband looked like a broke down version of Spike Lee. He had a jacked up ass attitude- like he didn't know that he looked a hot mess- and their relationship pretty much isolated my mom from the rest of the family. My mom's husband now- well you remember Lamont? She's realizing that she jumped into marriage prematurely and now she's just biding her time until she gets herself together.

My dad is married to a tyrant of a woman with a mixture of various personality disorders (unfortunately they are all undiagnosed but I bet dollars to donuts that one of them is bi-polar) that are all held hostage in a five foot two frame. Grandma Emilie calls her psycho and unstable, and that's saying a lot from a woman who gets along with EVERYBODY. Honestly, she's always been off to me since the first time I met her and she was yelling at her daughter, Shara, for not knowing where the scissors were. Yea. That kinda set the tone for the whole relationship. She's always yelling, like she doesn't know how else to express her feelings. She's one of those people who just get so excitable and feels as if she HAS to yell just to be heard.  My dad is an extremely laid-back and friendly person. As a matter of fact, the first time I ever heard him raise his voice was when he began his relationship with that crazy woman. You know what? Let's just call her Ms. Crazy from now on, because I like the way that sounds.

Somewhere along the line of this extremely dysfunctional relationship, she became more domineering and he became more dormant. Excuse the dramatics, but the guy I once knew with the confident swagger and vibrant attitude became more aloof and as a true daddy's girl, I can tell he was unsatisfied with his life. I mean, wouldn't you be as well when you're stuck working a job where you're constantly overlooked for promotion, while your wife is at home spending your money? Shit, I'll be pissed the hell off. Ike Turner. Isn't marriage supposed to be a partnership? A balance of give and take and always having each other's backs? Hunh. This team sucks ass. Lol. The man is working overtime 5 days a week and on the weekend he's supposed to...do everything that you should've been doing while you were at home? And what are you doing while you're at home? Are you cooking his dinner? Making his lunch? Trying to make your household a peaceful haven for him once he gets off work? No. You're half-assing dinner, talking down to him and not understanding why he's so tired when all he does is "sit down and answer phones all day" SMH. That sounds like a team of ME and not WE.

Enough with the background, this is what happened. When the family first moved into this house, they couldn't afford it. Like I said, she didn't have a job (which is confusing in itself because she had two of them bitches when the relationship first started, a sister girl gets a ring on her finger and all of a sudden it's "I'm not cut out for the work force. I need to be my own boss. Blah Blah Blah" Obviously she's the only one who doesn't seem to know that we're in a recession.) so they borrowed $1100 from me and $1300 from Shara and some more money from Grandma Emilie and some money from Ms. Crazy's aunt. Come to find out, the house had a sub-prime mortgage and thanks to Trina, I learned a little real estate lesson about mortgages and payments and somewhere along the line, the mortgage wasn't getting paid. I started noticing those threatening letters in the mail pile and Shara and I talked about it but we never thought it was serious since the parents didn't say anything to us. They were going around spending money like it was going out of style and going on trips with the church, so really it wasn't anything alarming. I knew they were actively seeking help with programs and the like so imagine my surprise when Ms. Crazy knocks on my bedroom door and says,

"Do you have someone you can stay with for a while? We lost the house."

It's still kinda early and everyone knows Chelle isn't much of a morning person, so my reaction was, "Yeah, I'm sure I can find somewhere." She goes on to say that we may not have a lot of time to pack so I should start rightaway and by the way, I should pray for my dad to become a "stronger man because his family shouldn't have to go through this"

WOW.

Did this chick just say.....??? What I THINK she said?!! Yeah, I'll pray for my dad to be a stronger man so he can tell her to get off her lazy, crazy ass and get a job! An hour or two later, Shara comes up to my room and of course she's telling me everything that her crazy mama is saying and how the drama unfolded. She tells me that when Ms. Crazy came back downstairs she told Shara that I must've thought she was playing because of my nonchalant reaction. I told Shara what Ms. Crazy said about me praying for my dad and Shara's shaking her head in disbelief.

