Night of Quotables

   Tonight was best described as the most hilarious and disfunctional game night I've had in a while. Carmen, David, Jamie, and I played the new edition Monopoly with the electronic banker. FUN. I'll just do some highlights:

Jamie (picking up the boomerang piece): What the f*ck is this? A big dick? F*ck it- call me Big Dick PLAYAAAA!

Carmen (pointing to a tattoo on her upper arm): This is my ex fiancee. He passed away. I farted in his mouth

David: My motto is- In my world, the girl comes 3 or 4 times before I do.
Jamie: Well my motto is- if I can't knock the bottom, I'll bang the hell out of the sides

Jamie: I got it all planned out. I'm going to be fresh out the shower with water running from my chest pubes to my ball fro and she's gonna grab me by the weiner...because she wants me

   Gosh, I know there's more but I just can't remember. I'm a bit distracted, I had some Boone's Farm and Will is calling me now. SMH. I get a text from David- trying to get me to come back over there. Then Will texts me wanting to know what I'm doing and Steve texts me asking the same damn thing. I'm blogging this shit then I'm going to bed while watching King of the Hill. SHIT. I'm good for the night. I'm not replying or answering SHIT.

Loves and Likes Ya!

Umm, Excuse Me? Are We Hating?!

   I've been trying to get my overtime hours like CRAZY! It seems as if the planets are aligning. After looking at apartment after apartment after apartment, Shara and I found a community that we both really really like and the price is looking right. Shara just got a dream job with this major health care system and me? Well, no new jobs for me but maybe a job possibility. Trina just accepted a position at her college, if all goes well with her training, she's going to quit. Shay will be bumped up to housekeeping manager and I will be assistant. Trina thinks it will be a good idea. Shay doesn't. I wasn't expecting that at all. I thought she would've been like, "Yeah gurl, C'mon to tha back of da house!"
   Talking with Trina, I found out that Shay has been on some other stuff as of late.Trina is housekeeping manager and Shay and Anjail are her assistants. Anjail is fully involved with her school schedule and can't commit to the job as much as she could during the summer. I remembered Shay saying something to me a couple of months ago about why Anjail can't come to the job during breaks in her schedule like Trina did. I had to explain it to her as nicely as possible (because she's on the sensitive side. She'll dish it, but can't take it) 1st: Trina is a manager, this is her career. That means she will have to make certain sacrifices. Anjail doesn't want to be in the hospitality industry. Chick is tryna be a doctor. Why stress over the unnecessary? 2nd: Trina's school is only 15 minutes away. Anjail's school is a good 25 mins away- and that's on a good day. Who will waste gas and bust ass for an hour break? Makes no sense!
   So anyway- like I was saying- Trina and I were talking, and she was telling me about Shay's complaining about Anjail. Trina told her to stop it. Then Shay was upset because Anjail went to DC with some of her old college roomates and didn't invite her. She was upset because she felt as if Anjail thought that she's not "educated" or "refined" enough to be around her college friends. NEWS FLASH: She didn't invite me EITHER! My feelings weren't hurt. Anjail hasn't seen her friends in a while and wanted to do something before the semester started. What we look like busting up in their reunion? Chile BOO!
   But again, Shay has always been sensitive like that. When I started going out with Carmen, she was upset that I didn't invite her. Carmen and Shay are cordial to one another- but that's about it. Why would I make the situation uncomfortable for the both of them? I thought she was kidding or something at first but she was SERIOUSLY mad about it! Let's see if this makes sense: 1st: Carmen and Shay don't get along like that. 2nd: They wouldn't be able to be themselves and have fun. 3rd: Shay has to be at work like 6 and 7 in the morning. 4th: She needs a babysitter for her baby. Me and Carmen don't really plan our happenings. It's more like: Me: I can go for a drink, you down? Carmen: Yeah girl. Let me wash my ass first though.
   But where is the love?  Going back to the subject of why black women can't be friends. One of the reasons, jealousy. It's ugly y'all! Shay may just be going through some things now or something. I'm sure everything will be okay once she's okay.

Loves and Like Ya!=> but don't you dare try to bring me down.

