My Wild Wing Night PT III

I WAS prepared this time! At least mentally. I'm sorry, but I refuse to bust out the ho clothes just for Wild Wing. Carmen came out with the heels and leopard leggings, black t-shirt knotted on the side, and the black wig back up in the clip. Unfortunately, she started the party early- with beer and raspberry vodka. While she's in the car, she's pouring the rest of the vodka into a small Sprite bottle. I sip on some mixed with lemonade and Sprite. We make it to Wild Wing without any distractions. As soon as we get inside- I see some guests from the hotel. DAMN. Can't show our ass tonight. We see Michelle at the bar and we all hug and whatnot. Carmen asks for a cup of ice and a cup of sprite so she can pour her vodka into it. I point out the guests sitting in the booth and Carmen being Carmen, goes to the booth and sits down and proceeds to flirt with them. About a minute later she's calling me over and saying "What drink do you want? They're gonna buy it"

I'm shaking my head because as a general rule- I do not like to socialize with guests outside of the property. And that rule was made for a good reason. Maybe one day I'll blog about the horny Nigerian who kept asking me questions like "What's your favorite sexual position?" and "Are you fucking your boyfriend tonight?" or I could blog about the guy who was old enough to be my dad and started off sending misspelled texts, upgraded to naked pics, and graduated to jerking off on the phone while repeatedly saying my name as my stepmom threatens him. I had to change the number after that. Yeah. Can't wanna do it. But I'm sliding in the booth between the two guys as I'm sipping on my margarita and all seems to be well. Or so I thought.

I'm not quite sure WHEN I realized that I was a bit effed up- buuuutt I was. And Carmen was worse. I think I realized I was tore up when I got up to go to the bathroom and I swayed a little TOO hard to the left. I realized Carmen was drunk off her ass when she unintentionally flashed the guests her boob when showing them her tattoo. And I'm not talking about a quick nip-slip either. The tit was out in full view like she didn't feel a breeze. I'm like- "CARMEN!" and the guests are getting a bit nervous. (Did I forget to mention that they were middle aged white guys? This incident was probably a bit too much for them) I saw the awkward glances passed between the 3 of them and I say, "I think you may need to go to the bathroom." And with the help of the guests, I haul her drunk ass out of the booth and we  both wobble to the restroom.

While we're in the bathroom, all I could think about was- "I'm hella fucked up and I'm the one driving. I need to get sober fast." You wanna know how messed up I was- not as bad as Carmen, but bad enough to suggest us going outside sooooo......what? I can get fresh air and be immediately sober? SMH. Dumb. As. Hell. We sit down and who comes up to us? My boyfriend from the other night- Malachi. Looking yummy, nevermind the beer goggles. He says to Carmen, "Damn- you fucked up, I hope you're not driving." and I laugh as she tells him that she rode with me. He then turns to me and say "Ain't shit funny- you fucked up too- AND you're the one driving?" "I know," I reply and think again- how am I going to get sober? We all go inside and sit at the bar with Michelle, and Marci (white chick in design school) has joined us. Carmen took to molesting a boy that looked like he got in the place with a fake id. Malachi is sitting beside me at the bar, telling me to drink water, and ordering a glass for me. Carmen is sitting on the other side of me- saying, "Oooo Chelle! He got a BIG DICK! Feel this!" I'm running off at the mouth. Details are a bit fuzzy. I know I say something about how young the boy looked. And I definitely remembered taking pictures. I remember talking to Malachi about something and for some reason we took the conversation outside. Again- details are fuzzy but I'm 99.9% sure I was saying something inappropriate to him. Liquid courage. I DEFINITELY remember feeling him up. *sighs at memory. shakes head at being such a slutpuppy* If only I could be as brave as I pretend to be sometimes. Did we kiss? I honestly don't think so. I think. I wanna say no- maybe we came close?

But we went back inside, I think because by then the water was taking its toll on me and some dude in a tall white tee -ok, so I see some people just CAN'T let that trend go!- starts flirting with me, sending me googly eyes and whatnot. I smile back. I'm a flirt. Don't be brand new, lol. I see Michelle and Marci in the bathroom.

Michelle says, "Just how much did Carmen drink?"

 I tell her, "I dunno. She started drinking before I picked her up."