Why try to place blame when they're both at fault? Dad for not standing up and telling his family that he needed help. And that's what hurts the most with all this. Shara and I are both employed and mature enough to know that things happen. Was it his pride that got in the way of asking us for help? Or did he believe that since his wife expected everything to be handed to her- we'll be the same way? It hurts y'all, if he did think that. And what about her, Ms. Crazy? She said she would always remind him to call the people with those house saving programs but he'll always say he will but won't and she couldn't talk to the people herself since her name wasn't on the mortgage. THAT'S her excuse? REALLY?!? If you saw that you were about to lose your house, would you accept that? I wouldn't! Instead of  making my hubby drive me around Charlotte and Gastonia to look for shoes and clothes to wear to church (0_o) I would gather up all the paperwork, dial the number, and hand that phone and paperwork to my husband so he can handle that business. I wouldn't have been asking for sponsored trips to Hilton Head and Charleston (Yes those were two separate events) and if I was him- I would've told her ass to stay home instead of spending money that they didn't have! Simple.

Luckily the housing issues were worked out and we have a nice house that we're renting. It was kinda sad to say goodbye to the house though, but things happen for a reason. I'm a firm believer of that notion. This event was the ultimate teamwork FAIL. Ballhogging, travelling, incomplete plays, fouls, the whole nine.  Hopefully they can learn from this experience. Either learn how to operate more as a team, or learn that this team may not be for them.

What Do You Do...???

So, we all have our strengths and we all have our weaknesses. And y'all, I'm talking about sexually. My strength? Definitely giving head. Weakness? Riding. I admit it, I can get a lil lazy after a while. And while I can still count my number of sexual partners on one hand- wait a minute while I verify the validity of the statement...WHEW! Barely made it! lol- I can remember their specific strengths and weaknesses. C: With him being my first, all I remember thinking was how big it was. His strength? Giving emotional support after popping the cherry. His weakness? Hot ass breath! lol. I just remember it being hot on the back of my neck for like- no reason! Lemme stop y'all. Ok, next- Wright. I can still swoon about the night he seduced me because it played out like the perfect romantic movie. Thunderstorm- check. Home cooked meal- check. Movie- check. Slow, lingering kisses- check. Slow sexy music and candles- check. Removing my belt buckle with his teeth- HOT DAMN! Strength: His moves, more moves than Chris Brown in his "Take You Down" video. Weakness: He only focused on HIS pleasure. Then there was D, whose strength was eating like he hasn't been fed in YEARS! Whoooo. *My legs just turned into jelly reminiscing* But his weakness was his insecurity, always wanting to know how he did like he's at the Olympics waiting for a scorecard. Chile, PUHLEEZE. Sauce is a savage and that's his strength. I guess it's because from the get-go we knew that we weren't there to "make love" bump that. We were just straight up F*CKIN and he behaved in that manner. LOVE IT, although the fact that I do love it makes me a bit worried that I may be a bit turned on by S&M???  And even though I love the roughness he applies with every stroke, I do NOT appreciate that roughness when he begins to sample the goods. *And now my legs just clinched together in memory* I mean, I appreciate his enthusiasm because it's always good to see a guy who enjoys licking the plate, but dammit if he ain't tryin to bite the plate too! It almost feels like a female circumcision or something. With Malachi it's a little too soon to tell what his strength or weakness may be but something tells me I'm gonna have fun finding out! I mean, the outside thing was exciting and thrilling enough really.

Honestly, the purpose of this post is this: What do you do when your sexual partner doesn't know their weakness? Do you tell them or do you be evasive whenever the subject comes up? Sis and I were debating this earlier tonight when I was telling her about Sauce. So of course we came up with a little list of techniques I can use if need be:

Me: Keep his mouth occupied with other things-=> naughty wink

Sis: Play dead=> Said because the clenching of the thighs and the faces made can be misconstrued for pleasure instead of terror

Me: Pop his head whenever it begins to wander down to the treasure box=> I reckon if you do it enough, it'll be like a Pavlov effect. Ya smack him enough and he'll won't be able to go down without flashbacks

Sis: Feed him so he won't be hungry => And by this she means real food! Girl loves food. Lol

Me: Tell him, "Look- I know they say Pain is Pleasure but DAMMIT do you have to tear my shits out? Is you THAT hungry baby?" 

And we busted out in a fit of giggles.

Loves and Likes Ya! =>No matter what your strengths and weaknesses may be!

You Remind Me Of My Jeep...

