Maybe White Ain't Alright?

Anybody who is close to me knows that I always say that my next boyfriend is going to be white. They think I'm playing. I'm like 87.62% sure that my next boyfriend isn't going to black. It is what it is. This being said, I have been having fun with all these vanilla pudding pops at my job. (Looking back at that last statement- maybe my sister was right about my analogies, lol) It's been hard balancing them though. Paul, David, Sam, Neal -and those names sound so white bread- all want some time with me and I'm feeling like my hands are full. I know that none of the guys I just listed can even be considered as boyfriend material. Paul is a divorced single father of 2 sons and stays in NY. David is going through a divorce with his wife, has a daughter, and lives in Michigan. Sam is the only one who is close to my age and he stays like an hour and some change away, but... I dunno. I don't trust his dimples. Neal is fresh from divorce after finding out his wife cheated on him. He's close to my age too and is a major cutie. But still, the problem I'm having is this: How can I tell if they're really interested in me, or if they're just trying to curb their craving for chocolate?

I know that I didn't tell you guys about this but sometime before that whole Top Flight Security fiasco, there was this white guest from Detroit. He was only 20 and looked cute wearing a white wife-beater, basketball shorts, and Jordan flip flops. I was on the couch watching some movie and he sat down right beside me. We talked and chilled for a while and he started getting fresh- in a good way. Things happened (I don't have to spell it out for you do I?) we didn't exchange numbers, can't even remember his name, but I couldn't help but feel like I was some kind of...what's the word? Not object, but...like I was an experiment or something? First time I ever felt like that after sex, so it caught me off guard. I wondered if I would've had those same feelings if it was a black guy.

That experience has affected me for sure, resulting in me giving the side eye to any white guy moving too fast without my consent. Damn shame. So Sam is talking to me and we're talking about music. AGAIN- I love all kinds of music and it shows in my iPod. He kept calling me Macy Gray because of how my hair was. I told him I get compared to Jill Scott most of the time and he had no idea who I was talking about. Then he says he doesn't like Kanye West because he doesn't make his own music. WHA?!?! I admit that I'm not that big of a fan of his 808's and Heartbreak album but his earlier albums are CLASSIC. (Moment of Silence for respect of albums)  How do I tell this white boy about the art of sampling and how people have been copying each other songs for centuries? I tried y'all. Out of the respect of my genealogy, I HAD to. I just saw my Dad and Sauce as floating heads over my shoulder looking in on this situation. That's when he said opposites attract or something like that. True. But I couldn't help but think about what other things we can disagree on, which can be many thanks to our different backgrounds. And what about other guys from different races? Wouldn't I be going through the same thing with them? Then I'll feel like Sanaa Lathan's character in the movie Something New. It's a lot to think about. For sure.

Loves and Likes Ya