Another Case Against Marriage

   I meant to blog about this a while ago. Before that whole drama happened with the pills, Carmen was talking about taking me to this reggae spot and Terrell was all excited at the possibility of having me tipsy and windin up on him. SMDH. We were going to go on a Friday but I had to switch my plans up to save my vacay hours for the trips I have coming up. So the following Thursday, Carmen calls Terrell to see if he can lend her $20. He said he was broke. So tell me why he comes up to the job- fresh haircut, fresh outfit, and- the icing on the cake- a rented Dodge Challenger. Carmen and I are looking at each other like- WTF?

   Carmen asks him, "Whatchu got the car for?" He replies, "Just wanted to get it." Carmen says, "Oh, now I see why you ain't got 20 dollars to give me." He answers, "My wife got the car for me." Upon further conversation, I deducted that he got the car so we all can have something nice to roll up in when we go to the car. Let that be read as: he got the car to show off. Chile PUHLEEZE! Not impressed!

   How in the world you get your WIFE to pay for a rental car that you're using to pull OTHER CHICKS? Where they do that at?! Apparently, Charlotte. LOL. If this guy isn't a straight up dawg....

Loves and Likes Ya!

Umm, Excuse Me? Are We Hating?!

   I've been trying to get my overtime hours like CRAZY! It seems as if the planets are aligning. After looking at apartment after apartment after apartment, Shara and I found a community that we both really really like and the price is looking right. Shara just got a dream job with this major health care system and me? Well, no new jobs for me but maybe a job possibility. Trina just accepted a position at her college, if all goes well with her training, she's going to quit. Shay will be bumped up to housekeeping manager and I will be assistant. Trina thinks it will be a good idea. Shay doesn't. I wasn't expecting that at all. I thought she would've been like, "Yeah gurl, C'mon to tha back of da house!"
   Talking with Trina, I found out that Shay has been on some other stuff as of late.Trina is housekeeping manager and Shay and Anjail are her assistants. Anjail is fully involved with her school schedule and can't commit to the job as much as she could during the summer. I remembered Shay saying something to me a couple of months ago about why Anjail can't come to the job during breaks in her schedule like Trina did. I had to explain it to her as nicely as possible (because she's on the sensitive side. She'll dish it, but can't take it) 1st: Trina is a manager, this is her career. That means she will have to make certain sacrifices. Anjail doesn't want to be in the hospitality industry. Chick is tryna be a doctor. Why stress over the unnecessary? 2nd: Trina's school is only 15 minutes away. Anjail's school is a good 25 mins away- and that's on a good day. Who will waste gas and bust ass for an hour break? Makes no sense!
   So anyway- like I was saying- Trina and I were talking, and she was telling me about Shay's complaining about Anjail. Trina told her to stop it. Then Shay was upset because Anjail went to DC with some of her old college roomates and didn't invite her. She was upset because she felt as if Anjail thought that she's not "educated" or "refined" enough to be around her college friends. NEWS FLASH: She didn't invite me EITHER! My feelings weren't hurt. Anjail hasn't seen her friends in a while and wanted to do something before the semester started. What we look like busting up in their reunion? Chile BOO!
   But again, Shay has always been sensitive like that. When I started going out with Carmen, she was upset that I didn't invite her. Carmen and Shay are cordial to one another- but that's about it. Why would I make the situation uncomfortable for the both of them? I thought she was kidding or something at first but she was SERIOUSLY mad about it! Let's see if this makes sense: 1st: Carmen and Shay don't get along like that. 2nd: They wouldn't be able to be themselves and have fun. 3rd: Shay has to be at work like 6 and 7 in the morning. 4th: She needs a babysitter for her baby. Me and Carmen don't really plan our happenings. It's more like: Me: I can go for a drink, you down? Carmen: Yeah girl. Let me wash my ass first though.
   But where is the love?  Going back to the subject of why black women can't be friends. One of the reasons, jealousy. It's ugly y'all! Shay may just be going through some things now or something. I'm sure everything will be okay once she's okay.

Loves and Like Ya!=> but don't you dare try to bring me down.