**After much internal debate, I'm posting this e-mail that I wrote to Terry last week. The only reason I debated posting it, was because it- well, I look REALLY bad, and kinda out of character. But then I realized the name of this blog is "Just Bein Me" cuz that's all I know. Love it or leave it. We grow and we learn. But I wouldn't take back this experience for nothing in the world. Just know- This post is DEFINITELY NSFW**

ME: Soooo, if you read my blog- you know that I go out with my girls on Wednesday night to the Wild Wing by my house. Also, if you read, you'll know that a guy, Malachi, has caught my eye. Well last Wednesday, something happened. And it MAY be just a lil too steamy to post on the blog, but I have to tell SOMEONE the deets.
I was outside trying to sneak and pour my smuggled Bacardi PeachRed when I felt hands over my eyes. Now I knew it was Malachi, because I saw him out of my peripheral before he blinded me. But I played along anyway. Oh. It's something about him that just turns me on rightaway! I think it's that whole ftw (f*ck the world) attitude he has. Kinda cocky, talks shit. So he's leaning with his back against the brick wall and he has an unlit cigarette in his hand. And he's just popping off at the mouth like he don't know who I am, So you KNOW I had to show him.
"It's quite obvious that you want attention," I tell him as I set my smuggled liquor and purse on the table. "You're up here talking shit up in my face like it's ok," Really it was a turn-on, but I started grazing my hand against the fly of his pants gently and getting closer in his face. "You want attention, so lemme give it to you." And we're kissing and my grazing has become more rhythmic and closer to the target. When I started messing with his belt, that's when he kinda grabbed my hand and told me,
"I'm not walking around here with a big ass stain, stop that shit." So I stop, and we talk about school and work, but the whole time it was like an unspoken agreement that something's gonna happen tonight.

The rest of the night, he was doing his thing and I was doing mine. He found me back outside with Carmen and Shara and these two dudes we just started talking to. Since the place is about to close, we all make plans to meet up at the Waffle House.

At the Waffle House, Shara is trying to find a new distraction and Carmen is WASTED. Luckily Shara volunteers to take Carmen home so it's me and Malachi. In my car. 3 something in the morning. We're at this abandoned building parking lot. His jeep is parked beside my car. Yes, I am being very naughty. No, I was not caring. Proven by my reaction when he tells me,

"You know what I'll like to see? Your hands on my jeep while I'm hitting it from the back." What do I do? I hope my ass out of my car! SMH. Damn Shame. But it was goooooood! It was my first time having sex in a public place. Very exciting and scary at the same time. Oh Terry, when did I become such a SLUT!?! And the worse thing? I can't wait to do it again! I mean, indoors of course, and taking our time.

TERRY: Ohhh myyy! You better be glad I have to leave out for work soon! Bad Bad LaChelle! Wait. For having fun while Terry does nothing! That sounds so so idk not like you! When did you become so uninhibited and adventuruous (I'm pretty sure I misspelled both of those words! LOL) Look at you all aggressive and "Imam show you" wow! I'm so jealous. You have to tell me more about this boy. I think if I was more like you life wouldn't be so Blah!

ME: Normally, it isn't me. But you know what I realized? I have to go out and create the life I want. It sounds so simple but it's really hard to do at times. Just because we're both cautious in nature, it's kinda hard to throw caution in the wind. Just do what turns you on and worry about the consequences later. Malachi *insert deep breath and smile here* lol. I met him back in March and we always see each other on Wild Wing Wednesdays. We do talk (he's one of the few who actually calls) and text occasionally. He's 25, has a full time job, goes to school for something dealing with computers, no woman, no kids, from New York (of course, they all are) and that's all I know for now. I'm thinking about asking him out on a date. I KNOW! This new LaChelle just takes things into her own hands because she gets tired of waiting for results.

So there you have it.

Loves and Like Ya => and hopefully you still do too!

Is It Bad...

...that last night I got a call from Malachi and I felt a little excited? He called while I was putting the finishing touches on my blog post last night. We chatted a bit. I told him about my recent  new job possibility. He asked if I ever thought of him, and he thought about me the other day in class and...heh heh heh- let's just say ya girl got skills! Excuse me while I POP MY COLLAR! Na, lemme stop. This darn work schedule always jack me up though :( while most people are partying it up, I'm working. Oh wells- guess it's better to earn $$$$ than to spend it.

The funny thing is Shara is waiting. She says she can't wait for me to meet a guy who would change my perspective on relationships and guys. YEA- I'm pretty sure that won't happen anytime soon. A guy is a guy,a dick is a dick, and a relationship is too much of a headache.

Loves and Likes Ya!

Feeling Sorry for the Fellas... Keep It 100!

