Night of Quotables

   Tonight was best described as the most hilarious and disfunctional game night I've had in a while. Carmen, David, Jamie, and I played the new edition Monopoly with the electronic banker. FUN. I'll just do some highlights:

Jamie (picking up the boomerang piece): What the f*ck is this? A big dick? F*ck it- call me Big Dick PLAYAAAA!

Carmen (pointing to a tattoo on her upper arm): This is my ex fiancee. He passed away. I farted in his mouth

David: My motto is- In my world, the girl comes 3 or 4 times before I do.
Jamie: Well my motto is- if I can't knock the bottom, I'll bang the hell out of the sides

Jamie: I got it all planned out. I'm going to be fresh out the shower with water running from my chest pubes to my ball fro and she's gonna grab me by the weiner...because she wants me

   Gosh, I know there's more but I just can't remember. I'm a bit distracted, I had some Boone's Farm and Will is calling me now. SMH. I get a text from David- trying to get me to come back over there. Then Will texts me wanting to know what I'm doing and Steve texts me asking the same damn thing. I'm blogging this shit then I'm going to bed while watching King of the Hill. SHIT. I'm good for the night. I'm not replying or answering SHIT.

Loves and Likes Ya!

Something For Your Ears

I've been vibing with some songs lately. Let's start with:

Big Boi ft George Clinton & Too Short- For Yo Sorrows. Can I confess and say that I haven't even listened to the verses like that but the chorus is sooo sick! "...As I sit back in my chair, and smile from ear to ear with a fistful of your girlfriend's hair, yes she'll blow one tonight, for your sorrows."


Next is Ms. Teairra Mari. You couldn't tell me that she wasn't gonna kill it. So how did Rihannia get to this status while Ms. Mari is left on the curb? Dunno, but this mixtape is hot and this is one of my fave frivolous tracks. Teairra Mari ft Movado: Coins


Next on the club tip is Shanell from Young Money. Her stuff makes you want to dance and her mixtape is fire as well. Here goes Work Dat ft Mika Means! FYI: Please know that I am pouting because my top choice for this album, Me N My ft Eve, is nowhere to be found on YouTube so I can't share :(


Hey. Do you remember Jin? Won 106 & Park's Freestyle Friday a couple of years ago? Asian dude? Didn't think you'd remember. Well he released a mixtape that was pretty damn decent. Here goes a good one. Hard.


And while we're on rappers with different ethnicities, let's go to my fave group The Otherside. Fave tracks: (3)Let Me Show You, (6)Good Lookin' Ugly Girl and (7) the OOHLA=>This track is a beast. So poetic with it as he describes the song as if it's a lover. Niiiiice!



If you enjoy Dwele and Musiq and Jill, you will enjoy my boy Eric Roberson. Indie artist with a biiiiiig following. He wrote one of my fave Musiq tracks called Previouscats. This song, Only For You, is so sweet. It makes me smile everytime I listen to it.

 
And for the final one. Let's cross some genres. Plasticines- B.I.T.C.H. Song is TKA- Totally Kick Ass! lol

 
Loves and Likes Ya!

Sorry. I know I said it was the last one, but after mentioning this song, I HAD to post it! Musiq Soulchild- Previouscats. LISTEN to this song. It's on some serious grown man sh*t and I know plenty of people who can relate. Roberson lyrics are genius and hear him doing the background vocals. HEEEEY! Okay. I'm gone for real this time. ♥

Umm, Excuse Me? Are We Hating?!