Celebration and a Tragedy Pt II

     Still riding high from my FABULOUS Tuesday night, Wednesday came and went. Thursday started off better as I got my lazy bones up early and handled a lot of business before my shift. I picked Carmen up and was chattering away, not even noticing her one word responses. It wasn't until she wearily asked, "Chelle, if I tell you something, can you promise not to tell?" that I realized something was wrong. I was about to give her the, "Now YOU KNOW" look but one quick glance at her red eyes and I hurried up and parked the car in a parking lot.
   "What is it?" I asked, as the worst automatically came across my mind. But I know she didn't have her checkup yet, so the possibility of the news being cancer was small. "Did something happen to your mom? Is it Bruchon?"
   "Yes girl." And as she told me the events, I couldn't possibly have guessed it in a million years. The story seemed to have come out of the latest Zane book I read (The Hot Box. GREAT read by the way) and I handed her plenty of tissues as she poured out her disbelief.
     In short: Carmen told her boyfriend the night before that she was gonna stay at the job since she did breakfast and has to turn around and do the sundowner later. She decided to come on home anyway since the beds weren't that comfortable for her. When she got to her apartment building, she noticed a strange car parked in front of her door. She knocked on the door as she looked for her keys but no one answered. She finally found her keys and walked inside to find Bruchon sitting on the couch .
   "You ain't hear me knock?" She asked him. He had a dumb look on his face as he shook his head no. She asked what he was doing and he said nothing. She went to the bedroom and he followed her, she noticed the bathroom door was closed. She walked around to the other entrance of the bathroom, with Bruchon still on her heels. She tried to open the door but someone was holding the doorknob from the other side.
   "Who the fuck is in the bathroom?" She asked as she tried to get in. "Nobody" Bruchon responded, watching her get upset. She finally got the door open and what did she see? A man dressed only in boxers. She looked from one man to another and wheels began to turn in her head, taking in the wet shower curtain, the open jar of Vaseline on the counter, and both men in boxers. "What the fuck is goin on?" She asked, looking at the other guy putting on his clothes. "Nothin man. He was sick." Bruchon answered. "No nigga, YOU sick. I can't believe you a fuckin faggot! 7 fuckin years and you wanna be a fuckin fag!?" And that's when all hell broke loose. Bruchon flew out the door with his pants in his hands, diving into the guy's car. Carmen got a couple of licks in on the other guy before he left.

     "I'm gonna be okay though Chelle. It just hurts. We've been together for 8 years. We've been down here together for 7. We all we got down here and he does this shit? We're not just boyfriend, girlfriend, we're best friends. It makes me wonder if he was always like this. You know what I'm thinkin now? I wonder if the first time he cheated on me, if it was with another man. Huh. A fuckin faggot. I packed all my stuff up though. I'm gonna live with Joyce. I can't be in the same house with him. I gotta a good check comin up. If I work some more hours, the check after that should be good and I can have my own place in a month."
    
     And just like that, I thought she was good to go. I mean- not TOTALLY good to go, because that is a traumatic experience- but she seemed to be a woman with a plan and that's good right? Or so I would've thought.

Going Natural

And I don't mean that kind of natural- get your mind out of the gutter! (Although it's likely I just put it there, lol) I've been toying with the idea of going natural for a while now. I think it's this damn heat we've been having, sweatin a sista gurl's perm out.

For those who are unaware, "going natural" is a term used for women who stop relying on relaxers (perms) to get their hair straight. The whole thing seems to be a bit taboo for some reason, but starting to get more recognition thanks to Chris Rock's film "Good Hair"  A good bit of people in my life are already natural. Trina has dreads. Anjail sports a funky fro mohawk. Shara never had a perm in her life and lives off of pressing combs. Ms. Crazy (my stepmother) rocks the teeny weeny fro. Even my dad wears the Steve Hightower (you know, Steve Harvey's character?) But when I told my mom, her response was...

"Well it's a good thing we have mixed ancestry in our family. (insert laugh) You can rock it and still look cute."

Sheer ignorance with that first comment. I look like every other black girl out here. So what if we have White and Irish and Indian in our family? EVERYBODY'S family has something mixed up in there. Boy I tell ya. I can compare her sense of family pride with the sense of pride Hitler had for his nation. Born a Potter, Die a Potter. SMH. Her comment coupled with Shay's son's comment:

"Why do you wear your hair like that?"
"What? You don't like it?"
Shakes head no. "You should wear it like that-" Points to his mom's relaxed hair.

It's enough to give a girl a complex! It's a shame how much pressure is put on women and this invisible standard of beauty. And it's even worse that some women judge each other on this invisible standard. I'm not trying to break down barriers or anything like that, I'm just trying to keep it real and simple for me. NahMean?

Loves and Likes Ya=>No matter how your hair may look.

Being Prepared for Business: The Post Formerly Known As- Are Black People Less Prepared For The Business World Than White People?

So I told you about JoyKILL? Well, I've been observing her habits and mannerisms (since I'm stuck with the broad once a week and I have to relieve her twice a week) And I began to wonder...Are we (black people) less prepared for the business world than white people?

Joy is actually Hispanic, but doesn't look it. Her first name is Consuella but she goes by Joy to eliminate any discrimination. She once said she can speak Spanish fluently- but she can't tell anyone. She loves office supplies, carries around a day planner in which she diligently writes reminders for appointments and keeps track of her hours, she once confessed that she spent days agonizing over her signature because her mother told her it was important...blah blah blah, sorry, I have the tendency to just tune her out after a while.

