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Friday, January 29, 2010

HOLD DA PHONE!

I was on the phone with my ex Darryl, strolling around the Wal-Mart for a late night shopping spree. So I'm wandering around the book section (knowing damn well I have no business over there) and HOLD DA G.D. PHONE! "CARL WEBER HAS A NEW BOOK OUT!!!!"

"Who?" DJ is asking me. He was sayin somethin (damn what was he talkin bout?) and was clearly taken aback by my outburst. Just like the homegirl browsing books was as well.
"OMIGOSH! I though it was coming out in FEBRUARY! Do I get it?"
"You don't need it"
"I really don't. I got like 7 books at home I have yet to attacked. But it's CARL WEBER. Ooooo, it's the sequel to Something On The Side, I have to get it now. No I don't. Yes I do. Put it down."
Sorry. I picked it up. Had to. So now I'm reading it and it may be a while before I blog you something proper, ok? OK! Thanks for being understanding.

Loves and Likes ya

Monday, January 25, 2010

Stereotypical Fling

So there's this security guard at my job. He's a cute lil white boy, a lil too thin for my initial liking, but cute nonetheless. I'm always joking with my friends that my next boyfriend is going to be white but he's married y'all! Now, Ms. Chelle don't want to break up any happy homes. I mean, that was more of my mom's kind of thing- not mine. So instead I decided to engage in some harmless flirting with him and he happily flirted back.

Now this has been going on for a looooooong time. He started working at other job sites for a while but eventually came back to my job. We hugged and I asked where he's been and all that jazz. T-Dub was in the house and he told ( I'm going to give him a nickname- Top Flight) Top Flight that I had a white boyfriend the other weekend. (I'll blog about that later- maybe. It was kinda risque and I would hate to dim your opinion of me) Once T-Dub left, Top Flight asked me why I was cheating on him.

"Excuse ME?"
"You heard me, you got another white boyfriend? I see how you do,"
"Umm, number 1: He lives in Detroit, so I doubt I'll see him again. Number 2: You're married- it ain't none of your damn business. Nothing's gonna happen, I don't break up happy homes"
"It ain't a happy home" Tell that to the next chick, I said to myself.


We're still flirting, sexual innuendos flying back and forth, and before I know it- it's time for me to go home. We say our farewells and thats that. Tell my why (and to my girl K, you don't even have to feel bad because I didn't even take my own advice) after feeling restless around 2 am, I start to text him? WHY?!? I've never text him nor call him before- why did I begin that night? At the time it seemed like a harmless idea. Most of my friends are in the bed by 11 (when I'm just getting off of work) and I only knew of 2 people who would be up. Top Flight got a message from me that read, "What R U wearin?"
"Ur fave- handcuffs & boxers" I had to "LOL :)"  at that response.
"so whats up b/n me & u"
"whatcha mean? aint u married?"
"here we go again"
"u like me for real? i thought we were just playin"
"naw"
"and how long have u felt this way?"
"i've always liked u."
 Most cliche saying in the book- so why did I get a lil fuzzy when he said that? Damn dry spell. The next day I confided in the wise one- also known as Trina. What did she have to say about it?
"Is the wife white?"
"Yea"
"So?  Look, white women have been coming between black marriages and couples for years. Do it for the sistas."
"The sistas? Like Bernie? From Waiting to Exhale?" I'm looking at her a bit in confusion and wonderment.
"Exactly. Chelle, you know you ain't right, right?"
"It's something I've been told from time to time."
So fast forward to the next time he works my site (one week later) I called him in to help me pass out some reciepts. We're walking down the hall and he pulls me to the side and proceeds to kiss me- with tongue.

"Whoa! Where did that come from?" I asked him. I really wasn't expecting that- but that aggressiveness was a turn-ON.
"Same place this came from" and we're kissing AGAIN.
I gotta rethink this white boy boyfriend thing, because even though the kiss was nice- it would have been even nicer if I didn't have to taste his moustache. All my kissing techniques were developed and mastered with guys who have nice juicy lips. I mean- not like big soup coolers- but they were a nice size. This guy's top lip is so thin, he HAD to kiss with tongue. lmao. That wasn't nice Chelle.

Terry says I shouldn't do it, and he's speaking from personal experience. I know that, more than likely, things will not be taken to a sexual level. At least not a full on sexual level.

****UPDATED****


Dammit, Terry is right. It is harder to engage in an affair when you've put a face to the "wife" And I've put words together with the "wife" as well, thanks to a little invention called Facebook.  Chile, I am too through!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I'm Sorry

It really doesn't make any damn sense how much I have slacked off from my blogging duties. I'm like MEGA lazy lately and being a Procrastinating Patty. Don't worry, I'll do right by you. lol. New post coming tomorrow!

Loves and Likes Ya!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

No Good!

So my bestie Terry calls me. We've been friends since junior year of high school when we both bonded over the fact that we were different from other "IB Kids" (In case you don't know what IB is- it stands for International Baccalaurate and is basically a step up from AP courses) So anyways, Terry is gay (oops, I just outed him) and he always fell for the straight guys. I'm talkin bout straight-up straight guys. Because of this, I'm not surprised to hear:

"Chelle, help. I fell in love with a straight guy"
Terry and I can go weeks and months between talking to each other (He's bad about calling people and returning phone calls, and I'm 10x worse! Ask anyone) But I knew the guy he was talking about. Why? Because when he first told me that him and home-boy hung out (Terry isn't what you would call a flamer. He's one of those kinds that you may suspect but don't want to say anything just in case you're wrong) he told me about how funny, smart, and cute he was but he doesn't feel anything for him which is good since he's straight. I told him he didn't feel anything yet, but he wasn't tryna hear that. But here we are. Me, on the bed, one hand holding the phone and the other petting Kaycee. And him, outside in the cold, walking his dog and venting his feelings.

Why do we want things we can't (or shouldn't) have? It makes no sense the kind of torture we subject ourselves to. And I can't talk about Terry because boy have I been there! Thomas, Jay, Austin, Chris- nan one of em good for anything but ONE thing. Every one of them had me on the phone with Terry like:
"He's a no good jiggaboo. Why am I wasting my time? Tell me I'm wasting my time!"

Lol. Sad but true. Is it time for a list??

Things To Do To Occupy Your Mind So You Won't Think Of The Guy Who Is No Good For You:

  1. Reading a Book (one with a lot of drama)


  2. Watching a Lifetime Movie Marathon ( make sure its the movies where the men are the bad guys. to remind you that you can't want that)


  3. Shopping (trying on clothes and shoes can lift anyone's spirit)


  4. Hanging Out With Friends (preferbly a friend who has more man issues than you)


  5. Sleeping (what can I say? i love to sleep!)