Marci says, "She told me that I need to sit down because I was taking all the black guys."

Wooow. I can't remember, but I think I laughed out loud on that one.

"She's drunk off her ass. She doesn't know what she's saying" I tell her.

 Meanwhile I'm thinking- She's only telling the truth. Jeez Louise! Liquid courage gets 'em all the time. We go back to the bar to find Carmen done bulldozed her way to the karaoke stage on some poor girl's set, dancing in the background. WOW. Hilarious. Guy at the bar is still making googly eyes. I'm on my 3rd cup of water and am going to the bathroom every 5 minutes. Everytime I go, I feel a LOT better. Seems to be something to that whole water thing after all. Eh- learn something new everyday.

Wild Wing is starting to close and Michelle suggests we all go to Waffle house and have Malachi drive us. I thought I was gonna sit in the front seat- because I had devious plans- but Michelle nipped that in the bud when she hopped her ass in the front. What is it about the grease that seem to just cure whatever hangover effects you may have? Carmen is steady trying to order some porkchop dinner and the cook is steady tryna tell her that they're out of porkchops. I wind up telling him-" Look, she's drunk as hell. Don't pay attention to her- just give her a patty melt." I don't really remember WHAT we talked about at the table. I think most of the time we were laughing at Carmen's drunk ass- who was quietly tearing up that patty melt. He drops us back off at the Wild Wing and wait- do I hear him trying to get Michelle's number who's- by the way- clearly on the hunt for some dick? And excuse me if that sounded a bit catty but I knew what was up when she hopped in the seat and when she slid in beside him at the booth in the Waffle House. And here comes Carmen with the liquid courage- "You dirty. How you gonna ask for her number when you tryin to holla at my girl? Thats dirty yo." Michelle tries to laugh it off and she gets out the car. Carmen and I get out and get in my car. Malachi gets out of his car and makes his way toward me when Michelle pulls up in her car to talk about....what? A bunch of nothing. I start laughing at Carmen when she says- "What does this ho want? Besides some black dick? Greedy ass white girls." Really, it's nothing new to me. After all- most of my friends, at one point, were white. She left after 2 minutes and after rolling down the windows so Carmen can have some air circulating, I join Malachi outside. We chat about some things and I'm on my way. Got home safe and Malachi and I talk some more on the phone. I think that maybe I'm going to forgo going to the Wild Wing. Don't wanna make it old- which it's already starting to be- but it is a good start to getting Lola on out there some. I'm young and I'm single, I think I need to start acting like it!

Loves and Likes Ya!

Why Marriage May Not Be For Me

   I know I didn't really touch on it much on Wild Wing Night Pt II but Antoine? Yeah. There was a minute when we were talking and he was just straight up staring at my girls. This was after the initial hello, and before the invite to Onyx. While I was sitting at the bar and talking with other people, I noticed his behivior. Flirting casually with Marci and some other white chicks. I gave him a little smile to let him know that I'm not the kind of girl to go running my mouth about other people's business like that. (I just write a blog about other people's business that anybody in the world can read. Yep. SMH) So on the way back from the restroom, he kinda corners me and that's when I mentioned that the idea of Onyx was bouncing around. He says-

"You know what happens at the Wild Wing, STAYS at the Wild Wing"
"Ain't nobody stuntin you boy!"
"Just sayin. You lookin good tonight. Got the girls out saying hello,"

SN: On the real, I am BLESSED so the girls are pretty much ALWAYS saying hello. They just happened to be saying it a little louder that night! lol. Still, I find myself self-consciously pulling my tank top up.

"Unh-unh. Don't do that, you have them out for a reason."

And he licks his lips. Officially turning me on and simultaneously turning me off at the same time.

Marriage. Especially when you're young. I dunno, it doesn't seem like the GREATEST idea in the book to me. Hell, I can barely keep interested in a boyfriend, I REALLY can't see myself with a husband. After working at the hotel for 4 years, I've seen it all. Married guys checking in with the band on their hand, wife calls by 9, guy is out hitting the bars by 10, comes back with random girl by 2. And let's not forget about Top Flight, who stills text and flirts with me on the regular. You know what though? I see the relationship that Barack and Michelle have, Will and Jada, and it does give me some kinda hope for the future. It's like you can look at them and see that not only are they husband and wife, but they're best friends as well. That's a relationship with a strong foundation. And I do believe that friendship is the best foundation for a relationship. Hell, I can get turned on by looking at someone with long thick fingers, but will we be friends?

