Love my mama, always have, always will. But at times- I really can't stand that heffa. Lemme try to explain our relationship- without the sad violins, lol. This is a VERY long post, seeing as I have a lot of things to get off my chest. Sorry, but until I find out if my benefits will cover therapy, you're just gonna have to ride it out with me.
Living with her for those 8 years, was the most unstable period of my life. We were constantly moving around, I was subjected to her JACKASS boyfriends (who, 95% of the time, were married or already had a main chick) but I never really said anything. I lived in my own little world with my barbies and books and hanging out with Tony. If it wasn't for Aunt Toni and Tony, I seriously don't know WHAT my childhood would've been like. It seemed like my mom was hell-bent on drinking and partying even though she had me and my younger sister Che', who has Down's Syndrome. When she realized that having both me and my sister was cutting down on her partying, she shipped me off to my father in Atlanta when I was 7.
I truly felt like an only child there. I mean, up north I was SURROUNDED by family! Everybody who saw me knew that I was "Lil MikeMike" and knew what the deal was if they tried to mess mith me or my family. In Georgia- it was just me, my dad, and his eternal fiancee Cookie. Cookie had a big family so I got to do things with them, but most of the time I was tagging along with my dad and Cookie. In and out of studios. If your parents got divorced when you were young, you know how it is. You long for the parent that you're not with. And that's what I did, spent time thinking about how different my life was. During the summer I went to visit my mom, but she had a plan of her own. I remembered thinking that something wasn't right. I wound up doing 3rd grade in Easton when I should've been back in Atlanta. I didn't realize that, technically, she kidnapped me. That would explain why in the middle of 3rd grade we moved to Virginia with my cousin. Eventually I got back to Atlanta, and after that incident I only went to Easton if Aunt Toni handled the arrangements.
But even after all that craziness, I still missed my momma and I wanted to be with her. She would disappear out of my life for months at a time, call and apologize, and promise me it will get better. And then disappear on me again. She had me TWISTED y'all. She will tell me all these things, things she wanted but she couldn't do, but had me believing every one of her exaggerated stories. I seriously thought that she would just swoop on in and get me again. Time and time and time again she just let me down. I got used to it and kept on trucking, thinking that I didn't really have any family on my side and I was just being. (I'm sorry, there goes those damn violins! Lemme get them to stop)
After high school, I decided to try and repair my relationship with my mom and go live with her, taking some classes at a community college. That was a RUDE awakening. She had me thinking that she lived in an apartment with a roomate. In all actuality, she was living in a shelter (a really nice one owned by nuns) with 2 other roomates and their kids. It was set up like a dorm. There were 3 rooms (each room had a small bathroom and 2 beds) 1 full bathroom, 1 computer/play room, a big living room/ dining room/ kitchen area. The nuns had curfews and rules and chile, it was a mess! I stayed there for a hot lil minute but I had to call Aunt Toni and tell her to come get me (my mom doesn't have a license nor a car) . She told me I can house sit while her and her kids went on a cruise. While they did that, I happened upon a job opportunity. I continued staying with Aunt Toni once they came back, and I successfully ignored my mom's phone calls while trying to figure out the mess I got myself into. That all changed one morning when my mom stopped by Aunt Toni's one morning with Che'. She asked if I could watch my sister because she's being arrested on forgery charges and violating her probation. Yes, my mom went to prison y'all. I think it was only for a year though. I was too through! I felt sooo embarassed and didn't want to call my dad just so he can say "I told you so" But with my tail between my legs and my equilibrium thrown completely off, I went back. I didn't speak to my mother for like 2 years.
I just accepted her for what she is *rolling my eyes and shaking my head* a drama queen. So before I go up there, I always call Aunt Toni so she can tell me what's REALLY going on. Bless her heart, she want things to be picture perfect and she spends her time trying to portray herself as something she is not. I just get so tired of her lying to me. I went up there for Thanksgiving to spend time with her and Che'. Instead I had to deal with more lies and her manchild hubby. I got a chance to tell her how I felt about some of her decisions, but I know it's no good. She needs to change her mentality and be more receptive to other people's opinions. Whatever child. Let's just say that this therapy session is over. I got a damn headache now.
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