Yea. I said it. I feel sorry for them sometimes. It's almost sad the way they're so OBLIVIOUS to what girls are thinking and wanting from them. What bought this thought on? My sister and her on/off boyfriend. *smh*

Riding in the car and hearing her express all the thoughts about him that she can't seem to tell him, I couldn't help but to think- Poor Seth. Do you realize that every word you say- or don't say is analyzed like a clue on CSI? Like, REALLY! And for most guys, it's the exact same for them. It would help if us women just tell the guys straight up what's what. But instead we second guess ourselves, gathering information from friends and family who aren't even qualified to give advice, just to give a half-ass attempt to communicate. I'm calling BS on the whole process! I am! Why can't you just tell a guy what's up? So what's a lil embarassment between homies/lovers/friends? At least everything is out in the open.

I chose this approach when I first asked Sauce to become my FB. Yeah- that's right- I asked HIM. The way how things were working out with the non-existent guys in my life (ok- the guys may be there but the way how I feel, they may as well not be) I knew I needed to get some release SOMEHOW. Sauce and I were hanging out a lil more often and although he played the cool friend- he's still a guy. And guys like ass. Hell, I like ass.So I put myself out there- potential embarassment and all- and a FB union was formed.

However, I didn't use the same open approach with Ced. After all the bad dates and study sessions, I just started ignoring his calls and texts instead of telling him. Today I got the most pitiful text from him.

hey what's up chelle guess u ain't pick up my phone calls was it something i did or said well its been real preciate it

Ain't hardly nothin bout that message grammatically correct. I mean, dang, can a girl get a comma, period, question mark or something? Jeez Louise! Sorry. Back to the subject at hand. It wasn't until I got this message (in the morning- while in the company of Sauce nonetheless) that I realized that MAYBE *pause* I handled the whole thing wrong with him. I mean, I try to keep it 100 with any guy I talk to- regardless of feelings- just because I want them to be the same with me. So me ignoring his calls/texts- makes me no better than Jay (can I get a moment of silence for the fineness that was Jay? **WHOOOOO** lmao) who started ignoring my texts after what I thought was a cool date or two. Even though I'm PRETTY damn sure the reason why I didn't hear back from him was because I denied him a taste of my honeybun. Hell, I didn't even nibble on his Snickers. Come to think of it- why didn't I? He was SEXXXY y'all! LOL. Bring me back chile, bring me back! LMAO

So at first I read his lil text, rolled my eyes, and threw my phone back in my purse. Then I started thinking- shouldn't I answer? Let him know why I don't really feel the need to be in his company any longer? Then I imagined all the back and forth that may involve. (Damn, I'm getting a headache just thinking about it. D really used to kill me with that talking in circles thing) Then I started thinking- well hell. He said "preciate it" didn't he? That implies some air of finalization on the topic, doesn't it? And that was that. Until the pitiful text message popped into my head again.

It takes balls to just put yourself out there like that. Ladies and/or Gents - how many times have you sent a text like that? Grasping for a hope that maybe you can salvage a spark you felt was there. Hell, I know I have! So don't front like you don't know what I'm talking about. He deserves an answer. No matter what feelings may get hurt or how long the back and forth may be. Bump that. There will be NO back and forth. I'll say my peace and that's that. Keep it 100- right?


Loves and Likes Ya => even if you keep it 100. lol

Dave and BUSTERS

So...remember that post I did about the Sunday night date at Dave and Buster's with Ced? I mean- I know it was a while ago but Jeez Louise, I've been busy slacking! : p  Annnnywho! Usually Ced is blowing up my phone like he don't know no other numbers in the world. (I know that my grammar is incorrect but I like it like that)  So I found it unusual that I haven't heard anything from him that day. Especially since we were supposed to be meeting up later that night. I was wishing on all my wishes that he'll cancel, so I wasn't gonna call or text him or NOTHING. I was gonna be cool as a cucumber. After taking a nap and starting to settle in for a LifeTime movie, I look at the time (6 something), looked outside (light rain, dark clouds) and figured I'd give the lil negro a call to see what was up. We never set a time or anything like that and with any luck, he'll back out of it.

No such luck, Chuck. I find myself traveling north on 85 on the way to D&B. The whole time I'm trying to use Jedi mind tricks on myself- telling myself how good of a time I'm about to have. I mean, after all, it IS D&B and EVERYBODY has fun at D&B. Right? Wrong again!

I'm waiting on him- A-DAMN-GAIN- and now I'm thinking: Chelle, what the hell is going on? Why are you giving this guy so many chances? He's a good guy, that's why. Well hell, that doesn't mean he's good for you. What the hell can he do for you anyway???? Good question.