I want to know what happened to taking the time to get to know somebody? You can't possibly learn everything you need to know about a person by a couple of talks on the phone and a couple of awkward dates! Shit takes time, I likes to take my time before approaching a new relationship. Imma need you (the guy) to stop worrying about being put in the "friend zone" just because I'm taking it slower than what you're used to. Just know that if you WERE put in the friend zone- you were gonna be put there regardless of the time it took.

Loves and Likes Ya

My Wild Wing Night PT II

Around 8pm last Wednesday I get a text from Michelle.

"Hey girl. U comin 2 WW tonight?"
"Def. I'm bringin my coworker Carmen. U'll luv her. She's cool"
"K! C ya later"

I've been waiting to tear up that stage on Karaoke night. The only reason why I didn't go last time was because I had my uniform on and I didn't need EVERYONE knowing my business. Carmen's been wanting to go out with me for a while now so I figured that this would be the perfect opportunity.

First of all- I wasn't prepared for Carmen. We work together and I've given her rides before, we talk, I was aware that she's outgoing and a bit out there. But I was NOT prepared for her walking out her apartment with 4 inch gladiator-style platform heels, distressed leggings with big holes, loose t-shirt with sequined print, bright red lips and a jet black wig she had up in a hair clip. Now, I'm wearing a sheer emerald green tunic with a lacy tank top underneath, dark denim skinny jeans, and black flats. NOT PREPARED! So we get to the Wild Wing to meet up with Michelle. At least that was the game plan. Right when we got up to the place these 3 FINE (wait- do people still say fine? Don't care- they were swexy) On first look it was 3 black guys and one dude that looked white but could pass for something else. Did I tell you that Carmen is Puerto Rican and from New York? Well she is. They stoppin us (mainly Carmen cuz I look like a plain burger compared to her Whopper.) and they're like "Yo- it's lame in there. Ain't shit poppin. Y'all should come with us." I'm keepin quiet and Carmen is doing all the talking. I'm enjoying every minute of it cuz homegirl is working it. Turns out ol' buddy is Puerto Rican as well and the rest of us is subjected to yells of "BORICUA!" followed by rapid spanish. Me and one of the guys just kinda look at each other like- ohhkay. He introduces himself to me as Malachi and my knees slightly buckled because me and my sis has ALWAYS found that name sexy. And he looks the part too. Nice milk chocolate skin, fade close cut with this snazzy sideburn/ beard that he had goin on. Melon colored shirt, dark gray hooded vest with a melon/gray/light blue designed tie. Dark denim jeans- Damn I didn't check out the shoes- I'm slippin y'all! LOL. But he looks good and smells better. Greg- aka Boricua- is workin Carmen, trying to persuade her to come to the spot. We go, with Greg ridin in my backseat with Carmen and I. All I could think about was- I am NOT prepared at ALL!

The spot is called My Place and it's this hole in the wall pool hall that I've passed many times and never really paid attention to. It's all of 15 people in there and heads automatically turn when we walk in. Definite confidence booster but honestly there was only two other chicks in the spot and they were both preoccupied. I got a PeachBeach and scoped out the scene. Guys in a corner table playing dominos. 2 pool tables full of guys playing. Group of guys by the bar. Couple of guys by the jukebox. It wasn't bad. So Carmen and I chat it up with our boyfriends for the night, take a bunch of suggestive pics- more Carmen than me- and talk to some of our "boyfriends" friends. One of which was a lesbian chick nicknamed Korona. Homegirl was straight staring at my chest! Like we were all talking about how it is up north. Korona, Carmen, and Malachi being from NY, Greg from Jersey, Me born in Jersey- raised in Maryland. Korona stops mid sentence and says "You workin that green ma," and goes back to how bummy the people can be down here. Ok. I took another sip of my drink. Somehow the focus comes back to me and Korona is asking me questions, Carmen is interjecting here and there. We all wind up exchanging numbers and head back to Wild Wing since Carmen is craving a jello shot. Our boyfriends said they'll meet us there and we're on our way.