   I've been trying to get my overtime hours like CRAZY! It seems as if the planets are aligning. After looking at apartment after apartment after apartment, Shara and I found a community that we both really really like and the price is looking right. Shara just got a dream job with this major health care system and me? Well, no new jobs for me but maybe a job possibility. Trina just accepted a position at her college, if all goes well with her training, she's going to quit. Shay will be bumped up to housekeeping manager and I will be assistant. Trina thinks it will be a good idea. Shay doesn't. I wasn't expecting that at all. I thought she would've been like, "Yeah gurl, C'mon to tha back of da house!"
   Talking with Trina, I found out that Shay has been on some other stuff as of late.Trina is housekeeping manager and Shay and Anjail are her assistants. Anjail is fully involved with her school schedule and can't commit to the job as much as she could during the summer. I remembered Shay saying something to me a couple of months ago about why Anjail can't come to the job during breaks in her schedule like Trina did. I had to explain it to her as nicely as possible (because she's on the sensitive side. She'll dish it, but can't take it) 1st: Trina is a manager, this is her career. That means she will have to make certain sacrifices. Anjail doesn't want to be in the hospitality industry. Chick is tryna be a doctor. Why stress over the unnecessary? 2nd: Trina's school is only 15 minutes away. Anjail's school is a good 25 mins away- and that's on a good day. Who will waste gas and bust ass for an hour break? Makes no sense!
   So anyway- like I was saying- Trina and I were talking, and she was telling me about Shay's complaining about Anjail. Trina told her to stop it. Then Shay was upset because Anjail went to DC with some of her old college roomates and didn't invite her. She was upset because she felt as if Anjail thought that she's not "educated" or "refined" enough to be around her college friends. NEWS FLASH: She didn't invite me EITHER! My feelings weren't hurt. Anjail hasn't seen her friends in a while and wanted to do something before the semester started. What we look like busting up in their reunion? Chile BOO!
   But again, Shay has always been sensitive like that. When I started going out with Carmen, she was upset that I didn't invite her. Carmen and Shay are cordial to one another- but that's about it. Why would I make the situation uncomfortable for the both of them? I thought she was kidding or something at first but she was SERIOUSLY mad about it! Let's see if this makes sense: 1st: Carmen and Shay don't get along like that. 2nd: They wouldn't be able to be themselves and have fun. 3rd: Shay has to be at work like 6 and 7 in the morning. 4th: She needs a babysitter for her baby. Me and Carmen don't really plan our happenings. It's more like: Me: I can go for a drink, you down? Carmen: Yeah girl. Let me wash my ass first though.
   But where is the love?  Going back to the subject of why black women can't be friends. One of the reasons, jealousy. It's ugly y'all! Shay may just be going through some things now or something. I'm sure everything will be okay once she's okay.

Loves and Like Ya!=> but don't you dare try to bring me down.

While At Work

Carmen: Don't nobody wanna be here. If I can find a way to sell some ass, I'd do it.

Celebration and A Tragedy Pt III

     Carmen left work early, planning on packing up the rest of her stuff so by the time I got off, we can just pack up my car and take her to Joyce. Once I got off, I went home to change and swung by Carmen's where she was sitting outside with Joyce and Terrell. All three of them drinking beers and smoking ciggies and talking shit. You really have no choice but to talk shit with Terrell because the words that come out of his mouth is pure ignorance. Like he's impressing me- ChileBOO! Carmen's like, "She ain't thinkin bout chu boy. She too good for you anyways." That kinda hurt his feelings, but he's a big boy. So Carmen and Terrell are arguing because Bruchon is Terrell's buddy as well and he can't wanna believe that his boy is changing postions.

"It's one thing if it was just assumptions but why is my jar of vaseline open? And why does it have a big ol hole in it from someone digging the hell out of it?" Mmhmm. Case Closed.

     We drop the things off at Joyce and Carmen doesn't want to sit around depressed to we go to WW where we meet this character of a man who keeps us in stitches the whole night. He's reading people right to left and clowning people left to right. I'm not sure when it was that I noticed Carmen was drunk (I promise that I only had 2 drinks myself and had juice the rest of the night) but she was. And Terrell was finally talking sense when he pulled me to the side and said, "Babygirl being drunk and feeling depressed ain't good at all. She doesn't need to be by herself." We went on ahead and bounced her out of there. She was begging to go back to her place but none of us wanted her to be alone. Especially since she said something about ending the pain.
     Terrell got his car from Joyce's and I tried to get Carmen out of the car but she wasn't budging. I told her she was either gonna be at Joyce's or she was gonna be at my house. She HATED the idea of going to my house because she didn't want my parents to see her like this. I told her I can careless what she WANTED to do because she didn't NEED to be by herself. Then she said she didn't want to stay at Joyce's because she has rats. Rats? Joyce's place is spic and flippin span. I just chalked that up to her being drunk and making excuses. Finally I suggested she go to her place but have somebody spend the night. Since she had a court date in the morning that Joyce was going to accompany her, I made the call and asked Joyce if she wanted to stay at Carmen's. She basically said no. Her exact words were, "Well, Chelle, I don't feel like leaving my house right now. Carmen will be okay. She just needs to..."and I blocked out the rest of her simple ass response. The chick lives WALKING DISTANCE from Carmen. I knew she wasn't THAT damn comfortable yet. I knew what I had to do so I got her up off the phone and told Carmen I'll be right back. I live 5 minutes aways from her so I was just gonna go home, grab some clothes and a toothbrush, then go get some food since I was hungry. It didn't work out like that once Joyce called me.