He comes breezing in and we hug and he's like super duper stoked. And I'm jealous. Because I wish that I shared the same sentiment. He wants to know what game produces the most tickets and we head over to where the basketball game is so he can play that and I can play skeeball. Unfortunately, all the skeeball lanes are taken so I'm stuck watching him go hamm on the game. And when I say hamm, I really mean SPAZ because he's spazzing out on the fact that the game only gives him 2 balls to shoot with and he only wins 2 tickets. So he's switching to the next goal that gives him like 3 or 4 balls to shoot with and I'm horrified at the fact that he's stealing balls from the other goals around him while other people are trying to play the game. Yeeeaaahhh. Embarassed, I walk away unnoticed and start to roam the area for games I would want to play. I really wasn't feeling it y'all. I wound up going to the bathroom and sitting in the rocking chair. I texted my sister and checked my facebook and my sister helped me remember I was on a date so I left the bathroom and went back to the basketball game. He was still there. By this time a skeeball lane has opened up. I flex my skeeball skills and I'm hitting the 50,000 and 40,00 and a couple of times I amost get the 100,000 and this boy is trying to tell me how to get the 100,000. So I ask if he wants to play (but I say it in the sista-gurl way, YOU know) but this fool used up ALL his tokens on the b-ball game. So I swipe my card and let him play one lane while I play another. With the way he skeeballed? He needed to ask ME for advice.

So we cash in the tickets and I'm ready to go but when I look at the time, only 45 minutes has passed! I promise it felt like every bit 3 hours! lol. I suggest we go see a movie. He wants to eat first. I'm thinking: I'm only gonna get a drink and an appetizer so we can speed this process up. We sit down and order our drinks. Chile, I ordered a DRANK! Some peach concoction. Peach Schnapps, Peach puree, vodka, and some other type of juice. He's bugging because...he's never seen anyone order a drink before? I mean, maybe not really, but it felt that way by the way he looked at me. And then he says,

"Wow. So you drink? Am I gonna have to drive you home tonight?"

 Off of one drink? Is he serious? By that time I was wishing two things=> 1. That D&B wasn't 25 mins from my house so I can 2. Tell the bartender to keep the drinks coming. He looks at the menu and says he doesn't have a taste for anything on the menu and that he can go for sushi. I roll my eyes on that and ask if he can ALWAYS go for sushi. I order a magherita pizza and he's sitting there, watching the game and watching me eat. AWKWARD. Conversation was LAME. He was a LAME and I was ret ta go. I got out my wallet and he stops me- I'm wondering if he's ACTUALLY gonna pay for something (he didn't have to pay for my gamecard since I still had one left from before with some tokens on it. Ain't like he asked ANYWAYS) but NOOOOOO! He wants to be a nosy ass and try to look at the cards in my wallet. Nigga is you stuck on stupid? Getthafuck outta my wallet! I was gone y'all. He reached for the hug- I sidestepped that joint like I was T.O. on the field. Too through y'all. That happened on the 28. I haven't answered nan call from him since. No texts. Don't deal with him in class. It is what it is.

You know what's funny? That day of the sushi date? Earlier that day I sent Sauce a text to see if he wanted to grab something to eat. His bum ass was still sleep and that's how I wound up with Ced. Sauce read the blog and thought it was hilarious and told me that I would've had to pay for him as well because he was broke too. I told him that I wouldn't have mind, and that was 100% true. First of all- Sauce and I have HISTORY. Which means that I don't mind paying his way from time to time because there were plenty of times when he paid my way. Second of all- The nature of the relationships are different. Sauce is on FB status. That allows him to be the bum-ass that he is. I don't have any expectations from him- I mean, other than one- but I'm not expecting him to escort me places and try to woo me. Ced was ultimately gonna be on boyfriend status. That means- you need to step your shit up. Because Kandi couldn't have sung it better:

"I don't ask no man for shit, and I don't beg no man for shit, but if he ain't spoilin me with gifts, than that ain't the man I'm with"

Meaning, yeah, I can pay my way but that doesn't mean I should HAVE to pay my way ALL the time. Spoil me. My last ex D. Yeah he was a cheapskate. But that didn't stop him from buying me flowers or gummi bears or books from time to time. I didn't ask him to, or even give hints, he just knew what kind of girl he was dealing with. A prize! Stop laughing y'all! lol

Loves and Likes Ya!

How You Can Lose A Friend

This topic had been on my mind since I wrote y'all about me and Anjail cyberstalking E.G.F. (BTW: They checked out of the hotel at the end of February and are in LA now, getting their contracts and things in order. I wish them soo much luck!) I'm pretty sure y'all ain't on stalker status, but remember when I told y'all sbout me being snowed in and how something else happened? Well this is it, and it took me a hot lil minute to think of what I should call it but after a conversation with my Grandma, I decided to name it How You Can Lose A Friend- seeing as how APPROPRIATE it is.