Michelle is all like- "Where the FUCK ya been? It's fuckin 1 o' clock!" So I tell her about what happened, she looks at the pics, I introduce her to Carmen, and I order a $3 margarita. We all talk and Michelle introduces us to her friend Ashley- who looks like a sloppy drunk white girl- and some other chick named Marci. Marci sits in front of me and Carmen and talks about how she just moved here from Virginia and got accepted into the Art Institute of Charlotte for design and she's having a hard time making friends since most black girls don't like her because she likes black guys. Go figures. I spot my friend Antoine and I say hi. He's not really that close of a friend. He's actually the husband of one of D's friends. I've been over their house a couple of times and I run into him in random places- Food Lion, Bi-Lo, Texaco, and now Wild Wing. He's a cutie but his wife ain't beyond smackin a chick so I say hi, do some small talk and keep it movin. He introduces us (Carmen and I) to his friend Bo, and turns and leaves before he can get into anymore trouble. At this time, our boyfriends come strolling in and attention is on them. Michelle's talking about hitting up the strip club, Onyx, since they don't close til 5am. We're all down to ride. I invite Antoine, halfway interested to see how far he's gonna go, he politely declines and continues to sip on his beer. It was all tame until Ashley decides to thrust herself upon Greg and Malachi. I saw the look in Malachi's eyes so I called him over to me, and he thanked me for the distraction by giving me a big hug and a kiss (YOWZERS!) Made me wish my morals were a tad bit looser. A couple of minutes we're joined by Greg and announces that he has to leave. He feels dirty because apparently on the way to the bathroom, Ashley couldn't resist his sexy body and proceeded to assualt him. Eeew. We round everyone up to see who's going to Onyx and we leave the Wild Wing. But not without Carmen hitting on the bouncer.

"How many holes you got in them pants?"
"I don't know, you wanna count them? I know I got 2 holes that work!"

Couldn't do anything but shake my head and say Carmen. We're on the road and I look in my rearview mirror. There's 5 CARS FOLLOWING US! And all I can think was- I was NOT prepared a DAMN BIT! When we get to Onyx, the security guards are already clearing the parking lot seeing as how Onyx closes at 3 on Wednesdays. Michelle and Ashley say their goodbyes (I think Michelle was on the hunt for some dick- quite honestly) I dunno WHERE Marci went. or the other cars. All I know is that Me, Carmen, and Malachi hit up the Waffle House. We sit, eat, talk shit (Yeah, Malachi tells us how his boy James- one of the black dudes Marci was talkin to- was scheming on her. Wanting to go over her place, get some ass, then take her money. Damn Shame. She REALLY needs some friends to let her know whats good) and say our goodbyes. At the end of the night I have so many new numbers in my phone and so many random texts that I didn't know WHAT was what. All I know is that everyone was wondering if we're gonna do the same thing next week. Hells YEAH!

Loves and Likes Ya!

One More Chance?

Ced calls me today to ask if I would like to hang out and go to Dave and Busters. I guess. But if he says something about history work or computer work then I'm jumping in my car and cutting all ties. AND hands are keeping to themselves, because he obviously can't handle AAAAAALLLLLL of dis! Lol ; p

loves and likes ya!

p.s. I typed all this from my el cheapo phone, not that bad eh?

My Wild Wing Night PT I

    One Wednesday night after work, probably about 2 or 3 weeks ago, I was in need of a drink. I contemplated buying a bottle of wine and downing it in the comfort of my room while watching a marathon of The Nanny, but decided that I should stop at a bar or something. I was driving to get gas and hot damn- the Wild Wing Cafe was on and POPPIN on a Wednesday night! So I went in on a whim and had a seat at the bar- work uniform still on and everything. It was karaoke night and I walked in on someone doing karoake to "Go DJ" by Lil Wayne. I buy my Malibu SeaBreeze and enjoy the scene. I finish my drink and think about ordering another one when this guy sitting beside me offers to buy me one. Now you know I don't turn down anybody's free drink so, "Are you sure? Thank you so much!"  Flash Colgate smile.