"Uh, Chelle, Carmen, uh, she just called me and uh told me that she uh took 15 Benedryl."
"WHAT?!"
"I asked uh, I asked if she was sure and uh, she said uh she said she took the rest of the uh bottle. Where are you? You think you can check on her?"

    I promise I wanted to reach through that phone and smack her. It took her entirely too long to tell me what happened and once she did tell me what happened, she kept repeating it. I think I hung up on her. I was very upset. First: because I ignored my gut feeling. I should've NEVER left her alone. But I did, because I can empathize. We've all been in situations where it's good to be with friends but sometimes you just want to cry in the dark by yourself while listening to the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack -whoops, personal experience, lol - so I figured that me getting my stuff and getting something to eat will give her enough personal time before I invaded her place. And she promised me not to do anything stupid. Second: she has no family down here. Hardly no friends. Me, Joyce, and Terrell. And see how that worked out? Joyce is too comfortable at home to check on her "best friend"? If this wasn't the saddest thing... I was in tears. Because nobody deserves anything like that. I got there and she was walking around. We went outside where she lit a cigarette and I asked her what the hell was on her mind. She doesn't like to depend on anybody. She hates him for doing this to her. She hates him for lying to her. She might as well die because she has nothing to live for. I told her that she needs to stop talking crazy and that GOD didn't cure her from her cancer just so she can throw her life away. Then I tried to get her in my car so we can go to the ER but she wasn't having it. I called her mom and let her try to talk some sense into Carmen. I don't think that was the best idea, because I heard the mom call Carmen 'loca' and 'estupida' repeatedly. I took the phone and promised to call the mom if anything happens. By the time I got off with the mom, Carmen was back inside and she was laying on the bed. I called the paramedics and got her in the hospital. A couple of hours later, she's fine. Yeah- I freaked out- but I'm the first to admit that in a crisis, you gonna have to give me a minute to get my thoughts together.

Loves and Likes Ya=> Really. I do.

Celebration and a Tragedy Pt II

     Still riding high from my FABULOUS Tuesday night, Wednesday came and went. Thursday started off better as I got my lazy bones up early and handled a lot of business before my shift. I picked Carmen up and was chattering away, not even noticing her one word responses. It wasn't until she wearily asked, "Chelle, if I tell you something, can you promise not to tell?" that I realized something was wrong. I was about to give her the, "Now YOU KNOW" look but one quick glance at her red eyes and I hurried up and parked the car in a parking lot.
   "What is it?" I asked, as the worst automatically came across my mind. But I know she didn't have her checkup yet, so the possibility of the news being cancer was small. "Did something happen to your mom? Is it Bruchon?"
   "Yes girl." And as she told me the events, I couldn't possibly have guessed it in a million years. The story seemed to have come out of the latest Zane book I read (The Hot Box. GREAT read by the way) and I handed her plenty of tissues as she poured out her disbelief.
     In short: Carmen told her boyfriend the night before that she was gonna stay at the job since she did breakfast and has to turn around and do the sundowner later. She decided to come on home anyway since the beds weren't that comfortable for her. When she got to her apartment building, she noticed a strange car parked in front of her door. She knocked on the door as she looked for her keys but no one answered. She finally found her keys and walked inside to find Bruchon sitting on the couch .
   "You ain't hear me knock?" She asked him. He had a dumb look on his face as he shook his head no. She asked what he was doing and he said nothing. She went to the bedroom and he followed her, she noticed the bathroom door was closed. She walked around to the other entrance of the bathroom, with Bruchon still on her heels. She tried to open the door but someone was holding the doorknob from the other side.
   "Who the fuck is in the bathroom?" She asked as she tried to get in. "Nobody" Bruchon responded, watching her get upset. She finally got the door open and what did she see? A man dressed only in boxers. She looked from one man to another and wheels began to turn in her head, taking in the wet shower curtain, the open jar of Vaseline on the counter, and both men in boxers. "What the fuck is goin on?" She asked, looking at the other guy putting on his clothes. "Nothin man. He was sick." Bruchon answered. "No nigga, YOU sick. I can't believe you a fuckin faggot! 7 fuckin years and you wanna be a fuckin fag!?" And that's when all hell broke loose. Bruchon flew out the door with his pants in his hands, diving into the guy's car. Carmen got a couple of licks in on the other guy before he left.