My girl Shay. *shakes head and sighs* Is in love. Not that "Will and Jada" love. More like that "Jody and Yvette" love. Well hell- not even that. She's in that "stupid love" where all logical reasoning goes out the window. We're talking about a girl who has sooo much common sense coupled with a good amount of book smarts. And she just can't let it go. THAT kind of love? I just can't want y'all.

She's been with this guy for like 5 or 6 years. She's the father of her only son, who's 4. His career isn't all the way legal, but he's kept up a lifestyle that she's grown accustomed to. He's good looking- can be sexy if you like the tall dread-head look. Eh- he ain't got enough meat on his bones for me though. But he's a ho y'all. Like STRAIGHT UP. He has at least 3 kids outside of their relationship. He's cheated on her with numerous friends and cousins and...there's suspicion that he also cheated on her with her twin sister. I'll pause while you digest that tidbit.

So, on the phone with Grandma- she asked me how her other granddaughter was doing. At that time she (Shay) was going through some things with the boyfriend and I told Grandma about it. That's when she told me:

"I know her relationship is bad, but don't you say anything about it. You listen when she talks to you- but don't give her any advice. The quickest way to lose a girlfriend is talking about her relationship, because at the end- you guys won't be talking but she'll still be with that no-good man."

Sad but true. I've never really said anything about her relationship anyways because I know she gets it enough from our honorary mother Trina. But soo many emotions go through me when she tells me about the next thing he did. It's like I'm mad at him, mad at her, sad for her...chile *rolls eyes* She's a good person and she continues to let this guy walk over her time and time and time again. I don't get it. Maybe because I've never been in love. Or maybe because I've never seen any female in my family be stupid in love like that. Either way, it's not a good look.

So now she's moved out from the house. Got her own lil place and getting her Miss Independent on. I was proud of her. At first. Then I found out that she told him he has 6 months to get his stuff together. REALLY?!?!? He's had 6 YEARS to get his shit together. The guy is pushin 30. If he ain't worked it out by now? It ain't gonna get worked out boo-boo! Leopards don't change their spots and he ain't gon' change his cheating ways. Now how can I tell her all of that and still keep our friendship? Yea, thought so!

Loves and Likes Ya

Why Marriage May Not Be For Me

   I know I didn't really touch on it much on Wild Wing Night Pt II but Antoine? Yeah. There was a minute when we were talking and he was just straight up staring at my girls. This was after the initial hello, and before the invite to Onyx. While I was sitting at the bar and talking with other people, I noticed his behivior. Flirting casually with Marci and some other white chicks. I gave him a little smile to let him know that I'm not the kind of girl to go running my mouth about other people's business like that. (I just write a blog about other people's business that anybody in the world can read. Yep. SMH) So on the way back from the restroom, he kinda corners me and that's when I mentioned that the idea of Onyx was bouncing around. He says-

"You know what happens at the Wild Wing, STAYS at the Wild Wing"
"Ain't nobody stuntin you boy!"
"Just sayin. You lookin good tonight. Got the girls out saying hello,"

SN: On the real, I am BLESSED so the girls are pretty much ALWAYS saying hello. They just happened to be saying it a little louder that night! lol. Still, I find myself self-consciously pulling my tank top up.

"Unh-unh. Don't do that, you have them out for a reason."

And he licks his lips. Officially turning me on and simultaneously turning me off at the same time.

Marriage. Especially when you're young. I dunno, it doesn't seem like the GREATEST idea in the book to me. Hell, I can barely keep interested in a boyfriend, I REALLY can't see myself with a husband. After working at the hotel for 4 years, I've seen it all. Married guys checking in with the band on their hand, wife calls by 9, guy is out hitting the bars by 10, comes back with random girl by 2. And let's not forget about Top Flight, who stills text and flirts with me on the regular. You know what though? I see the relationship that Barack and Michelle have, Will and Jada, and it does give me some kinda hope for the future. It's like you can look at them and see that not only are they husband and wife, but they're best friends as well. That's a relationship with a strong foundation. And I do believe that friendship is the best foundation for a relationship. Hell, I can get turned on by looking at someone with long thick fingers, but will we be friends?