   We make some small talk and out the corner of my eye I see this white guy with this cheesy -ass- Cosby- style-sweater on and strawberry blond short curly hair. He's waving to me like he...knows me? Chile, I don't know that guy but I wish you could've seen the way he waved. *lmao at the memory* so he makes his way beside me and I learn that his name is Jeremy and he works at Microsoft down the street from my job. He buys me my 3rd drink. He brings me to where he was sitting before, and introduces me to one of the coolest white chicks named Michelle and her friend- Tyrone? Tyreek? Travis? I dunno, somebody was doing karoake to- what's that song? With Lionel Richie and Diana Ross? Right on the tip of my tongue-ENDLESS LOVE! Thanks for the help. So Michelle buys a round of Royal Flush shots. YUMMY! We (Michelle and I) exchange numbers so we can hang out sometime. We talk about tattoos and piercings and Jeremy and I was talking about work. Jeremy buys everyone another round of Royal Flush shots. Michelle is calling me a pussy for not buying what she's drinking - Purple Haze- and at first taste it reminds me of a grape Jolly Rancher. So I stop being a pussy and buy one. BIG mistake. It wasn't until I got my short ass off that bar stool and started to weeble a bit that I realized- pause- maybe THAT'S why they call it Purple Haze! lol. I made it home- I live only 5 mins away- stumbled up the steps and passed out on my bed. GREAT NIGHT! I get a text the next day from Michelle asking if I'll come back next week- Hells Yeah!

Loves and Likes IT!

Smacking on Sushi

I know it's been a hot lil minute but I've got some posts brewing on the back burners, just have to get off my lazy ASS and develop the ideas. Today, however, we're going to talk about my lunch date with Mr. Man- aka Ced.

He invited me to have lunch with him at this all you can eat sushi place. He bragged about it and hassled me about it (he asked me like fitty-leven times if I ate sushi. Yes) So I said sure, I mean, I did say (to myself) that we can be friends and friends do lunch. So we say 11:30. His time management skills are worse than mine so I leave my house at 11:30 when he calls and says he stuck in traffic. I get there sooner than expected and he's still stuck in traffic. He doesn't meet me until almost an HOUR later! UGH. So we walk in the place and he's showing off his limited Japanese we sit down and then we get up to get some grub. He makes it back to the table before I do and gave me a short lesson on how to use my chopsticks (cuz the only way I use chopsticks is in my hair- you remember that don't you? With the little studs on top? Girl STOP! Couldn't tell me NOTHING!) Back to the subject.

He's doing some more of his bootleg Japanese on the waitress. Yes, I am aware that you were stationed in Japan, please don't be a dick and try to show off. So I'm working it out with the chopsticks and he's smacking. While eating sushi? That's one of my pet peeves. Top of the list most definitely. How do you smack while eating SUSHI?! Anyways, we're making light conversation, ("I can't believe you like sushi" "Why? You've only asked me like a hundred times." "I just wanted to make sure. Make sure you weren't lying." "And I would lie about eating sushi because...?" And hush mouth.) And he says, "We're the only black people in here." I dunno. Something about that statement rubbed me the wrong way, even though it sounds like something I would say any other day. But I say, "Well, there's at least 5 other black people here so it's not that bad." Then the ignorance continues to pour out his mouth.

"Why is it that you think black people don't eat sushi?" And I give him one of my trademarked looks but that doesn't stop him. "Do you think it's because of ignorance? Or they're too afraid to try it?"

And he's still smacking while he's asking me this. I'm wishing I can just walk away and chalk this experience up to life but he's staring me down and he's actually expecting me to...answer?

"Umm. I dunno. I don't think it's ignorance. Sometimes people don't feel a need to try new things or may not have the chance or opportunity to try something new. I would've never tried it if my ex didn't take me to try it. Not that I was afraid to, I just never thought about it like that."

And I spend the rest of the lunch drinking water and eating sushi. Glad when it was over. Obviously I'm gonna have to rethink this friend thing! Shara says he was probably trying to impress me and was so nervous that he didn't know what to say. But then I told her how when the bill came up he asked if I wanted to go half on it. I'm not a goldigger. On the contrary, I am very understanding about financial matters. However, HE invited ME for lunch so I was under the impression he was paying. This is the 2nd time he did something like this to me. Shara says that was a no-no and I should just cut him loose. I pretty much did that when I paid for my half and left a tip.

Loves and Likes Ya

Oh Really?

Drunk White Male Guest: I wanna go out with a minority so I can get resident status

Me: Sorry, I'm Australian.

