SMH

You know what? Reading some of my past posts? LMFAO! Helps me realize just how CRAZY I am! I mean, I now understand why some most of my friends say that I have no sense. Because I don't! And moving on...

So, it's a Thursday night and I'm back at the ol' watering hole. Feeling good off a vodka/cranberry/orange juice and one malibu and coke. From across the bar a guy winks at me and motions to buy me a drink. I nod my head yes (because who in their right mind will turn down a free drink?) and he makes his way to the empty seat beside me. Sitting down, he introduces himself to me as Steve, and shakes my hand. I tell him my real name (lol) and we talk some.

Steve: So is your boyfriend a big man?
Me: Yeah. He's 7'4" and 400 lbs.
Steve:Well, it was nice talking to ya. (gets up and leave)

I admit, that threw me off guard. He's just gonna LEAVE? I don't even HAVE a boyfriend! I chuckled to myself and finished drinking my free malibu and coke. Steve catches my eye again and makes a "come hither" motion with his hands. I shake my head no just as Mr. Married Man came up to me. Me and him (MMM) walked outside for a bit so he can smoke his ciggie and we can catch up. Things weren't awkward, which was good. He asked where Carmen was and told me he saw her at the train station with her man. Then he asked how I was doing, because apparently it looks like I'm going through it?

MMM: So what's up Chelle? You lookin kinda...
Me: Well damn, and here I was thinking I looked kinda cute. I mean, I wouldn't necessarily kick myself out of the bed.
MMM (laughs then takes a drag): Nah ma, you know you're sexy as hell. I'm lookin in your eyes though. I know it ain't men problems. (I give him the- "NOW YOU KNOW" look) 99 problems but a nigga ain't one, hunh?
Me: Exactly.

MMM's phone goes off and I go back inside before any plans can be made. Steve is still at the bar and nodding his head at me. I tab out and make my way towards him.

Steve: Your boyfriend won't get jealous that I'm talking to you, will he?
Me: Yes.
Steve: Let him get jealous. I know dude ain't hittin it right anyway. How old are you?
Me: 24. How old are you?
Steve: Old enough. (let that be read as over 30 definitely)
Me: I don't have a boyfriend
Steve: You ain't got no boyfriend? (I shake my head no) Well I know you got boy toys then
Me: And what makes you think that?
Steve: Cuz I know. (He gives me a long lingering look) But after we hook up, you can't be stalking me. I got a job and shit.
Me: Is that right?
Steve: Girl don't you know? I'm a Scorpio. You know what that means?
Me: No. Please enlighten me (of course I know. Scorpi-HO)
Steve: That means I'm a FREAK. I'll lick you EVERYWHERE. Girl, I'll lick your EYEBROWS....TWICE!
(Sorry, tried to hold it, but exploded with a loud laugh that caught everyone at the bar's attention) And I love to eat pussy. These young guys out here (he has to be at least 10 yrs older than me with that statement) do it because they feel they have to. I do it because I love it. Choke me with your thighs. Smother me until I can't breathe. Let me up for air for 5 seconds then push my head back down. I love that shit.

Have I mentioned that I've been drinking?! Numbers where exchanged.

Loves and Likes Ya!