     "I'm gonna be okay though Chelle. It just hurts. We've been together for 8 years. We've been down here together for 7. We all we got down here and he does this shit? We're not just boyfriend, girlfriend, we're best friends. It makes me wonder if he was always like this. You know what I'm thinkin now? I wonder if the first time he cheated on me, if it was with another man. Huh. A fuckin faggot. I packed all my stuff up though. I'm gonna live with Joyce. I can't be in the same house with him. I gotta a good check comin up. If I work some more hours, the check after that should be good and I can have my own place in a month."
    
     And just like that, I thought she was good to go. I mean- not TOTALLY good to go, because that is a traumatic experience- but she seemed to be a woman with a plan and that's good right? Or so I would've thought.

I Can't Believe You Work Next Door

     After work Tuesday night, I was gonna drop by the grocery store and buy a bottle of moscato to drink while watching The Golden Girls. (don't laugh, that show is the business) The closer I got to the store though, the more pathetic the idea seemed. Then I remembered that Royal Flush shots were on special at the WW so I swung by. The bar was kinda crowded but I found a seat next to this white guy. All I saw was a head of thick black hair. He spun around and HOT DAMN- if it wasn't a guest from the hotel. I shook my head and said aloud, "Dammit! I just can't leave my work at WORK!" He gave me a flirtatious grin and said- "Well, what're the odds?" Don't worry, you guys aren't missing any back story. He was just one of many guests who I exchanged inappropriate remarks with. So we did some small talk and I found out that he's not actually at my hotel this go-round but he crashed our Sundowner anyway. Sitting beside him was the front desk clerk from the hotel beside mine. I knew he looked vaguely familiar and he confirmed my suspicions when he reminded me that I went over there a couple of weeks ago to ask for change. He's a cutie, but I guess since he's like RIDICULOUSLY clap on/clap off bright, he didn't register in my memory bank. It was a good night as we chatted and drank and drank and chatted. The whole time Will, from the hotel next door, kept saying- "You're cool as shit. I can't believe you work next door." Like there was some doubt that I'm cool? Pssshaaaaw.
     Somehow, I wound up giving him a ride home and...he wound up giving ME a ride home! LMAO. It really isn't funny. I'm such a flippin slut, it's ridiculous. But I tell ya what- that was some Grade A+++. And the funny part was as he worked his stroke game- he kept saying, "I can't believe you work next door."

Loves and Likes Ya=> especially if you work next door, lmfao!

The Day After...

Me: U kno what I was thinkn? & i kno its hella random, but i wonder if we did karaoke to bia bia, would the crowd have gotten hype?
Shara: Yeah, that is random. Im not even gonna ask what made u think that. but i dunno, they mightve rocked wit it a lil

Celebration and A Tragedy PT I

     Carmen celebrated her last day of radiation therapy Thursday before last with a shindig at The Sandtrap. She did it up with a long jet black wig, silver lipstick to match her silver shirt and shoes, and a mole colored on the upper left side of her lip. Me, Shara, David, Jamie, Dre, and Carmen's man Bruchon were all there helping her celebrate with rounds of Apple Pie shots and playing pool and darts. After 2 shots of Apple Pie and 3 shots of Pixie Stixx, I summoned up enough courage to do karaoke to Naughty Girl by Beyonce and dedicate the performance to Carmen. We all had fun. Shara and I with our seemingly never ending game of pool (since neither one of us can be qualified as pool sharks, we were ridiculousy taunted by the others saying, "is this STILL the same game?") Carmen, Dre, David and Jamie were playing darts, and Bruchon stayed mute while watching the game on the big screen.
     We took the festivities outside and tried to play cornhole. That game is SOOO not the business. But I know I'm biased since I can't play the game worth-a-shit. We went back inside to dance to some of the music from the funky fresh DJ and encourage the other people doing karaoke. I went back up to the stage for round 2, dragging Shara with me so she can accompany. I told the overweight, bald, biker looking, white guy that I wanted to sing Fergalicious. He rolls his eyes and say, "OmiGOD!" "What?" I ask him, thinking that he was making fun of my selection. "That's only my most FAVORITE song!" He exclaimed. I still thought he was making fun of me, until the beat came on and he transformed into Will.I.Am.  TOO. FUNNY. He was rocking it y'all! We all danced, and danced, and DANCED! I woke up the next morning, thighs feeling stronger than a mug- heels are so not the business. I say the funniest part of the night was when Carmen was backing it up on Jamie. Somehow Jamie lost his balance, going down to the ground with Carmen following. Do you know this chick had a beer bottle in each hand and didn't spill a single sip as she proceeded to fall on her ass. ONE BEER BOTTLE IN EACH HAND and she DID NOT spill a SINGLE SIP! We had a great time for sure. I would've never guessed that the very next week, we would be crying instead of dancing...