DWMG: What about the girl over there?

Joy (coworker): Sorry, I already go out with a minority. He's Asian.

DWMG: I bet I'm bigger than him

Me: Doubt it, they call him Dong for short.

DWMG: Well you know what they call me? Long Dong...

Me: LMAO!!!!

Where do these things come from?

Sooooo...Uhhhhh...Yea....

That pretty much sums it up. No it doesn't. Y'all, I gotta vent.

So yesterday I had a study session with C. Do NOT roll your eyes or suck your teeth! We had a MAJOR exam today and when I say that boy needs help- well- the boy needs help. I honestly try to help him but he seems to have ADD or something and has a hard time focusing. I spend half the time chewing his behind out for not paying attention. I told him that if he doesn't start paying attention and actually doing what I tell him to do- then I'm not gonna waste anymore of my time by helping him. I don't care HOW cute the damn boy is. Remember- I walk that talk!

Anyways- so after about the 3rd ass-chewing of the night, I decide to let him take a break. I was still studying though- did you not read that it was a major exam? I'm sayin! So during his break- he's all like, "How's your sister, how's your dog, when am I going to meet her?" and I'm all like "She's good, she's good, I dunno- she doesn't really like guys" and so he's like- "What do you mean she doesn't really like guys?" and I'm like, "I dunno, the only guys she likes is my dad and my papa. Any other guy she just barks at the whole time." And he's like- "I'm talkin bout your sister. Not your dog." And that's so sweet that he wants to meet my sister. Especially since she already threatened me about him. What did she say?

"Now my party is coming up You didn't run off Ced did you, cuz I don't need you to be by yourself Its gonna be me and Seth, Sean and Kisha, Mimi and Jonathon, and I don't need you and Justin (Seth's younger brother who is too cute to be single) to be the 5th and 6th wheel like y'all always are (and we ALWAYS are) So whatever weird twisted thing you got goin on with Sauce gotta stop because I want it to be you and Ced."

Yes I am aware that there wasn't any punctuation in that paragraph, but that was how she told it to me, no pauses and no time for objections that she knew was coming.  So him commenting about my sister was kinda eerie. But honestly he is a stand-up kind of guy. Yeah he's nosey as hell and can get worked up about things- but all in all, he's cool. But y'all...smh, there's something else.

It happened again!

I mean, at least this time he tried to make it last by keeping distracted with other things, but if he can't last that long when I'm just giving him head- how's it gonna be when (or IF) we have sex? Is he gonna get up and excuse himself when it's starting to feel good? And if that's the case- how am I supposed to get MY jollies off?

Maybe it's just me?

Because- and I'm not even saying this to sound cocky- but I've been told that my head game is quite serious, but my ex D was able to keep his cool. Sauce doesn't do a bad job either. I can think of 2 other guys who busted kinda quick- but their quick wasn't as quick as Ced's.

I know that sex isn't everything in a relationship but IT IS TO ME! it is an important factor. I mean, we're all looking for that homie/lover/friend. So will it be wrong if Ced is the homie/friend while Sauce is the lover? Too much y'all- too much

Loves and Likes Ya

Texting...

Terry: Hey boo! How are you today?
Me: Peachy keen! Painting at the church
Terry: Cool cool! Look at you!
Me: I kno right? Doing right so I can do wrong! smh
Terry: LOL! Its like a checking account! You have to deposit more than you withdraw! lol
Me: LMBO. Tru dat tru dat

"How Many Times Have You Seen This?"

He asks me as he whips out his platinum status Priority Club Card. It took all my power not to roll my eyes. But I couldn't hold back my snarky remark,

"All the time, that's not anything new."

Which is true since just that day we have 4 other platinum members checking in out of the 12 arrivals.
Status- be it professional or WHATEVA- and material things do NOT impress me. Those things can be gone in a blink of an eye. My favorite bible verse? (and excuse me for getting all sanctified and whatnot but this is a great quote that can be applied to everyday life by Christians and Non-Christians.)

2 Corinthians 4:18- So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

WHA??? You cant tell me that aint deep!

Loves and Likes Ya

"Yo- You're A Christian?"