I want to know what happened to taking the time to get to know somebody? You can't possibly learn everything you need to know about a person by a couple of talks on the phone and a couple of awkward dates! Shit takes time, I likes to take my time before approaching a new relationship. Imma need you (the guy) to stop worrying about being put in the "friend zone" just because I'm taking it slower than what you're used to. Just know that if you WERE put in the friend zone- you were gonna be put there regardless of the time it took.

Loves and Likes Ya

"Yo- You're A Christian?"

   Wooooow! I knew he was kidding because I've told him about my going to church, but it still stung a little bit. Because my days off pretty much always fall on Sunday and Monday, I spend Sunday morning at church praying about the sins I'm about to commit Sunday night and maybe Monday. SMH. It's a damn shame. Being raised in the church with strong religious values, I've always been a little conflicted. I have accepted Christ as my Savior. I know right from wrong. Where my problem lies is the fact that I'm a very sexual being. I tried praying but it doesn't work as well.

I'm pretty good about resisting temptation. How I do that is remove myself from any situation that I know will lead me to be alone with an attractive male. (J/K, Gosh- I'm not THAT horny!) but you know what kind of situations I'm talking about- late night (well, it doesn't have to be late nights) an intimate group of friends (well, it doesn't have to be that intimate) maybe a couple of drinks (well, drinks may or may not be involved) Scratch that- I have to remove myself from any situation that I know will lead me to be alone with an attractive male. Case in point- Ol' buddy with the study session.

I was doing just fine with my celibacy. I haven't had any since the day after Christmas and I wasn't sliding down any banisters so I think all was good. HOWEVER- ol' buddy woken up SOMETHING someone inside of me that hasn't been out in a while. HELLO LOLA!

With the arrival of Lola, came the beginnings of my spiritual battle. How can I be up in church, and not just up in church- but pretty INVOLVED in the church, and act like this heathen? At one point I was holding on to my virginity with an iron-clad grip that my ex hated me for. I was 19 and still figuring out my direction in life. I don't know when it was that I realized, "Uh Chelle- you're still calling yourself a virgin but you're doing everything but having vaginal intercourse. Fantastic." And another thing my ex hated me for. Needless to say- my ex didn't pop the cherry, instead it was this guy I worked with and only knew for about 2 weeks? Yeah- no idea where my head was. Again- I was 19.

I'm off subject. Lola got introduced to the ex. The ex who hated my iron-clad grip and "Don't put it in" sayings. The ex I've been hanging out with lately. Yeah. Dammit my sister was right. But not in the "relationship" capacity because I don't need that drama- remember, I still have goals to achieve- but in the stereotypical "FB" capacity that seems to haunt so many ex-relationships. I mean, it seems perfect! I have a monkey on my back that needs to get the hell off (yes that pun was intended) and he's the perfect guy. Real laid back- doesn't seem to be prone to stalker status (cuz YOU KNOW *heh heh heh*. Lemme stop chile) and we're already familar with one another so no awkward moments. And yeah- it was him that said that slick comment in the title of this post. Gotta love him though.

So I'm talking to my sister Monday during our dinner date and I ask her if she ever feel guilty about having premarital sex, especially since we seem to be getting so involved with our church and church family lately.

"What like DURING sex?"
"Not really, just like anytime. Do you ever think, 'This is wrong?'"
"I mean, it's more like a fleeting thought but it's much much MUCH later. Depends on how good he put it down. I may not be in my right mind yet!"

I felt her on that one. Because Sunday night with the ex was....DAMN. Everytime I think about it, I just shake my head and blush. Yeah- it was like that. Makes me kinda glad that I didn't go to church that morning.

Loves and Likes Ya

Sexually Intimidated?

**WARNING: POST IS RAUNCHY Y'ALL!*

Sorry to interrupt the flow of  "The One That Got Away and Eating Leftovers" but I had to blog a quickie- and the pun is used in every sense of the word.

I was eventually gonna blog about this new friendship/relationship that seems to be blossoming between me and my classmate C. He's a chill dude. Born in Africa, moved to NY when he was 9. Got his stuff TOGETHER (or at least it seems anyway) So I'm helping him with his computer class and with the History homework and we're at his place. Now we've been study buddies for about 2 weeks now and I knew that -eventually- something sexual may happen.

I don't quite know how it started. I think it was just him being fresh (damn I love the abrasiveness of an up north guy) feeling on my chest. That was a turn-ON. Kisses and licks placed on my chest? Definite turn-ON. I felt him rubbing against my thigh. IT'S ON...or so I thought.