I Can't Believe You Work Next Door

     After work Tuesday night, I was gonna drop by the grocery store and buy a bottle of moscato to drink while watching The Golden Girls. (don't laugh, that show is the business) The closer I got to the store though, the more pathetic the idea seemed. Then I remembered that Royal Flush shots were on special at the WW so I swung by. The bar was kinda crowded but I found a seat next to this white guy. All I saw was a head of thick black hair. He spun around and HOT DAMN- if it wasn't a guest from the hotel. I shook my head and said aloud, "Dammit! I just can't leave my work at WORK!" He gave me a flirtatious grin and said- "Well, what're the odds?" Don't worry, you guys aren't missing any back story. He was just one of many guests who I exchanged inappropriate remarks with. So we did some small talk and I found out that he's not actually at my hotel this go-round but he crashed our Sundowner anyway. Sitting beside him was the front desk clerk from the hotel beside mine. I knew he looked vaguely familiar and he confirmed my suspicions when he reminded me that I went over there a couple of weeks ago to ask for change. He's a cutie, but I guess since he's like RIDICULOUSLY clap on/clap off bright, he didn't register in my memory bank. It was a good night as we chatted and drank and drank and chatted. The whole time Will, from the hotel next door, kept saying- "You're cool as shit. I can't believe you work next door." Like there was some doubt that I'm cool? Pssshaaaaw.
     Somehow, I wound up giving him a ride home and...he wound up giving ME a ride home! LMAO. It really isn't funny. I'm such a flippin slut, it's ridiculous. But I tell ya what- that was some Grade A+++. And the funny part was as he worked his stroke game- he kept saying, "I can't believe you work next door."

Loves and Likes Ya=> especially if you work next door, lmfao!

I'm Good...

Me: Most of the time, whenever I drink I either get sleepy of horny.
Paul: So either way you're heading to the bed.
Me (laughing): Never thought of it like that, but yeah.

Hotel Hookups

   In the midst of me working like a sharecropper, I looked up and realized...our hotel was CRAWLING with mancandy! I mean- whew! We're talking about my average guest being white married male aged from mid 30's to late 50's. I'm observing the place and seeing guys from mid 20's to mid 30's, looking good from all races. I had to tell the sales manager, "Girl, Chris! Thank you for giving me some mancandy to ogle at the desk. It makes work sooo much better!" That got a good laugh out of her.
   I first noticed this white guy, probably late 20's, early 30's. Nice fit body with a bald head that he kept gleaming. But y'all, I must admit I was a tad bit stumped. Because no matter how nice I was to him or how many flirty smiles I sent his way, he remained somewhat surly. I just chalked it up as a "L" and moved on to this other cute guy, Paul, from NY. Said he's Puerto Rican and Irish. That's the melting pot at it's finest. He made me a drink and after my shift, we sat outside and talked for a good 30 minutes, ending the night with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He's a cutie y'all so excuse me while I Chester Cheese for a bit.
   Moving on...I checked in this tall, lanky young black guy. He was a cutie as well (otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned him- duh!) but tall and lanky ain't my schtik so I passed. That did not stop me from hooking him up with Shara though. Tall T, my nickname for him, is in town for a month and a half for work. And guess who one of his co-workers is? Mr. Clean! You know- the bald-headed surly one. Turns out he's just really shy. Also in the mix is a young white guy who is just so cute in a shaggy kind of way. I just tell him, "You are so adorable! I'm gonna put you in my pocket." We call him The Kid or The Boy.
  Anjail and I just adopted Tall T,  Mr. Clean, and The Kid in our crew and I invited them to hang out with all of us for my birthday. Unfortunately my "boyfriend" Paul went back to NY, but he'll be back next week. And that is how I came to have one of the best birthdays in a loooong time!

Loves and Likes Ya!

Wrap It Up

Guest: Y'all have condoms here?

Me: Uh- that will be a no. But I do have saran wrap...

Boy I Tell Ya...

You just don't find good ol' fashioned ignorance like this anymore!

Me: I just need to see your ID and method of payment please.
Guest: There you go again with that. You know if you guys keep asking me that, I'm gonna have to find somewhere else to stay. (I give a polite chuckle) I'm serious. Asking for ID and credit cards leads to identity theft.
Me: Well I guess you're gonna have to find someplace else to stay because that's corporate policy.
Guest: Well is there a comment card I can fill out? Management really needs to do something about that.
Me: The comment card is in your room, but honestly filling it out will do no good. It is a corporate policy to verify identification with credit cards.
Guest: You know, the Nazis had a policy of exterminating Jews but that doesn't make it right.
Me: I'm not sure how you can compare the two. Our policy is to help PREVENT identity theft by verifying that the person in front of me and the name and picture on the ID matches the information on the credit card. I've had many guests actually thank me for asking  for their ID because identity theft has happened to them before. Which may be the same reason why many people write "See ID" on the back of their credit cards. I know it would give me a sense of security to have someone verify my information.
Guest: I'll have to give it you, you sure do know how to argue a point well.