   Wooooow! I knew he was kidding because I've told him about my going to church, but it still stung a little bit. Because my days off pretty much always fall on Sunday and Monday, I spend Sunday morning at church praying about the sins I'm about to commit Sunday night and maybe Monday. SMH. It's a damn shame. Being raised in the church with strong religious values, I've always been a little conflicted. I have accepted Christ as my Savior. I know right from wrong. Where my problem lies is the fact that I'm a very sexual being. I tried praying but it doesn't work as well.

I'm pretty good about resisting temptation. How I do that is remove myself from any situation that I know will lead me to be alone with an attractive male. (J/K, Gosh- I'm not THAT horny!) but you know what kind of situations I'm talking about- late night (well, it doesn't have to be late nights) an intimate group of friends (well, it doesn't have to be that intimate) maybe a couple of drinks (well, drinks may or may not be involved) Scratch that- I have to remove myself from any situation that I know will lead me to be alone with an attractive male. Case in point- Ol' buddy with the study session.

I was doing just fine with my celibacy. I haven't had any since the day after Christmas and I wasn't sliding down any banisters so I think all was good. HOWEVER- ol' buddy woken up SOMETHING someone inside of me that hasn't been out in a while. HELLO LOLA!

With the arrival of Lola, came the beginnings of my spiritual battle. How can I be up in church, and not just up in church- but pretty INVOLVED in the church, and act like this heathen? At one point I was holding on to my virginity with an iron-clad grip that my ex hated me for. I was 19 and still figuring out my direction in life. I don't know when it was that I realized, "Uh Chelle- you're still calling yourself a virgin but you're doing everything but having vaginal intercourse. Fantastic." And another thing my ex hated me for. Needless to say- my ex didn't pop the cherry, instead it was this guy I worked with and only knew for about 2 weeks? Yeah- no idea where my head was. Again- I was 19.

I'm off subject. Lola got introduced to the ex. The ex who hated my iron-clad grip and "Don't put it in" sayings. The ex I've been hanging out with lately. Yeah. Dammit my sister was right. But not in the "relationship" capacity because I don't need that drama- remember, I still have goals to achieve- but in the stereotypical "FB" capacity that seems to haunt so many ex-relationships. I mean, it seems perfect! I have a monkey on my back that needs to get the hell off (yes that pun was intended) and he's the perfect guy. Real laid back- doesn't seem to be prone to stalker status (cuz YOU KNOW *heh heh heh*. Lemme stop chile) and we're already familar with one another so no awkward moments. And yeah- it was him that said that slick comment in the title of this post. Gotta love him though.

So I'm talking to my sister Monday during our dinner date and I ask her if she ever feel guilty about having premarital sex, especially since we seem to be getting so involved with our church and church family lately.

"What like DURING sex?"
"Not really, just like anytime. Do you ever think, 'This is wrong?'"
"I mean, it's more like a fleeting thought but it's much much MUCH later. Depends on how good he put it down. I may not be in my right mind yet!"

I felt her on that one. Because Sunday night with the ex was....DAMN. Everytime I think about it, I just shake my head and blush. Yeah- it was like that. Makes me kinda glad that I didn't go to church that morning.

Loves and Likes Ya

Priceless

At breakfast I tell Trina and Shay what happened between me and C.

Trina: Sorry to hear that. You want me to call Robert for you?

Me: I can't wanna do that! I still got goals to achieve...

Shay: She don't need to get doped up by tha dick

...and Eating Leftovers

Part II

 

And in continuation...

 

There is something almost COMFORTING about going back to an ex. Is it because we have a history? They already know about my SEVERE MOOD SWINGS personality? I already know about their habits? Or is it because of sheer laziness? I dunno, all I know is that I have a bad habit of eating my leftovers.

 

I mean, they do say that leftovers are always better the next day (something about how the sauce and seasonings get to marinate *shrugs shoulders*) Now -and pardon me if I get a bit metaphorical, just ride with me on this- let's say Nana put the smackdown on some spaghetti, made a big pot of it and you know how Nana's are "Here baby, take you some more home. Here, I got some aluminum foil in the bottom right cabinet."  So you take home your bowl. The next day you eat it- you notice how well seasoned everything is and you love it. The third day you have it- you're trying to spice it up a little bit- add some pepperjack cheese to it- idk, SOMETHING. 4th day you're sick and tired of it and you go out for Chinese. No matter what you do- it's still spaghetti

 

Going back out with you ex is like that scenario I just mentioned. And I'm telling this to you from experience- not from my ghetto pschology notebook. D and I broke up previously because of communication issues. Almost a year later, we tried at it again- much to the chagrin of some friends and most family members. So at first it was okay, smooth sailing, I was trying my best and he was trying his best. Then the insecurities came back (his, not mine) and the issues of spending time with one another came back (me basically ignoring him at times)  Then came the communication issues (he couldn't tell me what was on his mind and couldn't understand me) Then hell, I got tired of it all. No matter how I dressed it up- we're still the same ol' people before that we are now.

