My Wild Wing Night PT III

I WAS prepared this time! At least mentally. I'm sorry, but I refuse to bust out the ho clothes just for Wild Wing. Carmen came out with the heels and leopard leggings, black t-shirt knotted on the side, and the black wig back up in the clip. Unfortunately, she started the party early- with beer and raspberry vodka. While she's in the car, she's pouring the rest of the vodka into a small Sprite bottle. I sip on some mixed with lemonade and Sprite. We make it to Wild Wing without any distractions. As soon as we get inside- I see some guests from the hotel. DAMN. Can't show our ass tonight. We see Michelle at the bar and we all hug and whatnot. Carmen asks for a cup of ice and a cup of sprite so she can pour her vodka into it. I point out the guests sitting in the booth and Carmen being Carmen, goes to the booth and sits down and proceeds to flirt with them. About a minute later she's calling me over and saying "What drink do you want? They're gonna buy it"

I'm shaking my head because as a general rule- I do not like to socialize with guests outside of the property. And that rule was made for a good reason. Maybe one day I'll blog about the horny Nigerian who kept asking me questions like "What's your favorite sexual position?" and "Are you fucking your boyfriend tonight?" or I could blog about the guy who was old enough to be my dad and started off sending misspelled texts, upgraded to naked pics, and graduated to jerking off on the phone while repeatedly saying my name as my stepmom threatens him. I had to change the number after that. Yeah. Can't wanna do it. But I'm sliding in the booth between the two guys as I'm sipping on my margarita and all seems to be well. Or so I thought.

I'm not quite sure WHEN I realized that I was a bit effed up- buuuutt I was. And Carmen was worse. I think I realized I was tore up when I got up to go to the bathroom and I swayed a little TOO hard to the left. I realized Carmen was drunk off her ass when she unintentionally flashed the guests her boob when showing them her tattoo. And I'm not talking about a quick nip-slip either. The tit was out in full view like she didn't feel a breeze. I'm like- "CARMEN!" and the guests are getting a bit nervous. (Did I forget to mention that they were middle aged white guys? This incident was probably a bit too much for them) I saw the awkward glances passed between the 3 of them and I say, "I think you may need to go to the bathroom." And with the help of the guests, I haul her drunk ass out of the booth and we  both wobble to the restroom.

While we're in the bathroom, all I could think about was- "I'm hella fucked up and I'm the one driving. I need to get sober fast." You wanna know how messed up I was- not as bad as Carmen, but bad enough to suggest us going outside sooooo......what? I can get fresh air and be immediately sober? SMH. Dumb. As. Hell. We sit down and who comes up to us? My boyfriend from the other night- Malachi. Looking yummy, nevermind the beer goggles. He says to Carmen, "Damn- you fucked up, I hope you're not driving." and I laugh as she tells him that she rode with me. He then turns to me and say "Ain't shit funny- you fucked up too- AND you're the one driving?" "I know," I reply and think again- how am I going to get sober? We all go inside and sit at the bar with Michelle, and Marci (white chick in design school) has joined us. Carmen took to molesting a boy that looked like he got in the place with a fake id. Malachi is sitting beside me at the bar, telling me to drink water, and ordering a glass for me. Carmen is sitting on the other side of me- saying, "Oooo Chelle! He got a BIG DICK! Feel this!" I'm running off at the mouth. Details are a bit fuzzy. I know I say something about how young the boy looked. And I definitely remembered taking pictures. I remember talking to Malachi about something and for some reason we took the conversation outside. Again- details are fuzzy but I'm 99.9% sure I was saying something inappropriate to him. Liquid courage. I DEFINITELY remember feeling him up. *sighs at memory. shakes head at being such a slutpuppy* If only I could be as brave as I pretend to be sometimes. Did we kiss? I honestly don't think so. I think. I wanna say no- maybe we came close?

But we went back inside, I think because by then the water was taking its toll on me and some dude in a tall white tee -ok, so I see some people just CAN'T let that trend go!- starts flirting with me, sending me googly eyes and whatnot. I smile back. I'm a flirt. Don't be brand new, lol. I see Michelle and Marci in the bathroom.

Michelle says, "Just how much did Carmen drink?"

 I tell her, "I dunno. She started drinking before I picked her up."

Marci says, "She told me that I need to sit down because I was taking all the black guys."

Wooow. I can't remember, but I think I laughed out loud on that one.

"She's drunk off her ass. She doesn't know what she's saying" I tell her.

 Meanwhile I'm thinking- She's only telling the truth. Jeez Louise! Liquid courage gets 'em all the time. We go back to the bar to find Carmen done bulldozed her way to the karaoke stage on some poor girl's set, dancing in the background. WOW. Hilarious. Guy at the bar is still making googly eyes. I'm on my 3rd cup of water and am going to the bathroom every 5 minutes. Everytime I go, I feel a LOT better. Seems to be something to that whole water thing after all. Eh- learn something new everyday.

Wild Wing is starting to close and Michelle suggests we all go to Waffle house and have Malachi drive us. I thought I was gonna sit in the front seat- because I had devious plans- but Michelle nipped that in the bud when she hopped her ass in the front. What is it about the grease that seem to just cure whatever hangover effects you may have? Carmen is steady trying to order some porkchop dinner and the cook is steady tryna tell her that they're out of porkchops. I wind up telling him-" Look, she's drunk as hell. Don't pay attention to her- just give her a patty melt." I don't really remember WHAT we talked about at the table. I think most of the time we were laughing at Carmen's drunk ass- who was quietly tearing up that patty melt. He drops us back off at the Wild Wing and wait- do I hear him trying to get Michelle's number who's- by the way- clearly on the hunt for some dick? And excuse me if that sounded a bit catty but I knew what was up when she hopped in the seat and when she slid in beside him at the booth in the Waffle House. And here comes Carmen with the liquid courage- "You dirty. How you gonna ask for her number when you tryin to holla at my girl? Thats dirty yo." Michelle tries to laugh it off and she gets out the car. Carmen and I get out and get in my car. Malachi gets out of his car and makes his way toward me when Michelle pulls up in her car to talk about....what? A bunch of nothing. I start laughing at Carmen when she says- "What does this ho want? Besides some black dick? Greedy ass white girls." Really, it's nothing new to me. After all- most of my friends, at one point, were white. She left after 2 minutes and after rolling down the windows so Carmen can have some air circulating, I join Malachi outside. We chat about some things and I'm on my way. Got home safe and Malachi and I talk some more on the phone. I think that maybe I'm going to forgo going to the Wild Wing. Don't wanna make it old- which it's already starting to be- but it is a good start to getting Lola on out there some. I'm young and I'm single, I think I need to start acting like it!

Loves and Likes Ya!