I just kinda looked at these characteristics as...well, trying to keep it nice, as little things that make Joy so "special" but after my interviews with that other hotel, I had some more time to think. I'm not quite sure where I acquired my skills for job interviews and workplace conduct. I'm thinking it was school, but not once do I remember my parents sitting me down and giving me tips for a successful interview and how to succeed in the business world. I mean, the only thing I can remember is my Dad drilling the need to be on time into my head, but that's about it. Trina talks all the time about appearances when it comes to professionalism.  She fussed at her daughter when she dyed her dreads some bright red and got her lip pierced and got a tattoo on her wrist. Her exact words to her child was: "What kind of job are you expecting to have besides McDonald's?"  I've never had that talk about professionalism with my parents either. Probably because on the outside I'm kinda boring. No flashy clothing, I prefer to keep it classy, and the most drastic thing I've ever done with my hair was when I got highlights. Imagine my horror when the deep mahogany color the stylist mixed became a bright red once applied on my head. The more I washed it though, the more the color came out, leaving it a pretty nice color:

When I first came to work, with the bright red color, I got a lot of compliments. My general manager, wanting to see what the hoopla was, came out of her office and though she tried, couldn't conceal the initial shock. She covered it up by smiling and saying, "That's very different on you." I expressed to her that the color turned out to be waaay brighter than what I intended and I saw her facial muscles begin to relax as she realized that I didn't do it on purpose. Trina told me the color was nice and although she didn't approve when Shay wanted the same color, my demeanor was able to carry the color without it appearing too "ghetto"  

Doubletree didn't seem to have the same opinion however, and asked if I minded dying my hair a more "natural" color if I were hired for the job. My feelings weren't hurt because, once again, the color wasn't really what I wanted anyway. But the more I started looking at my hair, I realized that wasn't a damn thing wrong with it. By the time I went on that interview, it was the color of the above picture, which wasn't that crazy. I did get hired and kept the "If they don't say nothing- I ain't gon' say nothing" policy. Worked fine, considering I resigned from the position anyway. 9 damn 50. Are they hitting the pipe?

And maybe there is a gross generalization with my title, maybe it's just that MY PARENTS weren't actively preparing me for the business world, but looking at some of my coworkers, it does make me wonder if they had any preparation themselves. I mean, just look at Christine. So the more I type, the more I realize that this post, well the original title isn't all that. I do wonder if good judgment and good upbringing replace the lessons that should be taught when it comes to the business world? Maybe that's why my parents never really mentioned anything. I have a good head on my shoulders and, for the most part, my parents see that so maybe that's why they didn't deem it necessary? *shrugs shoulders* What do you think?

Loves and Likes Ya

This Is Who We Look Up To In 2009? Really?

It's just a bit unsettling for me to see grown ass women emulating the style of Barbie. As a girl who grew up with a Barbie Dream House, Pool House, Corvette, Jeep, Minivan, and I can go on, I understand the fascination with Barbies. I understand- the bitch has everything and can do anything in stilettos. But so does Kimora Lee Simmons, who insisted on being enterprising instead of just a piece of arm candy for her wildly successful husband. Seriously, have you SEEN her CLOSET? I mean, I'm not tryna knock a chick's hustle because I got a couple of her songs on the Pod, must Nicki Minaj call herself a harajuku barbie? 

And what's with this fascination of Marilyn Monroe? I'm not quite understanding that either. Not when we have stars like Dorothy Dandridge- who had more obstacles to overcome than Marilyn and she was the 3rd African American to be nominated for an Academy Award. Or Lena Horne, Diahann Carroll, Billie Holiday, hell Eartha Kitt! We have so many beautiful, talented, glamorous black women we can look up to- why Marilyn? How about the role models of today? Why are these girls trying to be Nicki? That's what's wrong with these kids nowadays? Lemme stop- cuz I can go on about this- trust me!

Loves and Likes Ya

SMDH...You Thought I Was Playin? LOL

Just a quick note (I promise I'll blog you something proper later!)

Christine is one of the housekeepers at my job. She comes through Saturday night while Shay was about to leave and I was doing my night audit thing. She wants to make a reservation at one of our ritzy sister properties. Now if you live in Charlotte- the hotel is in Ballantyne- if you don't live in Charlotte- the hotel is in one of those kind of areas where people have their nose so high in the air that you can see their boogers. Now let me describe Christine to you: black chick young african-american female, loud as hell a bit boisterous, slow as hell a bit dense, and ghetto as hell a bit uncouth. She's trying to play slick when me and Shay start to tease her about getting the room, but like I stated before- she's slow- so she doesn't know how to slick talk. Instead she chooses to neither confirm or deny{let that be read as: she repeatedly says "you stupid" or "you silly" and gives a goofy ass laugh} We knew the game though. Hell, we all grown and we've done that plenty o' times before. Why else would you use your employee discount?