What brought this subject about was my sudden friendship with my other ex, Sauce. I mean, him and I have always been in contact with one another but usually it's like a text here and there. Every since New Year's, we've actually been hanging out. B-ball games, out to eat, movies or just chillin at his spot. (No hands, but I don't know how much that'll last) And my sister, upon hearing this, hit me with the side eye and "mmm hmmm" (gotta love her!) She thinks I'm looking back in the fridge for more leftovers since I'm low on pocketchange and can't go out to eat. (If that metaphor lost you, let that be read as: She thinks I'm gonna hook up with him since my current database for guys is pretty non-existent, leaving me to settle for him. Exercize that brain muscle- sheesh!) Well she doesn't have to worry about me because I'm getting my weight up and I got ALOT some possibilities!

PLACES WHERE I CAN FIND MY NEXT PIECE OF MANCANDY:

• I DO go to school. And there's something about a man getting an education that makes him sooo sexxxy.
•  
• Gas Station- At least you know he has a car
•  
• Late Night Walmart Shopping Trip. I don't know how it is where you stay, but here in Charlotte- at the Super Wal-Mart off S. Tryon- the stockers are CUTIES! I don't frown my face up at a Wal-Mart employee either. Hell, a job is a job is a job is a JOB. I'll take those benefits.
•  
• Work. While my friends were out in their freakum dresses this past weekend getting numbers, I was in a striped dress shirt with a navy blue sweater pullover and khakis. I got 3 numbers and at least 5 invitations to go up to someone's room. *Sometimes it hurts to be a girl with a conscience and SOME morals*

ANY MORE SUGGESTIONS?

Loves and Likes Ya!

Sexually Intimidated?

**WARNING: POST IS RAUNCHY Y'ALL!*

Sorry to interrupt the flow of  "The One That Got Away and Eating Leftovers" but I had to blog a quickie- and the pun is used in every sense of the word.

I was eventually gonna blog about this new friendship/relationship that seems to be blossoming between me and my classmate C. He's a chill dude. Born in Africa, moved to NY when he was 9. Got his stuff TOGETHER (or at least it seems anyway) So I'm helping him with his computer class and with the History homework and we're at his place. Now we've been study buddies for about 2 weeks now and I knew that -eventually- something sexual may happen.

I don't quite know how it started. I think it was just him being fresh (damn I love the abrasiveness of an up north guy) feeling on my chest. That was a turn-ON. Kisses and licks placed on my chest? Definite turn-ON. I felt him rubbing against my thigh. IT'S ON...or so I thought.

Dammit, I promised I took like 5 good sucks and with a soft caress to the underseam of his sack, he says
"Oh no. I'm bout to bust"
WHAT THE FUCK! That's fine. It's still kinda early, I'm willing to wait a couple of minutes for him to compose himself and then show me that he can hold his own. Except...he doesn't. No more foreplay, he just shows me pictures of when he was stationed in Japan. I'm FRUSTRATED! Y'all- it's been a while since I've had a good release and I just KNEW that I was gonna be good to go but nooooo.

Obviously he was embarassed but I would think that as a guy- with a healthy male ego- he would step it up. I mean, I really was having a good time and I was looking forward to him showcasing his skills. But instead it was like he was trying to forget it happened, changing his mind as fast as Beyonce changes clothes in a concert. Is it because he was a bit intimidated by my skills? Like kinda scared? Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But the icing on the cake was him calling me about 10 minutes after I left his house. I think it was because I told him my ex lived around the corner from him and he wanted to see if I was going over there. I probably SHOULD have! Lemme take a quick cold shower to calm my hot ass down! lol

Loves and Likes Ya