Hey Carmen,

Me:...You ever had sex with a white man before?
Carmen: Yeah. Can't do it no more.
Me: Why? How was it?
Carmen: It was alright. They have small ding dongs though.
Me: What?
Carmen: You like Vienna sausages?

LMAOOOOOOOOO. Boy Carmen has a way with words.

Loves and Likes Ya

YAY! My Baby Is Back!

After all the virus hoopla, my poor Dell just wasn't performing the same. Yeah, she went through the motions, but her performance was lagging and little by little- she broke down on me. It got to the point when I just tossed it on the bed in front of my dad and said, "Please fix this before I BREAK this." A whole 2 weeks later (yeah my dad be on that CP time with fixing my stuff. I don't care all that much though since if I was anyone else, I'd have to pay out the ass for this kind of service.) she's back! Updated with Windows 7 and purring like a kitten with a tummy full of milk. New posts coming this weekend.

Loves and Likes Ya=> just like I LOVES and LIKES my new & improved Dell!

SMH

You know what? Reading some of my past posts? LMFAO! Helps me realize just how CRAZY I am! I mean, I now understand why some most of my friends say that I have no sense. Because I don't! And moving on...

So, it's a Thursday night and I'm back at the ol' watering hole. Feeling good off a vodka/cranberry/orange juice and one malibu and coke. From across the bar a guy winks at me and motions to buy me a drink. I nod my head yes (because who in their right mind will turn down a free drink?) and he makes his way to the empty seat beside me. Sitting down, he introduces himself to me as Steve, and shakes my hand. I tell him my real name (lol) and we talk some.

Steve: So is your boyfriend a big man?
Me: Yeah. He's 7'4" and 400 lbs.
Steve:Well, it was nice talking to ya. (gets up and leave)

I admit, that threw me off guard. He's just gonna LEAVE? I don't even HAVE a boyfriend! I chuckled to myself and finished drinking my free malibu and coke. Steve catches my eye again and makes a "come hither" motion with his hands. I shake my head no just as Mr. Married Man came up to me. Me and him (MMM) walked outside for a bit so he can smoke his ciggie and we can catch up. Things weren't awkward, which was good. He asked where Carmen was and told me he saw her at the train station with her man. Then he asked how I was doing, because apparently it looks like I'm going through it?

MMM: So what's up Chelle? You lookin kinda...
Me: Well damn, and here I was thinking I looked kinda cute. I mean, I wouldn't necessarily kick myself out of the bed.
MMM (laughs then takes a drag): Nah ma, you know you're sexy as hell. I'm lookin in your eyes though. I know it ain't men problems. (I give him the- "NOW YOU KNOW" look) 99 problems but a nigga ain't one, hunh?
Me: Exactly.

MMM's phone goes off and I go back inside before any plans can be made. Steve is still at the bar and nodding his head at me. I tab out and make my way towards him.

Steve: Your boyfriend won't get jealous that I'm talking to you, will he?
Me: Yes.
Steve: Let him get jealous. I know dude ain't hittin it right anyway. How old are you?
Me: 24. How old are you?
Steve: Old enough. (let that be read as over 30 definitely)
Me: I don't have a boyfriend
Steve: You ain't got no boyfriend? (I shake my head no) Well I know you got boy toys then
Me: And what makes you think that?
Steve: Cuz I know. (He gives me a long lingering look) But after we hook up, you can't be stalking me. I got a job and shit.
Me: Is that right?
Steve: Girl don't you know? I'm a Scorpio. You know what that means?
Me: No. Please enlighten me (of course I know. Scorpi-HO)
Steve: That means I'm a FREAK. I'll lick you EVERYWHERE. Girl, I'll lick your EYEBROWS....TWICE!
(Sorry, tried to hold it, but exploded with a loud laugh that caught everyone at the bar's attention) And I love to eat pussy. These young guys out here (he has to be at least 10 yrs older than me with that statement) do it because they feel they have to. I do it because I love it. Choke me with your thighs. Smother me until I can't breathe. Let me up for air for 5 seconds then push my head back down. I love that shit.

Have I mentioned that I've been drinking?! Numbers where exchanged.

Loves and Likes Ya!