Sorry. Normally I'm not so combative with my guests. Usually a guest would say something like that and it rolls off my shoulders like- Yeah, Whateva- but he caught me on the wrong day. And even though I told him that, you can visually TELL that it was like talking to a brick wall. Case in point: The next day I came into work, I saw the comment card. "Drop so-called need to verify photo identity at check-in. Leads to identity theft." For his last name to be Wright, he sho is WRONG!

Some People...

We all know a person who we wouldn't mind if they stepped off a curb and got hit by a car. Hold up- that was kinda harsh. Lemme rephrase that opening sentence.

 

We all know a person who we wouldn't mind if they stepped off a curb and got hit by a car. Hell- it felt right! Lol. Right now that person would be the newest addition to my hotel family. Joy(kill) King. This girl? I'm not sure WHERE they make her at- but they need to halt production ASAP.

 

First of all (gotta love a sentence that starts off that way) she graduated from college with a bachelor's degree for hospitality. Bad sign right there. Because already, you know they'll be over-eager and you can't tell 'em nothing because they learned it all in class.

Second of all, how you gonna be working somewhere for only two months and only 5 out of 30 coworkers like you? I mean, I understand that this is a job and not a popularity contest, but you don't need to burn any bridges. It's good to have a good working relationship with your coworkers so they can have your back when stuff goes down. The way how it's going now? If that chick is drowning, ain't nobody throwing the heffa a life jacket!

Third of all, it's not serious. It's NEVER that serious! The atmosphere is extremely relaxed at my job. I mean for heaven's sake- the general manager describes herself as PWT. So what's with all the extra this girl is doing? I mean, is she really complaining because there's not enough stuff to do? Where they do that at? And what's with all the notes and emails about what's been going on while the manager is not on property?

So we have this log book at the front desk called the Guest Issue Log. This girl writes paragraphs in this thing. She writes so much, that you can mistake it for her personal diary! And it's unnecessary stuff! So shit, I white it out. Yeah- I did it like twice. And in one of those emails, she said someone was whiting out her entries in the book. Excuse me while I roll my eyes. The icing on the cake was Trina telling her point blank:

"I just want to let you know, there is no room for promotion at this job. Everyone has been in there position for years and they're not going anywhere. Just thought you should know"

Yeah. Homegirl was standing there with the hushmouth stupid face and I was trying my damndest not to laugh out loud. And no, Trina wasn't being catty, it's the absolute truth. It's been a while since I made a list, so I think I should do one.

*Since there's a possibility that I will be leaving the job soon for bigger and better (cross your fingers for me guys) Let's call this list:

3 THINGS I WANT TO DO TO JOY BEFORE I QUIT

1. Say what's on my mind.

Hey- looky there- that's all I have! Short list. Lol

Loves and Likes Ya!

Oh Really?

Drunk White Male Guest: I wanna go out with a minority so I can get resident status

Me: Sorry, I'm Australian.

DWMG: What about the girl over there?

Joy (coworker): Sorry, I already go out with a minority. He's Asian.

DWMG: I bet I'm bigger than him

Me: Doubt it, they call him Dong for short.

DWMG: Well you know what they call me? Long Dong...

Me: LMAO!!!!

Where do these things come from?

"How Many Times Have You Seen This?"

He asks me as he whips out his platinum status Priority Club Card. It took all my power not to roll my eyes. But I couldn't hold back my snarky remark,

"All the time, that's not anything new."

Which is true since just that day we have 4 other platinum members checking in out of the 12 arrivals.
Status- be it professional or WHATEVA- and material things do NOT impress me. Those things can be gone in a blink of an eye. My favorite bible verse? (and excuse me for getting all sanctified and whatnot but this is a great quote that can be applied to everyday life by Christians and Non-Christians.)

2 Corinthians 4:18- So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

WHA??? You cant tell me that aint deep!

Loves and Likes Ya

Maaaaan! We Got ROBBED!

Yes, I'm okay! It happened before I came in for my shift. What freaks me out is, if it wasn't for me taking that vacation- it WOULD HAVE been me! I work every Thursday, either 3-11 or 4-12, and it happened around 8ish. Because I took off last week- I've had to do night audit last night and tonight in addition to doing it on the weekend so that saved me.

Apparently it was some dude, came a little bit after our Sundowner reception when the great room was still busy. He came in, with a gun, and asked for the money in the drawer. Unfortunately the new girl was at the desk, along with Carmen- who just got finished working the sundowner- so she had to go through the ordeal. She seemed to be okay when I got in, hopefully she'll come back!

Whoo Chile!