Dammit, I promised I took like 5 good sucks and with a soft caress to the underseam of his sack, he says
"Oh no. I'm bout to bust"
WHAT THE FUCK! That's fine. It's still kinda early, I'm willing to wait a couple of minutes for him to compose himself and then show me that he can hold his own. Except...he doesn't. No more foreplay, he just shows me pictures of when he was stationed in Japan. I'm FRUSTRATED! Y'all- it's been a while since I've had a good release and I just KNEW that I was gonna be good to go but nooooo.

Obviously he was embarassed but I would think that as a guy- with a healthy male ego- he would step it up. I mean, I really was having a good time and I was looking forward to him showcasing his skills. But instead it was like he was trying to forget it happened, changing his mind as fast as Beyonce changes clothes in a concert. Is it because he was a bit intimidated by my skills? Like kinda scared? Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But the icing on the cake was him calling me about 10 minutes after I left his house. I think it was because I told him my ex lived around the corner from him and he wanted to see if I was going over there. I probably SHOULD have! Lemme take a quick cold shower to calm my hot ass down! lol

Loves and Likes Ya

Everybody is Prejudiced?

It's true. I mean, I think I've always done a good job of hiding my prejudices, but working at the hotel reeeaaallly brings it out tenfold. So what brings this topic about? Well remember how I told you that we got robbed? Of course Yolanda doesn't feel comfortable working at night. I mean- the guy flashed a gun at her while the great room was filled with guests, so can you imagine how she would feel working alone while everyone is in their bed? She put up a brave front but the managers were acting like they didn't know why she felt nervous. Yea, they're real assjacks. So Trina is tellin her that she needs to milk the company as much as she can- paid time off and use this as an opportunity to get the day shifts she always wanted. Yolanda does all that and in the middle of negotiations about her day shifts, Trina and Darlene talk. Basically Darlene was talkin out the side of her neck (like always) and Trina had to set her straight (thats my girl!) and told her that if it would've happened to Mel or Leslie, than she wouldn't be reacting this way. Darlene says she's not prejudiced and Trina straight up told her- "Yes you are. Everyone is prejudiced"

 

That was deep. Everyone is prejudiced. Whether its sex, age, race, or social classes, everyone is prejudiced. We already have preconceived notions of other people in our minds and we're constantly encouraging people to prove those notions true. When a walk-in comes to my front desk, the first question I have to ask myself is: Do I think this person will uphold the reputation of this hotel? That question alone is prejudiced. In a world full of gummi bears and lollipops, anybody who walks through the that hotel door with money, should be able to get a room. In reality, if you look suspicious (let that be read as: young/black or pwt/don't enunciate your words/colorful clothes or raggedy clothes with an odor) you're liable to be told that we're sold out or the price will get jacked up by 75% (we're not taking any chances) At first, when they told me to do that, I was a bit flabbergasted. Now, I practice it almost every weekend. Yea I'm prejudiced, because if a cute guy comes up to the desk, he's gettin that room! lol

 

This list WILL offend someone. Sorry

 

THINGS I KNOW FROM WORKING AT A HOTEL

this stuff is true like 62% of the time!

 

• Old people and Middle Eastern Indians WILL haggle you about the prices. This is a give in. Old people will ask for AAA on top of AARP on top of Military. Indians will ask about special rates for Priority Club, or any other affialition.
• Black people WILL ask for a "hook-up" They see a sista girl behind the desk and they want to pretend like we play cousins so they can use my discount? For Real? And will YOU be making my car payments, insurance, and cell phone bills? Didn't think so. You ain't THAT damn cute.
• Middle aged white people are bothersome. This is a broad generalization that works for me 50% of the time. Oh they whine. They whine so much that I have to check my name tag to make sure it doesn't say babysitter!
• White people don't listen! They don't. It's like talking to a brick wall. And if they pretend to listen, which is a courtesy they offer occasionally, they're thinking how to prove you wrong. You can't tell me that I'm not telling you the truth! ALL 4 out of the 5 white people I work with do this on the daily.
• Young people WILL party. No matter what they tell you. Some people will come to the room and bottles (and kitties) will be popped. I don't care all that much- as long as they pass the bottle! :p

There's more but I can't quite think of it now. What are you're prejudices?

Loves and Likes Ya

First Order Of Business...

It's my first post and I'm at a lost for words. The expectations are kinda high here. I have to write something witty and charming and ...aw hell, let me keep it real. Because I'm sure only 2.5 people will actually read this blog and I don't have to worry about impressing nan one of those people. So until something happens, I'll holla at ya'll later

Loves and Likes YA!