S.O.S. Part II

finally, part II

 We're leaving the gas station and it's obvious this fool, Loon, is drunk. He misjudges his u-turn and proceeds to hop a curb and maim a bush. Then he gets on the highway doing 85. Any bit of buzz I may have had was killed trying to focus on Speed Racer's drunk Asian cousin! After a maze of turns once we exited the highway, we finally turn into this beautiful community of town homes. Parking is pretty nonexistent so we park our cars at the community center and walk to the house. We go in and the first words out of Loon's mouth were,

"We ain't got no drinks or nothing but we can just chill."

Now me and Shara are looking at each other with the "WTF" faces. 

"So how y'all gon' invite us over for drinks when y'all ain't got none?" Shara asks. I co-sign the statement.

 "I'm saying though, we can just chill and whateva." Loon is saying, trying to get us to stay.

At this point, my stomach is feeling a little tight. Idk, it's a nervous thing I get whenever I know I'm going to be alone with a guy. It's been happening to me every since my first date with my first real boyfriend. So somehow we're on this small ass love seat, Shara and Eddie with me on the armrest, and we have the TV on. Loon is trying to get me up to his room. Shara is trying to get me to stay down in the living room. Eddie is trying to shoo me off to Loon so he can be with Shara alone. At this point, I'm just like- EFF IT, whatever happens, happens.
   I go upstairs and I sit on the bed, he follows. And we talk. And when I say we, I mean HE. Obviously he's one of those people who turn into talkers when they get drunk. He'll talk, I'll make a face, he'll get distracted and stop, I'd look at him, and he keeps talking. He's talking in circles. Telling me his life story but at the same time, not going into details- leaving me as lost as Paris Hilton in a Wal-Mart. Finally he takes a break and goes to the bathroom. During this silence I hear Shara fiercely whispering my name up the steps. I get up off the bed and see her halfway leaning up the stairs. She starts to ask me if I'm ready to go yet. I tell her yeah and just give me a little time to say goodbye to this nut. I go back to the room and he's getting out of the bathroom. I tell him I'm about to go and he's looking a little sad. He's making sure that he has my number in his phone (after about 4 failed attempts, he finally saves it under L lashel. Damn shame.) and he's inviting me to come back anytime so we can chill. He's placing sweet little kisses on my neck and on my cheek and I hear the fierce whisper of my name again. I ignore it and right when we go for the kiss on the lips, I hear my name being called again. But this time I stop, because the tone of this voice don't sound too good. Call it that sister intuition, but I knew something wasn't right. So I grab Loon and tell him to walk me to my car. The look on Shara's face is priceless. The look of a pissed-off sistagurl.
   When we get back into the car, Shara begins to relay the events that happened once Loon and I left the living room:

"Once y'all left, he turned into this HORNDOG! He began to rub his hands on my body and I'm like- You need to slow your roll and he's like- I can't help it, you're so sexy. And then he tries to kiss me. But he kisses like a big, slobbery, St. Bernard. I mean Kaycee (our miniature Schnauzer) can kiss better than him. So I'm steady pushing him off me and I get up from the sofa and head to the kitchen to get some air and a glass of water. He follows me to the kitchen and then proceeds to back me up and pick me up and put me on the counter top. And he's at it again. If it was anybody else, I would've been turned on but he's like too pushy and his skills are wack. And worst- he unzipped my pants and tried to eat me out. I'm like- What are you doing?! and he's like- I just gotta taste you. And I say- No you don't. Because I already knew that if he can't kiss my lips, he can't lick MY lips! So I just tell him that I gotta go to the bathroom and then that's when I start whispering your name and asked if you were ready to go. I mean, I didn't know what was going on up there with you two so I didn't want to cut any good times short."

"Girl, the only thing he was doing was telling me his life story like I was watching VH1 Behind the Music or something"

"You're a trip. So then after we talk, I go back to the living room and sit back on the couch and he's acting normal. And in the middle of our conversation, he's trying to stretch me out on the couch and he WHIPS HIS DICK OUT and that's when you heard me call your name again, I was scared that he was so drunk that he was gonna try to take it or something! I guess he realized my fears and got a grip of himself because he started apologizing."

"Wooooooow. I can't believe it! Eddie? Maaan. " PAUSE  "How big was he?"

"Gurrl, it was weak just like him!"

Gotta hear those S.O.S signals!

Loves and Likes Ya