I talk to Trina today (she's the housekeeping manager) and she tells me that Ballantyne calls her and says that Christine (with her SLOW ass) left a blunt in the room. WTF? My nigga- is you serious? And I usually don't drop N-Bombs but like Sommore say- This is some NIGGA SHIT. The consequences for her actions...they should be...I'm just flabbergasted by the whole thing! It's wrong for a multitude of reasons.

Reasons Why Christine Is Stupid As Hell!

(and while I type this list I am muttering under my breath: This is a dumb bitch, this is a dumb bitch...)

1. Weed is illegal, so be smart and don't get caught. Why didn't she clean up after herself? Hell, the girl IS in housekeeping!
2. Ballantyne is a non-smoking hotel, so she shouldn't have had it there in the first place.
3. She was using her EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT! Is you SERIOUS? It's illegal boo-boo! Your ass shoulda been FIRED for some shit like that!
4. And since she used her employee discount, it can be construed as misconduct in the workplace and can hinder her from any future jobs. WTF? Maybe homeboy had a proper D*Game and she lost her damn mind even though there wasn't much there in the first place

These are the type of people I work with. You thought I was playing? Naw dawg, I'm dead up. Wait 'til I blog about my general manager- you won't believe me but I keep it 100%.

Loves and Likes Ya

Why Black Women Can't Be Friends

It seems to be a hot topic. One of my favorite blogs has a post about it. Micheal Baisden held a show about it. So where is the love? Why can't most black women be friends? Now me, I have a very magnetic personality. People just fall in love with me after meeting me for the first time (ok, maybe the 2nd or 3rd time) add my sometimes 'too cute too be true' naivete and I have plenty of girls that wouldn't mind calling me up so we can socialize.

Often times I find myself on the listening end of people's problems, and even though an official research haven't been conducted, I have composed a short list of reasons why black women can't be friends. WARNING: THIS LIST MAY BE A BIT STEREOTYPICAL

JEALOUSY

    And honestly I could just stop there, because that's where the problem pretty much starts. I work at a place where out of 22 employees, 13 are black women. We're going to use my bestie/coworker, Shay, for this example. She started as a housekeeper, moved up to room inspector, and finally made her way to the front desk. Her boyfriend makes his money, maybe not in a taxable manner, but nonetheless baby girl was pushin a BMW, wearing all the COOGI/Forces/Jordans she can buy, and keeping her nails and hair DID. The same heffas that were riding backseat in the beemer and taking advantage of her hookups, were the same ones rolling their eyes and talking mad shit about her. Just thinking about it now has me a bit misty-eyed. We are talking about a girl who would just about give you the shirt off of her back and the same people she calls her 'friends' continue to do her dirty. Why? I think- and you can just call me the ghetto Dr. Phil- that the reason they put her down is because they want to be her. They envy the way she's living her life and they want in. First they start by hanging out with her, observing her habits and try to put them into play but it don't work like that. Friendships created out of jealousy can't properly manifest into a healthy union.

MEN

   It's sad that I even have to put that as a reason but hey- what can ya do about it? MEN are a problem because a Friendgirl A wants Friendgirl B's man. Or because Friendgirl B slept with Friendgirl A's man. Or because Friendgirl A and Friendgirl B LIKE the same man but he only likes one of them. Or better yet, Friendgirl A's cousin sexed Friendgirl B's man on the low and Friendgirl B found out from Friendgirl C, causing Friendgirl B to get mad at Friendgirl A for not telling her in the first place. Confused? So are they, that's why they're not friends anymore. Ok, now this example is a good one, poor Shay can't catch a break! One of the girls we hang tight with (went on our Thelma and Louise Vacay with) did something dead wrong. Shay's brother recently died and they had a candlelight service and a funeral. Tell me why homegirl didn't go to nan one of them because she was busy getting dicked down in another state? I'm sorry, maybe you're not understanding the full situation. She's already married and she scheduled a booty call in a city 2.5 hrs away before everything happened with Shay's brother. Now a good friend would postpone the booty call and give support to her grieving girl. She went on the call ANYWAY, came back the night of the funeral, and she took her black ass home. Didn't stop by the house to pay her respects or nothing. DEAD WRONG

END OF LIST

I told you it was going to be short! Lol. A guest passed by and happened to read some of the post. He didn't know it was that serious. Sad to say that it is. When we should be uplifting one another, we're steady trying to knock one another off of our 'pedestals' What is that all about? So what do you think? Did I leave a reason out?

Here is what I want you to do, men and women, for everything negative you say or think about a person- point out something positive about them. And if you can't think of anything positive- then dangnabbit- keep your mouth closed and think about the next pair of shoes you want to buy!

Loves and Like Ya!